Her Sorrow
by The Lady Destiny
Summary: "It's an illusion!" "You aren't her sister!" "Do you have a problem?" Without Jasper, Belle is a mess. She won't feed, and she is losing weight at a horrible rate. Soon there might not be anything left. Belle can only focus on helping Bella, and consorting with werewolves. What is Paul's view on her? M for insinuation.
1. A Prologue

**Given the years of travesty, the years of being alone, I shouldn't have been surprised by this. I shouldn't have been surprised that this would come. I should have seen it. Didn't they always say that 'all good things must come to an end'? Needless to say, I didn't see it coming, and I hadn't been prepared for it. It took my heart by such surprise that merely a touch had broken it.**

**I'd never thought he could do it, that he could take my heart when I gave it, and then throw it away when he thought it was worthless. I was worthless. I would always be worthless.**

**For him.**

**But she needed me. I'd stay for that. That was the only reason I had left.**

_I hope you guys are excited for this! I've been working pretty hard on it and I think I'm ready to put it up. Hopefully it's up to all of your standards. I love it. It's kind of short, a lot shorter then my other works. Jasper isn't in it a lot, because I wouldn't make her go with the Cullens because it would be forced. I don't want to force this. I knew that Belle, as my character, she wouldn't go with Jasper. Especially after what Jasper does. _

_I hope it meets with your standards!_


	2. A Beginning

**Growls, long blonde hair, and strength that could kill. It was killing. He was leaning over my sister, his teeth sinking into her skin. No matter what I tried, running, jumping, or climbing I couldn't get to him. Something was holding me back, keeping me away. I looked behind me. There was me, with dull green eyes. I screamed and screamed and screamed but nothing worked.**

A nightmare. The thought fluttered through my head as I blinked my eyes open. I'd been having nightmares on and off since that day. I don't know why, seeing as I didn't feel bad about this. They were slowly going away, and this is the only one I've had in two months.

I awakened a little more and got up, waking myself up. Life was peaceful, perfect. I was happy here. The only kind of drama we had right now was the fact that Bella wanted to be changed, and soon. I didn't understand her hurry. She had so many years with her human life, and when she turns into a vampire it'll become high school, again and again. Why would she want that?

The answer was simple, Edward. She feels as if she will die any moment, as if she were to be murdered and we would not be there to protect her. I was torn between wanting her to be changed, and not. I wanted to see my sister grow up, age, have a family and be happy. I knew though that she wouldn't be happy without Edward, and he'd never be able to give her children. It was a lost cause. She wanted to be changed, and nothing I've said to her has changed her mind.

Once dressed, and showered I made my way down the stairs to the kitchen, where Charlie was waiting, but he was surprised to see me awake. It's true I've been sleeping later then I used to but that was at the request of everyone around me. Apparently my passing out had scared a lot of people more than I thought. It hurt that when I was just sitting there having a good time some people would try and make me take a nap. I had wasted no time in informing them that I didn't _need _sleep and to shut up.

"Belle, I didn't know you were awake yet." Charlie chuckled before picking up two presents, and handing them to me. "Happy birthday." I took the presents warily. I loved presents, but I didn't know if Charlie would get me something I liked or not. One of the presents weren't covered, it was a camera. The other was a scrapbook. Not bad.

"Thanks Dad." I said, hugging him. "It wasn't a sweater with balls hanging off of it, that's all I asked." I grinned at him and turned the camera on. So there were batteries in it. I turned the camera at Charlie and he grinned goofily. My snort was swallowed by my laughter as I took the picture he crossed his eyes.

"Is Bella still sleeping?" I asked Charlie, looking at the picture before glancing up at him. He wore his usual clothing, plaid with jeans. I was wearing my usual, converse and skinny jeans with a shirt that had a funny saying on it. Today it was 'Keep Calm and Build things in a cave with a box of scraps'. I hadn't known what the saying was from, but I thought it was cute when I bought it.

"Yeah." Charlie said and I grinned.

"Come on; let's go give her our presents." I told him, bouncing over to the closet in the hall, where I'd hidden Bella's present. I grabbed it from the top of the closet, with the help of Charlie. It was wrapped in sparkly purple paper with a green ribbon wrapping it up on top. Together, Charlie and I snuck into Bella's room but it was all for naught, as she was awake anyways. Or as awake as she could be, seeing as she was still in bed in her pajamas, with Romeo and Juliet beside her.

"Happy Birthday!" I beamed, handing her my box.

"I thought we agreed no presents." Bella grunted, pouting as she looked down at the box.

"Yeah, well mine isn't wrapped." Charlie said, handing over a camera for Bella. The scrapbook must have been from Renee. My nose crinkled. We had reconciled, but I wouldn't forgive her though. It has been _her _who'd tried to guilt trip Bella into going back with her by trying to tell her that Charlie didn't want her. I would have exploded had Jasper not been with me.

That was a while ago anyways. That didn't make it any better, didn't mean anything anymore though. A year for vampires is just as clear to us, as a month is to humans. Sometimes it can pass without us noticing, or it can drag by with it seeming as if it was a century.

Bella placed the camera down and the scrapbook down and opened mine, which was only a small box really. Inside was a beautiful ring, with a small diamond on it. "It was in the things my mother left with me." I told Bella, winking at her behind Charlie's back. It was originally given to me by a Brazilian tribe who had worshiped me as a deity, the jewel. They were a beautiful people down there and I'd cherished my time with them. Maybe I'd go back when we left Forks.

"Thank you." Bella said. I'd had it resized to fit her finger, which had been hard to do, seeing as I'd waited until she was asleep to get her finger size. It's hard to catch her alone to, because she's usually with Edward.

"Bella! Belle!" I turned, when Alice came jumping over the stairs of the school and down to where Bella and I stood. Edward was standing with us and Jasper was standing behind Alice, so I walked to him, smiling and taking the wrapped box that Alice handed me.

I'd missed Jasper. This year I didn't have him for more than two classes, as our school was on the block schedule, where we only have four classes. I thought it had been unnecessary to change it when we came back, but I've gotten used to it. With all four classes so long, one of the classes I did have him with is two hours long, unfortunately it's advanced chemistry. I dislike it immensely. It's not so much that I didn't understand it, as I didn't like it and understanding it doesn't make it any better for me.

"I thought I said no presents." Bella complained and Alice pouted at me, where I stood in Jasper's arms, silently watching. Holding up my hands I spoke.

"I told them to get you presents. Sorry, Bella but you deserve at least one more birthday." I teased her, winking and turning to Jasper. "Good morning, Major." I said, leaning up to peck him on the lips. He chuckled.

"Well," Alice huffed. "I've already seen you open it, and you love it. You're going to wear it tonight, our place." She turned to me. "You by the way _will _be wearing a dress." She threatened, pointing at me. Oh, yeah. Bella and I's 'surprise' party. I'd found out through Jasper, after he'd been all secretive. He didn't last long though when I really worked for it.

"Whatever you say, Alice." My voice sounded exasperated and Jasper shot me with a little enthusiasm and I poked him in the chest. I already loved the party. We'd put up lights at the Cullen house, and Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were supposed to be fixing up the rest of it since Bella walked in and we had to stop to distract her. It had been fun; I'd gotten her to try to beat one of Emmett's video games.

Bella though seemed to be about to disagree. Jasper changed that and I suppose Alice counted, since she did the begging.

"Come on. Please? It'll be fun." Alice pleaded, even sticking her lip out. Jasper put his magic to work.

"Okay. All right." She agreed. I squeezed Jasper in thanks.

"Great!" Alice cheered, hopping around in her pixie like cheer. "Okay, I'll see you both at seven." Alice said, bouncing over to us. "Come on."

"Jasper!" Bella realized, motioning to him in a frustrated motion. "No fair, with the mood control thing." Alice and I laughed at her.

"Sorry Bella, Happy…" Her expression turned dark and Jasper stopped making me grin widely. "Never mind."

Alice pulled me along and Jasper followed. All three of us had our last class together. French II. I don't know how Jasper managed to make it into the class but I suspected he used his emotions, and his charm. I didn't care though, he was in my class.

I still liked the teacher. Very happy go lucky. I have the language already learned and so did my companions so most of the time we were allowed to sit and talk quietly in the back of the class as she taught the humans. As long as we turned in our work, and it was all one hundreds I figured it would stay that way.

"I still say the rainbow lights would have worked better." I argued with Alice in the back of the class. Jasper and I sat beside of each other, while Alice sat in front of me. She had her desk always turned to the side, so she could talk both of us, her back facing the wall. We were at my favorite part of the classroom, the back corner next to the windows. My desk was right beside a window. Jasper even got away with moving his seat next to mine. No one in the other classes had the nerve to move the desks out of their spot.

One kid tried it once. I conned the teacher to tell me who, and I pranked them by having Emmett drive by their house and throw dye on them when they were outside. It had been hilarious and Emmett had hailed me the prank queen for coming up with the idea. No one else had the nerve, like I said before.

"No, no, they would have bounced off all of the roses." Alice argued.

"But they would have highlighted the white walls. We could have just put a few around the house." I pouted. Jasper was silent, not caring for this conversation. I rolled my eyes and let it go. The place would be beautiful.

"Jasper?" I asked, turning to him. He returned his attention, which had wandered, back to me. "Do you ever think we talk about things that are too feminine?" I set him up to fail. Anyway he answered this question he was trapped. It was hilarious to do this to males. You have no idea how fun Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and I take joy in doing it. Of course Bella tried once. Edward ended up dazzling her until she forgot the question.

"No?" Jasper asked more than answered.

"So you're saying our conversations just aren't interesting?" I asked him, trying my best to hide the amusement in my voice and emotions.

"Yeah, Jasper. Are we not interesting people?" Alice joined in, narrowing her eyes.

"No?" He said again. I laughed when the bell rang.

"You got lucky this time!" I warned as he hastily gathered his things. "I see a shopping trip in your future." I bugged my eyes in mocking Alice. She hit me lightly and I winced. None too lightly for vampires.

Jasper ended up waiting on me, and we walked with my arm in his elbow down the hall. We were no longer a big deal to the humans. Bella and I had almost become part of the Cullen's for the humans. They didn't talk to us a lot, barely any of the old group did. When they thought we couldn't hear them they bad mouthed the Cullen family. I couldn't stand to be around them when they were like that. Except Angela, she never judged even if she thought we were to in cased with our boyfriends. If she knew how much Jasper meant to me I'm sure she wouldn't think that way anymore.

The only really eventful thing that had even happened had been Jacob Black's visit this morning. I'd found out exactly why he had smelled so off when I met him, and ever since. He was turning into a shape-shifter. I could practically smell it all over him this morning, instead of the undercurrent of it. If he hadn't already turned he wasn't that far away from it, just a push away I'd say. He was beefy to, lots of muscle.

I hadn't spoken to him, more than a hey, happy birthday. It was pretty obvious that the guy had a thing for my sister. He no longer even tried to hide it. He'd even given her a handmade dream catcher. He was so out of luck to. Bella was a lost cause, already wrapped up in Edward. I still thought his Volvo was a pounce vehicle, and I'd told Edward. He'd insisted that it was safe, and efficient. Pounce. I'd said.

At six sharp we'd left Charlie's together in Bella's horrible truck. It was still holding up well, and it wasn't because we wanted it to. Us vampires were just begging for the thing to break down so we could buy her a new one. I didn't know a lot about cars but Rose did. She also told me she didn't mind me calling her Rose. That was good.

The party looked wonderful. I don't know about me. I was a vampire now, but Alice had kidnapped me when I'd walked in the door, and told Jasper to stay away or it would be him that got the makeover. I don't know how she managed to scare him but it worked and I haven't seen him. However: I was now in a red short dress. It was really beautiful with fabric coming down from in between the bust. I liked it a lot, surprisingly. It had been in the box that Alice had handed me and she had picked it out herself, though Jasper had given me something even more beautiful than the dress.

When I came down the stairs, with make-up highlighting the contours of my face, high-heels that let me stand at his chin, and a beautiful hairpin, holding my hair to the side, Jasper had been speechless. I could only understand when he started radiating lust, happiness, overwhelming love, and possession. It had nearly brought everyone in the house to our knees.

"Belle," Jasper whispered to me while everyone was waiting for Bella's turn to be over. It hadn't taken Alice this long with me, so I was already suspicious. "Will you follow me?" Jasper asked. I nodded, squinting at him as he pulled me along, with the others watching, and took me out back and behind a wall, so the others couldn't see me.

"What is it Jasper?" I was curious. Jasper grinned, and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a long box and I stared at it. "What?"

"I hope you don't already have it." Jasper teased, opening the long box. Inside was a beautiful, magical, bracelet. I hesitated before taking it up. It was beautiful, and if the box is to be trusted it was from Tiffany. It had swirls inside of two bands, and all of it was diamonds. Two single golden diamonds were on either side, and I couldn't help but think that they matched ours. It was so gorgeous that I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Gently Jasper took it from my hands, slowly sliding it over my wrist and letting it rest there. I hadn't worn any jewelry but now I was perfect. It matched my outfit completely and I couldn't help but think that maybe Alice had planned my outfit around it.

"Jasper, it's gorgeous." I squealed, holding it up so it bounced off of the light.

"Good, because it's yours. No one else has it." Jasper told me, pulling me softly to him by the hips. I looked up to his eyes and smiled. Then I leaned up and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me fully, fitting me to him with both hands on my bottom, and mine rested in his hair. Slowly I drug my leg up his, and I heard his groan.

"Ew!" I heard Alice as she slapped Emmett. I parted from Jasper growling.

"I'll kill him!" I yelled, just enough for him to hear it. Jasper chuckled, kissing me passionately, with a little fire of lust, one more time before taking my hand and pulling me back inside. I shot daggers at Emmett with my eyes but he was being chastised by his wife right now.

"Where's Bella?" I asked, looking for my sister so I could show her my bracelet.

"She's in my office with Edward. He wished to show her one of my old pictures." Carlisle told me, smiling while he stood with Esme. It was so sweet to see them together. I couldn't help but wonder how long they had been together. It must have been a long time.

"I'll go get her." I told them, breaking from Jasper's embrace for now so that I could go find my absentee sister. I went up the stairs that I had come down when Jasper had seen me. I'd thought it was clichéd, but Alice wanted to go the full mile and really get a reaction. Now I followed the sound of Edward's voice to the office, stopping in the door way.

"The Volturi are a very old, very powerful family." Edward explained to Bella. I stood silently, my mood kind of downing at the mere mention of the Volturi's name. "I guess they're the closest thing to royalty my world has." The painting they were observing was of Aro, Caius, and Marcus on a very familiar balcony, overlooking vampires below them. It had been made in the later days of their rule. I could see Carlisle, standing off to the side of the balcony, not really interested in the ruling gig I could see. He must have come later in their ruling days as well.

"Is that…Carlisle?" Bella asked and my eyes looked away from the painting, which truly was well painted, and back to my sister. She looked great in a green dress.

"Yeah, he lived with them for a few decades. Described them as very refined. No respect for human life, of course, but a respect for the arts and the sciences, at least." Edward explained to Bella. He was spot on, that sounded just like Aro, put nicely. "And the law." Not so much the law any more. I suppose at one time they still cared about the law. Really now all they thought about was greed. Or Aro did. Cauis was all about killing everything in his path, while Marcus just didn't care that much anymore. Ever since his mate's death he had been a shadow of himself.

"Vampires have laws?" Bella asked and I pushed off of the wall to stand beside them, gathering Bella's attention, Edward had already known I was there of course.

"Not very many and only one that is regularly enforced." I told her, staring at the painting and not her.

"What is it?" Bella curiously asked.

"That we keep the existence of our kind a secret." I looked at her as she paid full attention to me. "We don't make spectacles of ourselves, and we don't kill conspicuously. Unless you wish for death." I put my arms crossed around my chest, holding one hand balanced on it. "It isn't a bad rule. We can't be seen by humans, or you understand the panic it would cause. They'd try to exterminate us. The Volturi are just…a little different in their executions then I would be." I nodded and uncrossed my arms.

"Wait." Bella pointed at me. "You're really old-" I pouted.

"Thanks Bella, I really needed that confidence boost on my birthday." I poked her in the stomach while Edward laughed. I don't remember my real birthday, but this was fine. I liked to share things like this with Bella.

"You know that isn't what I meant." Oh, I did. Bella herself didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that she was still aging. She's still going on about that. "What I was trying to ask, was have you ever met the Volturi?" I stopped moving, looking her in the eyes. I wouldn't lie to her, but that didn't mean I had to tell her the whole truth.

"Yeah." I said before changing the subject. "Look what Jasper got me for my birthday." I held up my wrist, the bracelet shining on it. Bella's eyes widened and she gulped. It wasn't her style, I know that but I really liked it. A lot.

"It's…nice." Bella said. I scowled at her, dropping my arm.

"Fine then party pooper, the others are waiting downstairs." I told her, motioning her away. I vaguely heard the rest of the conversation between them as I walked in front back to the living room. They said something about Edward's death. I was probably missing something. Then they brought up Victoria, which just brightened my birthday.

I liked not to think about that threat. She might be the reason I was still having nightmares. Just thinking of how I took someone one's mate away makes me long to be in Jasper's embrace again.

For that reason I sped downstairs and jumped into his embrace. Jasper caught me as I ran, twirling me once, making me giggle in happiness. I was happy in Jasper's arms, content even.

**I hope you liked it! I don't have much to tell you except that I went to see the Hobbit and I now have a new thirst for the Lord of the Rings series….again. So I'm working on my own AragornOC story. I adore Aragorn, but I detest Arwen. She wasn't there for most of the story and when she was I just didn't like her. I don't know whether to completely kick her out of the story or what….Anyways the Eclipse part of this story might be a long time coming. I'm working on all kinds of ideas right now, and none of them for this story.**


	3. A Disaster Field

Alice had music playing in the background, the Violet hour I think. It was a great song, as Bella came down the stair case, Edward pulling her along. We all stood in the room, which was covered with candles and roses. The white lights were perfect, I have to admit that Alice was right and they did look better then colorful lights. She was good, I'd give her that.

Carlisle was the first in the family to approach Bella, with Esme by his side.

"Sorry about all of this. We tried to rein Alice in." Carlisle turned to me but I waved him off. It was more Bella's day then mine. After all I was already a vampire so my birthdays will just keep coming. At least I hope they do. It would be horrible if I find my mate and then end up dying soon after that. It'd be my luck to.

"As if that were even possible." Esme told Bella who snorted a laugh. I stayed where I was, peacefully leaning against Jasper.

"Happy Birthday, Bella." Esme said.

"Thanks." Bella, the ever emotional birthday receiver told Esme. Sometimes like these I don't understand Bella. They were doing all of this for her, and she was pouting in the corner. Maybe it's an old fashioned notion to like parties. Egyptians were known around the world for their parties, at the time. Since we drink wine for a daily drink our alcohol tolerance was massive as well so our parties lasted a long time. True, most of them were formal at the beginning. I laughed when Alice took a picture and Bella turned around to stare at her in exasperation.

"I found it in your bag. You mind?" Alice kind of took a few steps away.

"Get one of us!" I called, moving to stand beside Bella, smiling and wrapping my arms around Bella's waist. Alice snapped the picture and I hugged Bella fully. "Try to enjoy it." I told her before bouncing away to my Major to kiss him before I grabbed one of the presents. "Okay, Bella, you get to open my present!" I sang. "Wait, let me get the full experience." I turned human, smiling at her.

"What?" Bella stared at me, her eyes wide. "You already gave me a present, this morning." She held it up, on her middle finger of her right hand. It really was gorgeous. I wouldn't miss it though. Over time you get a lot of stuff. I happened to love rings, and I have a lot of them.

"Please, I'm the sister; I had to get you more than one present." I held it out to her. She made a fussy face and stared at it and the ring.

"At least take back the ring? It must have cost a fortune." Bella started to take it off but I stopped her with a hand on her wrist.

"Honestly Bella, don't ruin my fun." Then I sighed loudly. "I didn't pay anything for it. A tribe in Brazil gave me the stone once when I was down in South America. They liked me a lot so they gave me a rock they found that was really hard. They were primal back then and didn't know that it was a diamond." I told her, pointing at it. "But just because it's not expensive doesn't mean you need to lose it." She still looked cautious to open her next present. "This one is from Jasper to, so if you want you can see it as all his present." I told her.

She finally gave in, making a sound of defeat and I winked at Jasper for the help with Bella's emotions. He smiled back. Bella opened the present and inside was an original copy of _the _Shakespeare works. "You had best take good care of that thing. I only kept it through the years because the guy insisted they would be worth something." I wrinkled my nose.

"You _met _William Shakespeare?" Bella's eyes bugged out of her head but it only made me snort.

"Yes and the guy was horribly conceited." I looked into her eyes, winking again. "Stick with me. Any famous person, or any battle, and I've got a story to go with it." Now Alice popped up, snapping another picture before she pulled Rosalie into the mix. I noticed that Jasper was off to the side and I frowned at him. He just shook his head with a smile on his face. I stuck myself next to Bella, so when it became my turn to open presents I could go ahead and get it over with.

"Rose's turn." Alice said, handing Rosalie a box. She actually looked less violent towards Bella, that Rosalie. I guess she was starting to warm up to her a little bit. Not a lot. "Show me the love." I noticed that Edward was now standing beside Bella. They could at least try to smile and look at the camera, but no Edward has to look off to the side, and Bella has to look all insecure about herself. That's one thing I won't miss about human Bella. She needs more self-confidence. Maybe it's just an Egyptian thing again.

"This one's from Emmett." Alice said, handing Bella her next present. I pouted. Why does Alice get to hand out the gifts? I went to the gift table for my next present to give Bella. There were some presents for me to, but we had decided earlier that it was more of Bella's day so she would go first. I picked up Carlisle and Esme's and waited my turn. Bella took her time, shaking it.

"Already installed it in your truck with the help of Rosalie." Again Emmett got slapped over the head. It's like he never learns that man. I rolled my eyes at Rose and she gave me a small smile. She looked gorgeous today, like she does every day. I think today though I can say I look pretty good to. "Finally a decent sound system for the piece of…"

"Hey! Don't hate the truck." Bella interrupted, shaking her head. I brought Carlisle and Esme's present to Bella and smiled, giving it to her.

"This is Esme and Carlisle's." I told her, handing over the box.

"It's just a little something to brighten your day." Esme was against Carlisle. They made such a cute couple together. I really couldn't place what age Esme was for some reason. Probably because psychologically I couldn't place her, as if she was my mother. No one _really _thinks of their mother of being old.

"Yes, you've been looking kind of pale lately." Esme joked as Bella began removing the wrapper. Together we all watched her open the present and I waited anxiously. I knew what was in the present and I wasn't happy about it but it was Esme and Carli-

Then her finger slipped. I saw, felt, and smelled the blood come to the surface. Unlike last time it wasn't a high tense situation. I felt no temptation, besides the bare minimum since I am a vampire. Bella didn't realize the big no that she had just done. Paper cut. That's all she saw. Realization hit me, just as Edward looked up, and began to try and guard Bella. My head whipped around to Jasper, who had been across the room just in case this happened.

I could see it in his eyes, the bloodlust, and the hunger. Before I knew what I was doing, I was in between his path and Edward's. Again, I wasn't thinking ahead. I didn't think of the consequences. I'm beginning to believe it's a side effect of hanging around humans so long. All I thought of was how much Jasper would hate himself if he took Bella's life, of how much I'd never forgive him for it. I needed to protect both of them.

One moment I was on the ground, human, and the next I was busting through a window and then slamming into what I think, from the rough patches and the hardness of whatever broke my spine in three places, was a tree. I could feel bones snapping and muscles tearing, my skull cracking.

I screamed something awful, and tried to curl into a ball, but I couldn't. The snapping of my spin had paralyzed me. Something was happening. I was changing, forcefully. It had only happened a handful of times before and the results had been so disastrous that they still talk about the massacre today.

"Get Bella out!" I shouted, trying desperately to crawl away with my arms. My cells were burning, one by one and I screamed, every bone began slowly snapping into place, every burning, aching, hurting, cell in my body began to alter and with each one I could feel the fire of the change, when a vampire is reborn. It was nothing like the pain of my changing from human to vampire that I do daily. This was extremely, agonizingly slower. The bones had to make membrane; all of my functions had to speed up to accommodate my change to vampire, so that I could live. That was the only situation in which this inferno which incased me would be necessary, if death was imminent.

Then it stopped. The pain, ache really, was there in my bones, but the burn had transferred to my throat, as if my entire pain of turning had been transferred to just my throat.

.Thirsty.

And there was something in the vicinity that could change that.

My eyes popped open. I looked up but something was there, something that wouldn't let me drink. I snarled and kicked out, kicking whatever was there. I heard the crash and then there was someone else, large, trying to hold me down. I didn't let him; I scurried out from under him. Food. This food was protected. I needed to go somewhere else. I flashed away from the bright lights. Too much for my sensitive eyes. Nothing was following me. They must have just wanted the food.

Something was here. Not delicious, but familiar. I couldn't stand to wait longer. I felt like I had just come up from the ocean all over again. Deer. More Deer. Food, disgusting but durable.

I drank, and drank, and drank. First from the deer, the entire pack but it didn't help. I went on to find two mated cougars, then a fox, and then a mountain lion. Then another pack of deer. When I stopped I was full to the brim. My entire body was heavy.

But my mind was clear. I could remember. I was at Bella and I's birthday party. And then she'd gotten that paper cut that ruined everything. That stupid paper cut. Jasper hadn't been able to do anything. Then I remember dodging in front of Jasper, and then Edward had made it worse, trying to protect Bella. While I'd been turned, ready to catch Jasper he'd hit Bella back, crashing her into the glass vases with the roses in them and I'd turned to see it. In that time Jasper had smacked me out of the way and I'd gone through a window because I was only human. I'd only managed to get there in time because I was a sharp thinker.

Now here I was, in a red dress, stained from animal blood. At least it wasn't human blood, or worse Bella's blood. That idea….I couldn't take it as more information began to cycle through my processors I fell to my knees, clutching my head.

Jasper had realized he'd hit me. Then he'd actually gone away from Bella's scent to see if I was okay. He'd gotten hit for it. Then Emmett had tried to hold me down, realizing I was going after Bella. God, I was going to buy that man a monster truck when I got back.

Should I even go back? I was such a disgrace. I was an old vampire. I wasn't supposed to make mistakes like this. How old was I? Was I just a newborn? I acted like one. How can I show my face to Bella? She must be so scared of us now. I mean we tried to eat her. And the family, what must they think of me? This has only happened four times in the long amount of time that I even have been alive. Now I guess it's five.

On my knees, I heard it. Someone had found me. I took in a breath. What if it was Edward, coming to scowl me, or kill me for trying to kill his mate? I hopped up, started to run as fast as I could away from whoever was coming. Esme or Carlisle finding me would be just as bad. Sympathy is painful and I can't face them either. Emmett wouldn't understand and Rose is just….not going to run to catch me.

Running was harder. I'd drunk much to blood in my frenzy. I was now so full that it was slowing me down, and making me feel as if the blood would come back up my throat. It wouldn't though.

"Belle!" Oh no, it's worse. It's Jasper. I was already hyperventilating, and I didn't need this thing now. I couldn't talk to him. I was a horrible mess; I mean I was even covered in animal blood. What was I supposed to do? I was so confu-.

SLAM.

Jasper was faster than me. He was faster than me in the first place, ever since our first date. He caught me around the waist, and held me tight, causing a loud crack, not unlike that from the baseball games, which we'd stopped for a while now. I tried to get out of his grip.

"Let me go!" I yelled, kicking him in the shin. I didn't want to hurt him any more then I already had. It wasn't like it helped. He was a Major in the army, I'm almost positive that he's experienced worse.

"Belle!" Jasper shouted. I've never heard him shout. "Belle! Hold on!" Jasper grasped me tightly with one arm and I jerked when he dropped one hand and then grabbed something out of his pocket. "Belle!"

"Let me go. I don't belong on this earth!" I shouted, and then froze. There in front of me was an open box. With a ring.

Jasper cautiously let me go but this was unnecessary. I was speechless. It was beautiful, silver with golden wrapped around the diamond. But…what was it doing in my boyfriend's hand? And what was he doing? He was moving around from me and he stepped in front of me. I watched, slack mouthed as he fell to one knee.

"I-Before-" Jasper stumbled, something Jasper had never done before. He cleared his throat. "I know that I can't be trusted after…I had the ring. I had an entire thing planned out. We had the candles, and the roses set up at the cliff." Jasper looked at me. It was…a beautiful sight. "I really love you and I wanted to marry you. I know that after what just happened with Bella, you don't want to marry me but I thought that maybe you could think about it and I could put it out there-"

"I didn't say no." I blurted out. Jasper, my Jasper, my Major was _proposing _to me. How is this happening? How is this happening on the same day that I was about to eat my sister? He still wanted me after what I just did? God this man must love me. "It wasn't your fault. It was the paper's." I told him. He frowned and opened his mouth but I stopped him with a word.

"Yes." I told him and it was his turn to freeze. "If you still want to marry me, after what just happened with Bella, I'd love to marry you, Jasper Whitlock." Jasper did a sort of gasp laugh. It was like he didn't realize that I was saying yes.

"Yes?" Jasper asked, looking really closely in my eyes.

"Yes." I laughed. "Come on, put it on me. God it's gorgeous!" I said, and Jasper took it out of the box. I kept my breath in my lungs as the ring slipped on my finger. "How did you get my size?" I held it up. It sparkled just like our skin does. My skin was sparkling in a patch of light, and the really pretty diamond ring was blending in, like it was a part of me. Then I looked down at Jasper. He looked at me to, smiling so wide I thought for a moment it would crack his skin. Jasper completed me. He was so wonderful, and matched me.

"We're getting married." I breathed. Then I squealed and jumped. "I'm getting married!" I screamed. "Oh my God. I have to tell everyone. Oh," I deflated and turned to Jasper. "What about Charlie?" I asked, my eyes widening. "He won't understand. I'm only eighteen here!" I blurted. Jasper frowned.

"I asked Charlie, before I asked you." Jasper told me. I stared at him.

"How did you get him to say yes?" I asked, embracing Jasper. He chuckled. "I mean, he was scared that you were taking me away when you took me out on our first day."

"I simply told him and he went silent for a little while. His emotions weren't…happy but he understood. Finally he told me," Jasper moved his mouth, teasing me. "That if I could get the permission of your sister, mother, and could make you happy for the foreseeable future, then I could have you." Jasper put his forehead against mine. I leaned up, to kiss him.

"How did you get Renee's permission?" I wrinkled my nose.

"I called her, with Bella and she introduced me." Jasper told me and I hugged him close.

"You know we can't get married here, right?" I whispered. Jasper tensed. "I don't think the society would approve of it. Or Alice." I noted, frowning. "I don't want a big wedding and Alice will want one. I just want to marry you."

"Then run away with me?" Jasper asked and pulled back to look down at me.

"I can't just leave." I exasperatedly told him, moving my hands in the air. He responded by touching my chin and kissing me lightly.

"I meant let's go get married, right now. Alice won't have time to stop us." Jasper began to plan. "They do it all of the time in Vegas. Why can't we do it?" Jasper bent and picked me up, spinning me around. "Belle, marry me. That's all I want." He breathed, kissing me.

"Yes, yes." I told him, grabbing his hand. "Let's go, right now. Alice will be on us at any moment, and will follow with the rest of the big wedding brigade." Together we began running. I think it was with an unspoken agreement that we would run to Pheonix, which was a three hour drive from Forks. I don't know how long it took Jasper but about halfway through it Jasper and I's phone began to blow up with Alice's calls.

She'd seen what we were doing and probably disagreed with it massively. Once in Phoenix Jasper and I paid extra to get a ticket straight to Vegas. I wasn't all roses, don't think I am. I was still upset about what happened with Bella, but the longer I put it off the less pain I would feel. Jasper wouldn't let me hold off forever.

Once we were on the plan, with almost no one on it because of the special fees, he stared me down. I tried to find some kind of distraction, playing with the controls, even fiddling with the chair.

"Belle, you have to talk about it." Jasper whispered to me. I looked at him.

"Can't I avoid it just a little bit longer?" I pleaded. Jasper took my hand with his and kissed my forehead.

"The longer you wait the more painful it would be." Jasper whispered. I gulped. It was night outside now and I was by the window. The plane had just left maybe ten minutes ago. I wasn't a fan of the planes, but I didn't have a real choice. I was wrong though, about the saying apparently the longer I wait the more painful it would be, or so Jasper here says.

"What's there to talk about? I stopped you and we'll be okay now." I told him, not looking him in the face.

"Belle, talk to me." Jasper put his head on my shoulder in comfort.

I was silent for a moment. I didn't want my emotions to run wild. I couldn't let loose like that. I've never done it before, been completely honest with someone. But my instincts were on a high and I did love Jasper so the filter broke and I told my love.

"I've only ever had that happen four times before. They were always after some kind of battle or whenever I get hurt. It's so painful, like the change when a vampire is first bitten but accelerated. It's my body's natural defense, when I'm human. Whenever I've gotten damaged, maybe a bomb was planted in a plane I was on, or something, it would kick in. It's only ever when there is no other way that I could survive." I took a breath. "What makes me ashamed is…When I changed I wanted to drink Bella's blood. It was such a thirst that had all the vampires not been there I would have drunk her dry." I turned to look at Jasper.

"I'm sorry, for throwing you." He kissed my knuckles. My breath caught as our eyes locked together, his lips still brushing my knuckles as he spoke. "I swear I didn't mean to. I'm sorry about Bella to. Edward said…that he doesn't blame me, and that she'll be fine. She just needs a few stitches in her arm from where she smashed into the roses." He pulled me close, tugging the seat handle up. I didn't know that they had that in airplanes. I wiggled close to him now. We'd been able to take our seatbelts off after five minutes in the air. There was no one in our sector, because we were first class, on an already expensive airplane.

His chest was just as cold as I thought it would be, hard and vampire-ish. But it felt comforting, and muscular. For a second my lust flared even with everything else going on Jasper still managed to grab my attention and keep it. This man was everything I could want in life, everything I needed.

"It wasn't your fault, Jasper. You are a vampire, I'm a vampire. Let's just…" I sighed, trying to say the words, and mean them. "Let's put it behind us. Bella won't be scared of us, especially if she wasn't scared off when James bit her. After we get married, we'll go back and talk to Bella, maybe get a house, close to the family and we can have our honeymoon when Alice lets us go. God knows what she's going to do about all of this." I grinned and Jasper chuckled.

"Probably keep us locked in the basement." Jasper grinned to.

"You have a basement?" I wondered. What could possibly be down there? "Do you actually have dungeons down there?" I looked at Jasper and couldn't keep a straight face. The kind of visuals that the idea left in my mind were preposterous. I could just picture Jasper in a knight's suit interrogating someone in the basement of the Cullen house. Hmmmmm…..

"No, we don't have a basement." Jasper laughed when I huffed. He'd ruined all of my mental images. "Why don't you get some sleep." Jasper offered, eyeing me. I rolled my eyes.

"Honestly, I keep telling you people that I'm not going to just pass out again. It was a one-time thing. It was just a fluke, and humans don't sleep this much anyways." I grumbled under my breath, but I obliged him, leaning my chair back and pulling out a provided blanket.

**I know. It took me a while to get this one out. Truly I was just trying to put some space between my updates to drag this out. When I said the eclipse version for this story was going to be a long time coming, I meant it. I'm just trying to make sure that this isn't **_**too **_**short. Though I'd like to fluff it out some more, maybe go back and add some stuff to Belle's version of Jacob, I just can't see that happening. I mean Belle already knows that Jasper is the one for her, and even if she didn't it doesn't matter. She knows about imprinting, and she knows that someone didn't. She wouldn't be like Bella and break her own heart that way. **

**I digress. **

**So I hope you liked it.**

**This had a lot behind it. This is the **_**ENTIRE **_**reason that I started this series. Had I wanted I would have just skipped through the whole twilight movie. But then I would have had to scrunch a whole lot of background into the story that you would need to know. I'd have had to explain her power, her past with Bella, Victoria, her and Jasper's relationship, and everything you can think of. But the reason I like this scene, the one where Belle is forcefully changed is because it all started with a dream. I woke up and I just let it spiral out of control from there.**

**Merry Christmas by the way!**


	4. A Marriage

There were a lot of wedding places in Los Vegas. I don't mean chapels, but real wedding places that sell wedding dresses, and all the accessories. And the dresses came in all sizes, for those about to spontaneously elope. Ours was spontaneous and would it be classified as elopement? Hmmmm….. None of these dresses seemed to fit me. They were all white. Didn't they have a splash of color on them at all? Nothing seemed to stand out.

Jasper was getting the rings, and everything we would need. My engagement ring came with a marriage ring to add to it. Jasper was getting his own ring, as I'd insisted on it. It was his ring, so shouldn't he get to pick it out? I couldn't believe that I was getting married again. After my first marriage, I didn't think I'd get married again, or even _want _to get married. Of course I didn't think about it that often. Sometimes when I walked places and saw all of these happy couples, it made me want that to. I'm sure that's not just me though.

I've wanted a man before. I'm not some perfect angel, just because I was a Pharaoh once. I lived with humans, and I got swept away with so many of their things. Electronics, or music, or even society in a whole was always advancing and they were something that I enjoyed a lot. I wasn't innocent, I'd had flings through the years, but the first few were just so that I could finally get out from my husband's thumb. He might have been dead, but his fingerprints were all over me. Sometimes I could still feel him on me, but that's far and in between.

"Excuse me, Miss?" I turned to a women, blue fancy dress with blonde hair. "Can I help you with anything?" She asked of me. I let go of the dress that I had been looking at. It wasn't good looking, at all.

"I'm looking for a dress, with just a splash of color, red maybe?" I asked her. That would be pretty, and symbolic. White, for bride, and for vampire. The red not just for already being violated, but because in my veins, can flow blood. I was human, and vampire.

"I think we have something like that." She nodded. "Just wait here; I'll go see if I can find something." I watched it go and pursed my lips, eyeing the jewelry. I didn't want to wear any more jewelry then I had to. The ring would be flashy, but I loved it like that. I think the bracelet would be enough, on the hand opposite of the one with my ring. A necklace would be too much for it. Then I realized, I'd need a camera, and a garter. They had some, off to the side. There were so many choices in just the garter alone.

I picked up a red one and grinned. I put it in my basket, which you picked up at the door. I'd put my hair up before the wedding. I didn't need much to do it, just some clips and bands. They were easy to find, in a different shop in the mall. I still couldn't believe they have a wedding section in this mall. Was it so usual for people to do this?

"Ma'am?" I turned back to the women, and there she was, standing with two dresses. One was White, with a red bow under the bosom, and it fell in strips off to the ground. I liked it, but I loved the one she had in her other hand. It was white, and pure, with a red sash around it right under the bust. It tied in the back and fell in thick strips. And on the top, there were gold tiny little crystals that glinted when the light was touching them.

"It's gorgeous." I muttered, stepping forward, going to touch it but she moved it back a little. I looked at her funny.

"I'm sorry, it's a little expensive. It's-" I stopped her.

"I'll take it." I told her, flashing my platinum visa. "I assure you that I have the money." I told her, smiling. "Let's just go get it fitted." I walked away as she took the card. On the way to the dressing rooms, I stopped at the shoes. I didn't want to think about it too long so I got tall heels with straps of silver with gold on it, but a splash of a white brand designer's name on it. It was my wedding, to my mate. I was going to splurge my heart out.

"I'm getting married." I muttered to myself. I want to remember all of this, which is likely seeing as I was a vampire and my mind is practically photographic, give or take a few memories. I was so happy. I picked out a tux for Jasper as well. I may not be having a full out wedding, but I wanted Jasper to feel comfortable, and look good, in what he was wearing. Plus, I wanted to keep these clothes so that we could wear them latter, if we ever got married again. It was a possibility, seeing as we mainstream.

When I arrived at the dressing room the woman was suddenly much happier to help me, with a lot of assistants working with her. She probably knew that if I was here in Vegas and buying all of these things that I was going to need it today. And I was because while we have time, there was no way that Alice wouldn't take the time to come and disrupt the wedding if we waited.

I left a message on Charlie's machine, telling him where I was, and what I was doing. He'd sent me a text message, telling me that he was proud of me; though he was glad he wouldn't have to wear a tux. Charlie understood. His marriage had been shot gun, but he'd loved Renee while he had her. I didn't talk to Renee, when she called me once. I knew what she wanted, to know what I said to Jasper. I didn't like her, and I regretted that Charlie married her.

The dress fit. It had to be taken out, as my top half was a little heavier than the last one who wore this dress. Hemming it had been a problem, as I was a short person. It took an hour and a half, but I was sure Jasper didn't mind, because as I remembered he told me he was going to take most of the day, so they could make the ring for him. When it was finished I paid for my things, and the women gave me her card, if I ever got married again. I had rolled my eyes and almost thrown it out. I had a feeling that I might want to keep it yet.

Then I went to the best electronics store I could find, and bought the best camera they had, enthralling the entirety of the male employees so that I could make sure to get the best. Even if we did get married again, this was our first and I wanted to have a lot of pictures.

I didn't know what to do after that. The flowers were supposed to be provided, and the witness. If they didn't supply the witness then I would grab someone off the streets and pay them to do it. For now I went shopping for something else…special. I figured that we would have a honeymoon after. It was a common practice, though it had changed since I was married. In our day it was a show of complete submission to our husbands. Now it was much funnier, and not humiliating. I grabbed something to wear, some underthings, and then I headed out.

I was done. I rang Jasper, ignoring the missed calls from everyone. I didn't want to think about what was going to hit me when I got home. I don't know if Alice had told them that Jasper and I were getting married, or maybe they were just wandering where I'd gone, and where I'd taken Jasper but I wanted to enjoy this while I had it.

"Jasper these all look really cliché." I pouted. We were in a taxi, with tinted windows. It had taken all night for us to get to Vegas, and it had been night when we'd started out of the airport to. Now it was bright outside and we hadn't been able to do anything about it besides getting a taxi with tinted windows, and pray that we could walk really fast without the humans getting suspicious. Now if we could only find a chapel without something awful on it.

"That one has a drive thru." Jasper pointed at it. I reached over and slapped his shoulder.

"Nice, Jasper." I teased. "Really feeling the love." I rolled my eyes skyward, missing his grab for me. I squealed as he kissed all over my neck and face. "Okay, I get it, you love me." I made him release me and I moved to the other side, watching him for a sign of him grabbing me again. When he innocently looked out the window I pointed at him in warning. It wasn't long before I was looking out for a chapel again.

There just didn't seem to be one that I liked enough to say my vows in.

"Why would anyone want to get married as a pirate?" I asked, and then turned raising my eyebrows. "Or a clown?" I asked. Then I saw it. The perfect, or as perfect as Vegas can get, little chapel. It was nice, with a little brown homey look to it. This one actually had grass to it, and there was a dome behind it, probably for none outside, but looks outside services. "Can you pull off over there?" I asked the taxi driver, pointing to the one I wanted.

"Yes, ma'am." He said, going through the heavy traffic for me. We'd stopped only two other times, but I'd hated each one of the chapels because they'd all had some kind of overly clichéd theme. We were safe from Alice, though she hadn't stopped calling. After the five hundredth call, Jasper and I shut off our phones. I think he felt a little guilty about running away because I knew he was close to Alice. But when I mentioned that he might feel guilty he'd just looked at me and I'd melted away from any doubts.

Together Jasper and I got out of the taxi, asking him to wait, promising there would be money in it for him. (Luckily for us there was an overhang that kept us shielded from sunlight.) I even flashed my card, so he'd know we had enough money to live up to it. If someone tried to rob us, because they saw it to, they'd get a rude awakening so I wasn't worried about that fact. And I don't mean just from me. I'm sure Jasper wouldn't take to kindly to me being robbed either.

The place was perfect, with a cabin like look to it. It wasn't my ideal wedding, but I liked it. The front office had pictures of past weddings, ones that didn't have drunk people in it. They had packages, and all kinds of crazy things, but you could also just have your wedding done here.

"Can I help you?" A man behind the counter asked Jasper and I.

"We'd like to get married. We have all of the necessities." Jasper said. He held the tux, which I'd already picked out after the camera, and the bags of stuff I'd bought. I held my dress bag with one hand, and the shoes in the other. Our 'luggage' which we'd bought together before we'd split, were in the taxi.

"Which package would you like?" He asked, going to an old looking book.

"We'd just like a normal wedding, with a witness, and we brought our own camera we would like to use." I told him. He nodded and wrote it down.

"Your names, birth certificate, and blood tests?" He asked. I waited as Jasper opened a folder containing just what he asked for. Jasper really had thought of everything. He'd called it into someone he knew over the phone, Jenkins something and they'd appeared here, waiting at the airport. I'd been impressed by it to. "Thank you."

Jasper was all business. He just was, because I think that he's afraid to let people in or even show them who he is. It might be because he thinks something stupid, like they won't like him if they see him. Silly Jasper. Sometimes I just think that Jasper's an enigma with so many layers that I fancy he doesn't let anyone in on the inside so he doesn't get hurt. It's something that is natural, and I can't say that I don't do it. But that's why I'm here. I'm here to make sure that Jasper is happy, and loved. I'm here to get inside all of those layers of protection to make my Major see that people can love him, that I loved him.

I stepped up to Jasper, gently weaving my fingers with his and when he looked down at me with questioning, but ever loving eyes, I stood on my tip-toes and gave him a lingering kiss. Jasper's kisses were always so mind-numbing. I couldn't think of anything other than him whenever his lips collided with mine. "I love you." I muttered against his lips. I was human for now, but I was determined that we would get some good pictures of me as a vampire as well. It would be great to have some for my human friends, and some for Jasper and his family. I'd maybe make a scrapbook out of all the pictures. I'm not sure yet. I figure I have a long time to do something with them, so why not go ahead and put it off for now.

"I love you as well." Jasper replied, bending down to kiss me again. My breath lodged in my lungs as his cool lips found their place on my own. He was so loving, and yet so reserved, like a true military man. The old man let us have our moment, seeing as he was finished checking the authenticity of our documents. Whoever this Jenkins was must have a good knack because we had passed all of the tests.

"Would you like to decide which venue you would like?" He asked us after I directed my attention to him. He actually looked like a happy man, like he enjoyed his work here. I looked up at the pictures, frowning. There were some cheesy shots, but there were also some good ones. For that I was glad. I didn't want Jasper's beautiful, and handsome-ness to be ruined by some kind of cheesy shot.

"What do you wanna do Jasper?" I asked, turning to my fiancé and half smiled up at him. I was so short, I noticed again. I think the last time I had noticed was on that first date. Jasper chuckled and his smile quirked as he looked at me. His golden eyes sucked me in and I lost my thoughts as I stared into them. God, the things this man did to me. I had to look away and glance at the old man.

"As long as I get to marry you…" Jasper started and I turned my eyes on him, almost glaring at his answer. I knew he could see my warning, and feel my little tingle of frustration. He chuckled, pecking me again, and my eyes glazed over a bit at his lips, before turning to the pictures that the people here had set up over the counter. He took a good few minutes, in which I was watching him, getting more and more anxious to see what he would pick. "Is that one okay?" Jasper asked me, pointing to the outside view. I knew why he'd picked it. It was what seemed to be an open field, with slightly made of wood chairs. It looked really nice, and you could barely tell that it was in fact inside.

"I love it." I kissed him on the cheek, grinning.

"Okay, we have an opening now, would you like to go ahead and get into your dress while we get our venue set up?" The old man gathered all of the paper work, and then put some papers on the counter with a pen. "I just need both of you to sign this please." I let Jasper put his signature on it first, taking this one chance to look at his rear area. Even now I couldn't get enough of this man, and I wouldn't have to try. Jasper was mine forever, whether he realized it or not. I'm a possessive person and I don't let go of what I like that easily. Before Jasper stepped back, while the old man's back was turned I took the chance to smack the special area, just for fun.

Jasper's head turned around in surprise and he grinned slowly, suggestively, stepping back to let me take my turn. I was cautious, waiting on revenge, but I couldn't sign the paper without looking, and that's how he got me. He waited until I was signing the paper and putting the pen back down before he kissed my neck, giving a light caress and then pat to my back side. I jumped, unlike him who had not. I pouted at him slightly and he smiled smugly, kissing me lovingly on my temple. My mouth stretched into a smile of bliss.

I knew what would be going down soon and well…I wasn't a horny teenager really but I might as well be. Jasper was all I ever wanted, and he didn't lack in any department of loveliness if you could call it that.

"Is this all of it?" I asked the old man, referring to what I had to do. "What's your name, by the way?" I curiously wondered.

"My name is Jack Northman." He tipped his head in acknowledgement of me. "It's a pleasure to meet such young people so in love." He turned to lead me to the changing room, unaware of what he had just said and why it was so funny. I pouted again and met Jasper's teasing eyes.

"Don't you say a word Major." I warned Jasper, anticipating the age jibe coming. "I'll be back." I told him, giving him a lingering kiss on the mouth. I held in a sigh of pleasure just barely. Soon the whole world would know that this man was mine.

"I'll be waiting at the aisle." Jasper muttered, kissing me back before releasing me. I took my dress bag, and the things that I would need to get ready and followed after Mr. Jack Northman who was waiting at the door. The farther away from Jasper I got the more nervous that I became. What if something went wrong? What if my father or Bella or Edward came in here and told me not to marry him? Or what if Alice came and decided that I was going to have to get a big wedding?

I don't know if I'd like a big wedding. All I want is to have some kind of physical claim on the man of my dreams.

Bella doesn't like weddings though, so she may not understand. Since she was little she's hated the idea of marriage. I have a feeling it's all because of Renee and Charlie's failed marriage. But what if she didn't love me anymore because I decided to do this? She probably didn't love me anyways, because I'd tried to bite her.

A woman, probably the man's own wife helped me get into my dress. I enjoyed her giddy expression when she'd seen it, since this dress had called for a good few thousand dollars out of my bank account. Not that it _really _mattered but that meant it was a very good person who designed it, or I overpaid. Oh well. I have more money than I can spend. When I was finally in the dress I realized sitting was a no. So I put my hair up while I was standing in front of the full length mirror. I didn't have to do much with it, only gather it all up and twist it, pinning it up that way. The curls did the rest of the hairstyle. It was the one good thing about curly hair.

"Is everything ready?" I asked the girl. She grinned.

"I'll go see. You just stay here for a little while and let me see." Lila walked away. That's what she'd explained to me her name was when I asked for it. It was a nice name for a girl. Looking in the mirror I couldn't help but wonder what I was getting in to. I was marrying someone again. I know that Jasper will be better than Amenhotep but that didn't make it less scary to think that I was giving myself to someone who could crush it. I couldn't turn back now; I already loved Jasper with all of my heart. All I was doing here was making sure the entire world knew that Jasper Hale, technically they didn't know that his name was Whitlock, you understand, was all mine.

"Miss?" I turned and there was the woman. She was nearly glowing with happiness.

"Your old man is out there. Everything is ready for you now. Are you ready?" She asked me, hurrying over and fluffing the dresses underskirts. I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. "He's really nervous, that man of yours. And I have to tell you, don't tell my husband, but you've got quite a looker out there."

I snorted and laughed in surprise as the woman grinned crookedly.

"You don't have to tell me, Lila." I told her. "I'm just trying to make sure that every girl or woman in the vicinity knows that Jasper is all mine." Lila giggled with me and I felt so young and free, even if there were 'shadows' in the room. I've already agreed with myself that I'd deal with my problems tomorrow because tonight was all about me and Jasper.

"Okay, what do I do?" I asked her, following her through the door, picking up the slight trail so that the dress wouldn't get dirty between here and the aisle.

"You just walk down here, to the right and you'll be out there and ready to marry that nice young man." Lila said, following behind me making all kinds of adjustments. "Our son will be taking the pictures, don't worry he's a very good photographer." I dropped my layers of dressing as I got to the right turn.

"Thank you, so much for doing this for us." I told her, straightening out what I needed to of the dress. Deep breathes Belle, deep breathes. Then I walked out.

It was a nice picture, something I would remember for a long time. Not the scenery. I'd been trying to look positive, but Jasper made the picture all better. He wore a black tux, all of it simple with a white button up under it, no tie, no formalities. He had on cowboy boots with a black shine to them, but nothing overly fancy about him, because Jasper was all he needed to be for me to love him. I couldn't possibly see him as anything better than what he already is, because to me he would always be perfection.

He stood where a groom typically stood, with a preacher, or was he an officializer, standing underneath an arc that was probably plastic, but there were decent fake roses tied into the arc to make it look better. The witness was the old man and the woman. I didn't mind that they were the witness'. They were good people and as much as I wanted Bella here I didn't need her here, because Jasper was here.

He looked stunning, but also stunned. My dress must have been a great one because his eyes were on me and I could feel the undercurrent of so many emotions in the room, including a strong current of love. I could never doubt this man's love for me and be in the same room. He always made sure that I felt his love for him, that I knew he loved me.

I reached Jasper, and took his hand. I didn't care what the old man was saying, and I barely remembered the vows he had me speak, because I was so in love with Jasper at this moment that it must have radiated through my whole body.

What I did remember were the simple words that brought Jasper and I together.

"I do."

"You may kiss your bride." And then Jasper swept me away into a world where it was him and me kissing, and then kissing in a hotel room, and then not just kissing but making love and I couldn't think of anywhere I wanted to be more then with Jasper in this moment in time. And the Future, and really any moment in time.

**I took a brief look over this, and fluffed a few corners but really I think I've just decided to leave it all like it is. So far I'm a little frustrated with what I have for my Eclipse story because it's not working out at all. I put an emotional scene that affects the story line, to early because I thought a certain scene was coming up. I don't know if I can fix it or not…**

**Anyways. I hope you guys loved this chapter. I'm not married, and have never been so I didn't want to flesh out the actual ceremony and make it horrible. I thought it was a nice little romantic think that I had going on there. **


	5. A Liesmith

Something's are foreshadowed, something's are just not told. But the night I spent with Jasper, I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. He was a gentleman, and he loved me. That's the only way I could explain to anyone about that night, or any night I was with Jasper. He loved me and he loved me with his whole heart. Or so I thought.

Now it was over though. I didn't have any more time that I could stay in that room that smelled of the chocolates of past romances. I had to get back to reality, to face the world. I didn't have to do it alone any more though. Jasper was by my side, and I couldn't even manage to tell you how simply magnificent it felt to know that he would always be there, and that everything about me was for him, and him for me.

We'd just got back to Forks, with the car having passed the welcome to Forks sign two minutes ago. For now Jasper was going to be looking for a home, while I packed up my things. We were going to get a home by ourselves for a little while, maybe even go visit the Denali clan for a little while, but I had to make up with Bella now. Charlie would understand, now that I was married to Jasper. I still didn't quite believe that part. I mean since when was Charlie that understanding?

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" I asked Jasper. He was driving a rental car, one that he would turn into the local rent a center later. Jasper glanced at me and smiled. I was holding his hand, leaning against his shoulder happily. Everything was almost perfect. Now I just had to go make up for what happened then it would be perfect. Everything needed to be perfect because Jasper deserved unadulterated happiness after having managed to do all of this for me.

It still blew my mind that I was married, mated, that I even had someone who could love me so whole heartedly like Jasper did. He was always there, be it silent and caring or just comforting. No one knew this but Jasper really did like to talk, he just didn't like to do it often. Everyone expected him to sit in the background and say nothing, so he did. It burned me up inside that I was one of the few who actually looked at him and expected something out of him. I could see all of these people always watching him, waiting for him to screw up.

Sure he had with the birthday party but I still maintain that wasn't his fault. I mean how many of us vampires had been in that room? He didn't have a chance with that kind of bloodlust, especially since Edward was her singer. Plus, they shouldn't judge him harshly. None of them understood how hard it was to go from straight human blood, whenever you wanted it, to animal blood. It was like losing a part of you that was instinctual, and gaining some humanity. It never tasted enough until you were like me, and forgot the taste of humans.

"She will." Jasper leaned his head against my own. I'd almost forgot the question but the feel of Jasper's head leaning on me made me warm inside with love. I felt his breathy chuckle as he squeezed our interlocked hands, hesitantly. Huh, I wonder what that was about. "As much as you do for her, I can say that she loves you enough to let this go." He squeezed my hand again as we turned on my street. It wouldn't be my street soon. As soon as we could find a house we like Jasper and I could have our own house. I mean technically we were 'eighteen' if you like to think of it like that and could do it legally, so what was the deal. How old was Jasper again when he was turned? Nineteen wasn't he? I can't remember what he was playing as now anymore. I could barely remember what age I was playing. It was even harder to remember the vampire age.

I was always changing. How could I be suspected to remember that? It was just like instinct now to turn to my vampire age that I didn't think anything of it. I glanced over at Jasper. He looked magnificent, with his beautiful hair and his perfectly golden eyes. He'd hunted right before he come to find me, or when he was coming to find me if you will, so that we could leave.

"She'll love for you to come as well Jasper." I told him as he pulled in to the drive. Jasper looked kind of cautious and he wouldn't look at me. It made my eyebrows furrow in curiosity that I'm sure he could feel. Stupid empathy. My lips quirked at that thought. "You should come in so she can see you are alright." I told him. He chuckled.

"I think I'll go face my own demons." Jasper mentioned his own family. I glanced at the time timidly. Bella's truck was outside raggedy and nasty, but there was no Bella running out to greet me. Was that a bad sign?

"Alright, fine then. Make sure to tell them I'm okay." I told him, leaning up so that I could kiss him passionately. His ice cream lips were just so talented, and tasty, as they moved against mine that I nearly faltered. All I really wanted to do was jump him right here and now, but I couldn't do that. I had to face my troubles eventually, and now seemed the best time. So I sighed, pecking his lips once more before climbing out of the car and waving Jasper away.

When he was gone and I couldn't see him any more I took a glance at the beautiful wedding rings on my finger, before using the spare key that Charlie kept on top of the drain pipe and walked inside. It was like nothing had changed, but I felt so different, so alive and happy and excited. Charlie was at the station probably and Bella should be here, but it didn't seem as she was. What was going on?

I cautiously walked up the steps, frowning when Bella wasn't in her room, and yet I could smell Edward's fresh scent all over the place. Bella's scrapbook was on her bed, and I saw a picture of Bella and I had been split. Was that her doing? Or Edward's. I couldn't really tell so I gave up and decided that she must have gone to Edward's in his Volvo.

Going in to my room and gathering my suitcase, I began to pack my things. Every bit of clothing, and pictures. I wanted to remember this place for a long time. I didn't want to be late if Jasper found one quickly, which really isn't out of the question considering a lot of people jumped at our beck and call. "Our" being vampires of course. Sometimes I felt sorry for using our looks, or anything to lure people into doing what we want but then I remember that they would do the same should they be given this gift instead of us.

I packed everything I could find, but I was human, just in case Charlie came home, and it took longer than it should have taken. I also had to find my things that had mysteriously migrated to Bella's room. In one case some of my DVDs had ended up in the DVD rack, instead of in my bookcase like they were supposed to. I must have bought more clothes then I thought when I moved here to Forks because now it took three suitcases to fill. I kept the camera, the one with our wedding pictures, out though. I wanted to maybe stop by and get then developed. I knew I could print them off in Bella's room, with her printer but I paused at the thought of it. I didn't want to use it without her permission. That thing took up a lot of ink.

I was sitting on the last suitcase, a blue old thing that was made of plastic that was in the very back of the hall closet, when Jasper jumped up to my window, scaring me so much that I startled, causing the suitcase under me to rock off the bed, and me, and the camera, to go with it. I stayed on the floor for a second, whining and clutching my knees, which had taken the brunt of the impact.

In a second the window's lock had been broken and Jasper was by my side but something was different. He wasn't as happy as he was when I last seen him. He was practically spewing emotions that were so chaotic that even though my knees were only a dull ache, I couldn't get up off the floor.

"Jasper!" I gasped, clutching tightly to my pants. He blinked once and the emotions were gone and I let out deep breaths. "What is it? What's wrong?" I asked him, getting up, trying to collect the clothes off of the floor. "Could you not get a house?" I looked up to him. His eyes were so intense and emotional that I dropped the clothes and kicked the suitcase away, really concerned now. I'd thought it had only been something that he was afraid to tell me but it seemed like it was serious. Jasper seemed so worried, and anxious about something his eyes were near black again and they were darting around the room wildly. "Jasper-"

"They're gone." Jasper said his eyes widening and then he used super speed to sit me down on the bed and to kneel in front of me. "The Cullen's are all gone, except for Edward." He told me. My eyes widened.

"Well, where did they go? We can go get them, or follow them. They didn't leave a note, that's not like them." I smiled. I was a little relieved because with the way that Jasper was acting I'd thought someone had been injured. I know it was a weird thing to think, what with us being vampires but it happens. "Why are you acting so worried?" When Jasper didn't smile back my smile faded, slowly. "What's going on?" I deliberately said.

"Belle…Edward is leaving Bella." Jasper told me. Automatically my eyes dilated, and my muscles tensed. Leaving? They left each other every day for at least a little bit. It took a minute for my happy fogged brain understood what he meant. Edward was _leaving _Bella. I knew it had been in his brain ever since what happened with James but I didn't think he'd be so _stupid _as to actually do it.

"What?" I hissed, clenching my fists tight, my own eyes spinning around wildly, incapable of looking at Jasper. I knew my anger wasn't really helping his own emotions but for the life of me I couldn't calm down. "Is he insane? That's going to kill her!" I growled, a pale imitation to what it would be had I been a vampire. It didn't matter right now because my anger was burning in my stomach and I was ready to rip Edward to shreds. Was he doing it right now? Is that why everyone is gone? What did he mean they were all gone? He only meant to like Seattle or something right?

"Belle, we are all leaving." Jasper stated bluntly, slowly so as it could get through my head. My eyes bulged and my brain stumbled to a halt as I forced myself to look in his eyes. He was so tense, I could see his back curled, ready to jump up and leave. My breath caught at the look in Jasper's eyes, desperate.

"When you say we…." I left the question open. He'd know what I wanted to know. My senses were going crazy as I looked into Jasper's eyes but he couldn't meet mine anymore. This could not be happening, not now. I didn't want to hear this, all though I knew what was happening my heart was already closing off, my emotions becoming numb.

"Belle, before we left…to get married I…Edward is making the family leave. He thinks it's better for Bella if we leave and…I agree." Jasper faltered, his words stumbling over each other, as if he couldn't figure out how to tell me this. My brain wouldn't function so he really shouldn't have worried. What is happening? I was so happy, only seconds ago. I'd just gotten married…to a man who was already planning to make me leave my sister! The anger came back tenfold. What was this?

"You….Did you marry me so that I'd leave my sister?" I asked, my voice breathless, my heart refusing to move blood through my body. I couldn't tell whether I was sad or angry. Jasper moved forward and took me by the upper arm, tightly. Not enough to hurt but it made my roaming eyes look at him.

"No, no Belle, I already had the ring, I was going to propose. It's…I just thought that maybe if we were married first that you might want to leave with-" I broke him off, slapping his hands away from me.

"I can't believe this." I stood up, beginning to pace, running my fingers through my hair in frustrated anger and sadness. I was practically a bundle of hormones. Without my instructions my hands began clenching my hair, as if they wanted to rip it all out of my scalp and I was half worried that I would. "You've known this whole time and you're warning me now? Are you serious? Jasper, this is…How _could_ you? And what do you _mean _you agree with him?" On the last question I turned to him, my anger and betrayal spiking so much that Jasper physically took a step back wincing. I couldn't find it in me to regret it. This…this betrayal was too much for me to bare.

"Belle, she's only going to get hurt if we stay here. You've seen what happens when we get too close to humans. Just at yours and her birthday party you and I attacked her." Jasper argued, taking a step closer but I only took one back. I had the fleeting thought that it really hadn't been my own birthday party, seeing as I'd gotten to open, or keep, none of my presents except Jasper's bracelet. It seemed so stupid to think about, now of all times. My world was crashing and all I could think about was not getting to open my own presents. "Belle, she's human, and you've admitted to me that you didn't want her turned. If we stay here, then she will only get hurt, and at some point bitten." My breath came fast and I couldn't look at my husband.

My _husband. _

That thought had just minutes ago been a happy thought but now I winced with the feeling of infidelity. How could he _do _this to me? And here I'd been so happy because he loved me so whole heartedly.

"Well, you can leave…I can stay and take care of Bella. We can leave her happy, not feeling like she's worthless! I don't need to leave her. My gift-" I was interrupted from my half hysterical rambling. I was pacing, trying to think of something to do, something better then this. Bella herself didn't deserve this. I can't believe this. He was asking me to leave my _sister _for Aten's sake! He was asking me to leave the one person who had actually felt like family to me, before the Cullens. Now the Cullens didn't even feel like family.

"It's an illusion, Belle!" Jasper harshly argued. "She'll know that you are a vampire, she'll want you to turn her, and she'll keep begging until she gets tired of begging. What do you think will happen to you when she _does _move on? She'll get tired of begging one day and _hate _you. How will you deal with that?" I flinched back at his harsh words. Why was he saying this to me? Did he honestly think this was helping at all. I turned to him and he looked desperate, but I could see my own anger reflected in the corners of his eyes.

"Bella, doesn't need this either!" I yelled. "She needs me!" I almost pleaded with him. I didn't want to hear what I knew was going to come out of his mouth.

"No she doesn't!" Jasper shouted back and I flinched again. Jasper had never yelled before. I gritted my teeth. This man, the love of my life, was not going to run all over me. I didn't care how much I loved him. I would not allow any man to run over me again. Not after my husband…not after what he did to me. It seemed no matter how long it had been since I'd seen Amenhotep, I would always have this hatred, and these memories.

"I'll be damned to Set before I let her be left here with no one!" I told him strongly, turning away from him and then back again. "And you can take your damn," I pulled off the wedding rings, that I had only yesterday gotten and flung them at his head. He caught them, stupid vampire. I ignored his agonized, surprised, and still angry face. "Ring back because I sure as hell don't want it." I kicked my suitcase that still kept its place on the floor and began walking out of my room and down the stairs. Jasper followed me determined.

"Belle, let's calm down and talk about this." Jasper ordered, monitoring my emotions and my shoulders sank for a moment when he shot me with some calm emotions. But they felt foreign and for once they were unwanted. I shook it off forcefully and ignored the emotion instead I turned on him at the bottom of the stairs. He haulted from where he'd been coming down right behind me.

"Talk about what, Major? Jasper? Whitlock?" I dug my finger into his chest, knowing it wouldn't hurt him but too angry to change right now without tearing this place apart. "The fact that I just married someone yesterday? That he took everything I had to give, and then asked for the one thing that I feared?" I asked him, turning and going the rest of the way down the stairs, opening the door with all of my pent up anger, only for it to almost hit me. I kicked it and headed outside.

"Where are you going?" Jasper demanded, grabbing my arm. I hadn't even noticed that he'd followed me out. I tried to tug my arm out of his grip but as a human I was fighting a losing battle. I could only be glad that no one was here to see this, not even the neighbors.

"To find my sister!" I shouted.

"She isn't your sister!" Jasper yelled back. I stopped, stunned. Staring at him I couldn't breathe. I was speechless; everything was swirling before my eyes and spiraling downward. To think, Jasper had just said that to me, to think the man that I _loved _had said that to me. As if my heart wasn't hurting enough. Now I felt it squeezing so painfully I swear it could have broken in half.

"You." I gapped. Jasper's eyes widened as he realized what he had done, and he felt my emotions.

"Belle, I-" Without thinking I changed into a vampire and reared back, slapping Jasper in the cheek so hard that he slammed into a tree across the yard. I could only be glad that the humans didn't come running out of their houses.

"You better leave. I don't want to see your _face _again, Jasper Whitlock." I sneered, flashing over to stand over him. "You're just as bad as my other _husband._" I growled and Jasper's head snapped up to me. "That's right, I didn't tell you about how my last _husband _treated me did I? Amenhotep. He had a real temper, and liked to get what he wanted. And just like you, he would marry someone to get it. He stepped on everyone's heads, and got it. He married me for a deal. And raped me _every night._" Jasper growled and my foot landed on his chest. He had no right to be angry at Amenhotep when he was breaking my heart. At least I'd never been in _love _with Amenhotep, I'd never given him that power over me but I'd given it to Jasper, hadn't I? God had I given it to Jasper.

"I dealt with him for a long time, being the nice little Queen he wanted, giving him child after child and loving each one. And then he returned my submission by killing my first born girl. When I was changed, he was the first person I managed to drain dry." I ground my foot into his chest. I didn't want to remember this but it seemed to be pouring out of me. "I'm going to let you go, because my sister needs me. But if you ever cross my path again, you'd better run and hide. Consider our marriage, over." I turned, speeding away from him, only for me to see Edward standing there, eyes wide. I stopped. He had heard everything, I could tell by the shock on his face, and by the sadness lingering and radiating off of him so much so that I could feel it, I could tell he'd already left Bella.

"What?" I snarled, crouching in the very familiar hunting crouch. It was instinctual. "Do you want to try to rip my heart out to?" I asked him. "Because I got to tell you, Eddie, I've never liked you that much." I slunk forward, causing Edward to drop into a cautious crouch. I was boiling with so many emotions that I could really kill him in this instance.

"You need to leave with us." Edward bluntly told me, though he still watched me carefully. "She's not going to live-" I slammed into him, making him fly into his own tree, breaking it like Jasper's body had. He hadn't even seen me coming. These vampires, they probably didn't even understand how good I was, or how much I was capable of slaughtering all of them. None of them were old enough to understand. They hadn't been around for a lot of fighting, even though they thought themselves old.

"I hope you _do _burn in hell." I snarled over Edward, spitting on him. "Because that's what you deserve. And next time you chose to go against a vampire, make sure they aren't as old as me, boy." I ran away from both vampires, getting in my Lamborghini and burning rubber to get out of the drive.

I didn't know where Bella was, and I wasn't a good tracker. I'd lose her scent before I ever found her. She'd probably been gone a long time, as it had taken me a long time to gather my clothes. What had Jasper been doing? Had he just been walking around doing nothing, waiting on me to pack so that he could force me to go with him? For that fact, what had Edward been doing? Just sitting and listen to Jasper lose the battle to get me to leave my sister?

I wouldn't let the pain consume me yet. Bella needed me. She was my life, long before Jasper was. It hurt so much, like there was a giant bullet sitting, blocking my heart from working properly. That reminded me to turn back into a human, just in time to park in front of the police station with a squeal of tires. I didn't have time to obey human laws, my sister was somewhere that I couldn't find her and it was steadily getting darker out here. It didn't help that the loss of my Jasper made me reckless.

"Hey!" One of the police officers that had seen me speeding in tried to stop me, but I pushed him out of the way, running into the police station. I didn't stop for anyone. I looked only for the police chief's office. When I found Charlie's office I barged in. Charlie was there, sitting on his desk, talking to someone there but when he saw me he smiled, only for it to falter as my expression was probably one twitch short of crazed.

"Charlie, I need to talk, now." I said, looking at the boy in his room.

"I'm in the middle of an interview of a-" Charlie motioned to the nameless man.

"That's okay; you can keep them over night." I told Charlie, the boy was a young man. I seductively walked to the boy, rubbing his hair, purring. "Can't he?" I asked, purring it. The young boy's face reddened and he stuttered out a yes.

I led him out the door, closing it behind him sharply, turning back to Charlie, who looked shocked. "Dad, Bella's missing." I told him. Charlie's face became as panicked as mine.

"What?" Charlie blurted, standing up straight. "Where?"

"Edward left her, and stupidly in the middle of the woods." I told him. I'd known enough of tracking to smell that much of his scent, it had led off into the woods with Bella's, but where his came out, hers didn't. That's why I needed other people. I would probably be sacrificing the use of my vampire skills, but that meant there would be more eyes, and more people to look for Bella. "I can't find her. I just got home from…but that isn't the problem right now." I waved it away like it wasn't breaking my heart to be standing here teeling him this when I knew that Jasper was gone and probably forever.

"I'll call everyone I know; we'll form a search party. We'll meet at the house." Charlie moved behind his desk, picking up his phone receiver. It was short and sweet instructions, he was all Chief Swan now.

"I'll gather everyone I can." I swore to Charlie, as I ran out of his office. I stopped, thinking before nodding. "People!" I shouted, standing on a chair. Everyone in the room looked at me, even the criminals here.

"I'm Belle Swan; my father is the police chief. Today my sister has gone missing. If you are a friend of Charlie's or would like to help find her, please meet in front of the Swan residence immediately. Get everyone you can involved with this please!" I jumped down, running as fast as I could humanly possible back to my Lamborghini. While I was in the car I called everyone I had the number of. I called Angela who agreed to help, and then I called Tyler, Mike, Jessica, Eric, and even Lauren. Lauren was the only one who didn't do it, but I hadn't suspected she would, as she hates Bella for no reason.

I didn't know what else I could do but I knew there would be a lot of people at the house, so I grabbed a lot of things from the grocery, just in case they needed water or something to get to Bella, or give to her. Once I paid I threw everything into the passenger seat, starting up the car and heading off again.

By the time I got there it was dark out, and there were already people there, entering the forest path. I slammed onto the breaks inside of the garage, getting out fast and jogging to Charlie, and he scooped me into a tight hug before dropping me, keeping an arm around me.

"How many people did you get?" I asked him, scanning the place. There were so many people, some of them heading in to the forest, with their cellphones close to them, and some with a gun just in case.

"All that I could." Charlie told me, squeezing my arm. "That is the place, isn't it?" Charlie questioned.

"Yes, that's it. I saw Edward come out." I told Charlie, eyeing the map spread out on the hood of Charlie's police cruiser. There were places on it marked and I didn't know what they meant but I could guess that it was where they'd checked and come across nothing.

"What about the others, what about Jasper?" Charlie questioned. "Maybe they can help." Charlie reached for his phone but I stopped him with my eyes. I could only imagine how pained I looked but I would never be able to communicate how painful it really felt to know that my husband, just married, had left.

"They left. All of them, including my…husband." I grit out. "Soon to be ex-husband." I grunted, moving away from Charlie and looking at the map. "I can help. I think I know Bella's brain a little better than most so-"

"No." Charlie stopped me. "I'm not taking the chance at losing you to." Charlie turned when someone called his name. I huffed and opened my mouth, only to close it as a disgusting, wet dog smell hit my nose and my taste buds. I coughed and put my hand to my nose, stepping around Charlie, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head.

There were three of them, all looking the same. They were Indian, definitely from the reservation. My breath stopped as I eyed them. They could probably smell me, especially if I could smell them. They were my natural enemies after all. I wondered at it, because I knew vampires couldn't smell me when I was human. They looked all alike, with the same short hair and tan skin, with a wicked tribal tattoo on their arms. They were buff, shirtless and _damn gorgeous._ These people were shape shifters.I gulped when they came closer, not realizing what I was. I don't even know if they knew who I was.

"Charlie, we've come to do what we could." Billy was with them, right in front of them. That made me glance and see Jacob walking off to the side, clearly worried as well, but keeping a distance from the others. He must not know about them. Another man that Charlie had over to the house often, Harry Clearwater was there as well. I stepped behind Charlie, trying to fade into the background, but with my luck today it was impossible.

"Belle was the last to see him; she can show you where to start. I know that your boys know the woods the best." Charlie nodded, stepping away. I cautiously stepped forward, gulping when the three boys seemed to glare at me. Jacob though moved forward.

"How are you Belle?" Jacob asked me. I sighed.

"Been better I guess you could say." I rolled my eyes, and then smiled. "Thank you for coming Jacob, um…." I nodded to the boys and really they were more men, either by age or physically they looked like it.

"I'm Sam," The first one grunted, with a deep voice. "This is Paul and Jared." He nodded back but all three of them were as tense as could be. I realized another problem when I saw it. I turned to Jacob and Billy.

"Try and keep Charlie's head on for me, please?" I begged them. Charlie had left this conversation, going on to the police cruisers hood, showing others where Bella might have gotten. "Can you follow me, Sam, Jared, and Paul?" I asked, eyeing them up. I didn't want to be attacked, but it was long since out that my eyes were golden to the humans, so maybe they'd realize that I didn't drink off of humans.

I lead them to the start of the forest, going into the path. The humans weren't near here, and wouldn't hear us talking so when we entered where I couldn't go past, not knowing where Bella's scent leads, I stopped turning to them. The two, Paul and Jared, both flanked Sam right behind him and I realized it for what it was, the beta, and such.

"I'm not going to hurt humans." I told them straight forward, not stopping for them to talk. "Your people signed a peace treaty with me, when I came here before. My vampire name is Nefertiti, that's what I signed it as. I don't have time to explain much now. Bella is my adoptive sister, and I really want her found. Can you please find her?" I begged them. They stared me down, their emotions not showing on their faces.

"We protect humans." Sam said, still having a leader like passiveness about him, but I could instinctually feel that they all hated me.

"Why should we protect Swan, she's a vampire lover so why don't we-" Paul said and Sam turned to growl at him. Paul was the best looking out of them. He wasn't as gorgeous as…Jasper but Paul looked nice. He was angry though, and shaking. I didn't know everything about shape shifters but I could already tell what that would lead to.

"Bella probably won't be for long." I told Paul, trying to get them to help me find Bella. If anyone could help Bella, it was a shape shifter. "Please, Edward, the vampire she was dating has left her, and I'm guessing not with a pleasant goodbye. All of the other vampires are gone; I'm the only one left." I pleaded. "I swear, I'd never hurt Bella."

"We protect humans," Sam repeated. "We will find Bella, but you are to meet us after, to explain yourself." He bargained.

"Why are we bargaining with her? We could just rip her-" Jared tried to interject but Sam growled. When he spoke next something in his voice made the other two snap to attention.

"Go help to find Bella Swan." He ordered them. The other two were tense but nodded. I didn't bother to show them the way, as they probably knew better than me. As he passed Paul hit my shoulder and I winced at the strength behind the knock, almost falling over. Sam stayed behind, waiting to speak until his pack members were gone.

"We will find Bella; but do not believe that we are doing it for you." Sam warned.

"I don't want any trouble with you or anyone. When Bella is safe and I can leave her, I'll come to the borderline, between Forks and the reservation. You can request something of me I promise. As long as it isn't to leave Bella, because as much as you don't want to believe it, Bella does need me." I told him. He nodded and silently walked past me to follow his boys.

Once he was gone I let out a breath and started walking back to the cars. They'd set up shop and I quickly walked to them. Charlie had the police scanner on, and the people were calling in, reporting no sightings. I was so anxious to find Bella. When I arrived at the place sweet Jacob wrapped a blanket around me, holding me close.

"We'll find Bella." Jacob promised.

"I know, but what shape will she be in, after what Edward did to her?" I asked Jacob. He was a good kid. I'd felt sorry for him before because he had a crush on Bella, and even been a little disgusted by him because he was becoming a mutt, but now I didn't care. He was a sweet boy, and now, after this day, with all this hectic-ness and heartbreak, I just wish that he had been the one that Bella had fallen in love with. Hell, now I just wish I hadn't fallen in love.

Was it supposed to be this painful? Now that I knew that Jasper had proposed to me because he wanted me to stay with him I felt so…betrayed, hurt, and…crushed so much that I really did feel like when I was a Pharaoh, and my husband had just fallen asleep after…that. I can't believe I got so angry that I told Whitlock that. It was so private, only a select few people knew about it and I'd just told someone who had crushed my heart into little bitty pieces.

Jacob stayed with me the entire night, making sure that I was okay. Charlie tried his best to comfort me to, but he was just as focused on finding Bella as I was. I got to know Jacob though. The more I did, the more I wanted him to be the one my sister chose. He was a special person, and when he changed into a mutt, and started hating me to, I'd feel a little loss from it, he was a good listener.

We sat on the steps now, waiting for news. Jacob was trying to keep my mind off of everything. He told me about his Dad, his Dad's wreck, his troubles, and even about his rabbit that he was building.

"That Lamborghini," I pointed at it. "Is mine." I muttered. I may not have talked a lot while Jacob was talking to me but he was helping me feel better, and I liked that.

"It's awesome. How did you afford it though?" Jacob asked. I glanced at him smiling.

"I'm adopted." I told Jacob and his eyebrows rose. "I know, I've been told that it's hard to believe but I am. My mother wrapped me in her clothes or something and left me on the Swan's doorstep, with her things. Charlie searched out all her stuff when I asked him to. They had been about to freeze her bank accounts because she wasn't using them but Charlie got the rights signed over to me, because she was MIA. She was really rich so, here I am with all this money to spend." I sighed, rubbing my face.

"Have you ever tried to find your Mom, or your Dad?" Jacob curiously asked.

"No, I'm happy here. Despite the drama, and the fact that I keep almost losing Bella I like it." I told Jacob. "One thing I've always lived by is that once I love someone like family, you are family and I support and protect my family." I scratched my cheek as Jacob grinned.

"I've never seen a sister like you, Bella's very lucky." Jacob told me. "I have two sisters, and they both treat me like a kid. When I was like seven, they'd dress me up as a girl, and treat me like one." He shared. I rolled my eyes and stood up.

"Come on then, Jayla, let's go see if they've heard anything." I teased and Jacob flushed, pushing me gently with his shoulder while following me to see if Dad had found anything. We didn't speak to them, just listened. It didn't sound good. They hadn't seen her, and as a last ditch Charlie had tried calling the Cullen house, hoping that they weren't really gone and had seen her.

"Belle, Charlie!" Jacob said. I looked to him and then looked where he was pointing. Out of the forest walked Sam, the leader and I ran to him. In his arms was Bella, and I gasped. She looked so pale, and hurt.

"Is she all right? Is she hurt anywhere?" I asked desperately of Sam, forgetting for a moment that he was a shape shifter.

"She's all right. She's fine, she just keeps saying he's gone." Sam told me, looking me in the eye. "Thank you, thank you so much." I told him, as Charlie took Bella from Sam's arms. I followed with Charlie, anxious to see Bella open her eyes. Then I remembered my manners.

I went off to the side, gaining everyone's attention.

"Thank you, everyone for showing up." I told them, clutching the blanket closer to me. Now that Bella was safe here I realized just how freezing it was, and I didn't have a coat on. "I couldn't possibly make any of this up to you, but please, if you ever need anything from me or Charlie, all you have to do is ask and we'll get it done." I told them. "There are refreshments left, you can get some of them, or if you want I have a tab at the grocery store, just add any kind of snack you want to it, I assure you I can pay for it." I told them. "Have a nice night."

I ran inside, where the doctor was checking Bella over. The other shape shifters, Jared and Paul were here now, they had followed Sam into the house. I didn't mind or care as I kneeled beside Charlie at Bella's side. She hadn't opened her eyes, and I was so worried.

"Is she going to be all right, Dr. Grandee?" I asked him, taking Bella's hand.

"She should be fine, a little bed rest and a good deal of time. It's mostly emotional trauma I believe." He said, standing up. I bounced to help him, as he was aging up into his sixties nowadays.

"Thank you, so much, for coming to help." I thanked him. He smiled and nodded, saying something about liking helping. I turned to the wet shape shifters and went down the hall, tugging open the closet for spare towels.

"Here." I said when I walked back in to the room. "So you can dry off and not be so wet." I commented, handing them over. As soon as they were out of my hands I smiled and moved back to Bella. She wasn't awake. She may not have been asleep, but she never woke up to really look at me. I laid a blanket that I'd grabbed from the closet as well down on her and tucked her in.

"We'll be leaving now." Sam said and I turned my head to meet his eyes. "We will expect you soon." Sam told me. Charlie looked between us but I didn't explain, just nodded at Sam and watched him go. When he was gone and I could do nothing for anyone else I focused on Bella, getting a glace of water and some food for when she woke up.

"Charlie, you should get some sleep." I told him. His eyes were dropping and I knew that he was tired from worried so much. I was exhausted mentally but I couldn't sleep until I knew she was okay.

"I want to see Bella." Charlie argued.

"Dad, she's not going to want a fuss made over her and after what Cullen did to her, I wouldn't expect she'll want a spectacle to be made when she cries." I whispered to Charlie. He frowned, glancing between me and Bella. "I'll stay with her, I promise if anything happens I'll call you." I promised. Charlie gave in, giving me a hug and Bella a hug as well before he shuffled upstairs.

I sneezed, and I half worried that I was actually going to end up sick but it didn't happen. Instead I sat on the floor next to Bella's head and watched. For the most part I stayed downstairs with Bella, holding her hand and sitting on the floor with her. I didn't read a magazine, or turn the T.V. on or anything. All I did was staring at Bella, begging in my mind for her to wake up. For the most part I kept my mind blank because I didn't want to be the one crying when Bella woke up. I'd cry later, when it was my time, while everyone was busy taking care of Bella. When I was alone.

Her eyes fluttered. I stood up on my knees, squeezing her hand. "Bella?" I asked cautiously. Her eyes fluttered again before they snapped open, and she rose up.

"Belle?" She asked, and before I could answer she was hugging me. I hugged her back, sitting on the couch with her.

"Everything will be okay Bella, I'm here." I told her, I could already feel the wet tears on my shoulder as she cried her little heart out. "I know it seems really glum for us right now, but we've got each other." I whispered, putting my forehead onto her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, about the paper cut." Bella sobbed. I looked into her eyes, holding her cheek.

"Bella, that wasn't your fault and it wasn't mine. It wasn't even the Cullens." She flinched at their name and I flinched at her flinch. I should have known that she'd be scarred by all of this. "Bella we have to try and move on…to put this behind us as best we can. I-I know it's going to be hard but…" I widened my eyes. "I don't think we'll ever really get over it, but we shouldn't stop living just because they left."

"It's true, they're gone?" Her face was red with tears but my sister was a beautiful crier. I couldn't say the same for me, because I still couldn't cry even if I was a human right now.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I should have never left you." I held her close but she pushed back now to look at me.

"They told me, Alice told me that you and Jasper got married is it-" I cringed, answering her question before she was even through speaking. It was her turn to hold me close. I wouldn't fall apart, I would _not_. This was about Bella right now, not about me. I needed to make sure she was okay. "I'm so sorry Belle. It's my entire fault, if I'd just-"

"It. Isn't. Your. Fault." I told her, clutching her upper arms. "I swear Bella, don't worry about me. I can take this. Trust me; it's just another heartbreak out of millions in my time. You need to focus on you." I lied straight through my teeth. This heartbreak was already hurting more than all the others. I was so sure that he was the one that he was my mate but I must have been wrong. Even as I thought it I knew it was wrong. He was my mate, but I'll be damned if I let this get to me, at least while Bella still needed me.

"What happened?" Bella asked, tentatively but curiously. "Why didn't you leave with th-them." She stuttered over the word. I was silent for a second, trying to think of how to phrase it so she wouldn't ridiculously think that it was her fault.

"Jasper and I got married, and had our…honeymoon night." I gulped down some venom that rose in the back of my throat as Bella squeezed my hand. "We came back here and I began packing, and Jasper left to find a house, only I don't think he was. I think he was packing his things getting ready for us to leave Forks all together. He already _knew _Bella. He came in my window and told me all these ridiculous things about how it would be better for you…and I slapped him." I bit my tongue.

"What?" Bella was stunned.

"Well, he said…he said that you weren't my sister. He was so harsh, and he wasn't being the Jasper that I fell in love with. He was being some kind of mean Jasper that I would never have loved." One sob escaped and I put my hand over my mouth, swinging my head back and forth, my hair getting in my way. "I threw his ring back at him and told him our marriage was over, going so far as to tell him he was just like my last husband. Edward came, and tried to force me to leave, and I slammed him against a tree so I could leave to get Charlie, so we could find you." I finished.

When I looked back at Bella her eyes were clouded with more tears and questions but her body looked so defeated, and her spirit was crushed. I was witnessing something dying in her and I was helpless to do anything, because the only one who could be able to fix it would be all the way to Alaska by now. I assume that's where they are, I'm not so sure.

"Oh, Belle." She hugged me again. For a moment I allowed myself to take comfort in Bella and then I sucked it up, pulling back so I could turn vampire for a moment.

"Come on, I'll carry you upstairs to your bed." I told her, picking her up with no hassle at all. Bella didn't argue, which was strange but I figured she was exhausted. When I made it upstairs and turned to go to her room she stopped me.

"Can we sleep together? In your bed?" She tentatively asked. I nodded; turning back to my room and kicking open the door. I ignored the suitcases and the clothes on the floor for now, managing to tuck Bella into my covers first, taking off her jacket, shoes and socks. I flashed into her room, avoiding being caught by Charlie to get Bella some pajamas to sleep in.

"Here, change into these while I get a bath." I told her. "You can take one in the morning." I whispered, flashing around, picking up the suitcases and throwing them into my closet for now, picking up my own pajamas to wear. I changed back human.

Once I was in the bathroom, I turned on the water and stripped getting into the shower. The moment I was in, I slid down the wall, letting the warm water disguise my pain. I wanted to let it all out now.

The one decision I hadn't wanted to make had been made. I'd had to choose between my mate, because I was sure Jasper had been it for me, and my sister Bella. From the moment that I'd fallen in love with Jasper Whitlock I'd feared that this moment would come in the future, and I'd be left broken hearted either way. I know that my heart had wanted to stay with Jasper, to forget Bella and be happy, but I wouldn't have been happy. I'd been left resenting Whitlock and his family anyways, because Bella was someone that I could never replace. I felt too connected to Bella to ever let her go.

She was my sister, and it was instilled in me so long ago that we take care of family. It was the only thing that royalty could count on. Even then family failed us and we still believed in them, because I was foreign from the Egyptian way of life until I was fourteen I'd already had my morals beat into me by my King father.

I cried and cried in that bathroom for a long time, until the water was cold, until I couldn't cry any more. I couldn't let tears out, but the water cascading down on me felt as if I could. Eventually I really washed myself and got out of the shower, drying myself off. I glanced some movement out of the corner of me eyes and when I followed it there I was, in the mirror.

I looked horrible. I was beautiful, as I'd been at this age in my human life, but I was obviously hurting. My eyes were duller, not so golden, and my skin was much paler then my tan skin should be. Even my hair seemed stringy, even though I'd just blow dried it. The bags under my eyes, and the loss of color in my cheeks were heartbreaking but that was what I was, heartbroken.

I slunk into my room and Bella wasn't sleeping. I didn't think she would. I don't know which would keep her awake, that he was gone, or I wasn't in the room with her, making sure she was safe. I got into my bed, wrapping Bella comfortingly into my arms. I couldn't keep her safe from everything, but I would try my hardest to make sure that I was there to keep her safe from what I could. She was really all I had now.

Unlike most people would in this situation, at no point did I blame Bella for what happened. Only at some points did I blame my stupid brain and morals for choosing her over Jasper. What Jasper did though, was never going to be forgiven. I could never think to put myself out into the open like that again. I'd only done it twice and look what had happened; both of my husbands had practically using me.

Did Jasper even really love me? Maybe they had all tried, and failed, to seduce me away from Bella. Speculation didn't help me, nor would it help Bella because for months she would go without any kind of personality. All she was belonged to Edward, and when he left my sister practically left with him.

**Ta-Da? I hope you all liked it? Is that the right wording to use there? I know it wasn't much but I wanted to make it where Belle had her own painful moment in New Moon. I hope you all don't hate me now. This is about the last chapter that I'm overly proud of. The rest of them I'm just megh on. This chapter's fifteen chapters long so I hope you really did like it because it took a long time to write it.**

**I go back to 'work' so to speak tomorrow. I don't know if that'll make my update time worse or not effect it at all so I wanted to let you guys know now. Thank you everyone who has favorite, followed, or reviewed. You have no idea how great you guys make my day!**

**P.S. Sorry it's late when I posted this. I was going to post it over but my estranged family wanted to have a VERY late Christmas with my Mom and I.**


	6. A Month

For a week I couldn't move without Bella being by my side. It didn't even matter that I was standing directly next to her though because she was never fully there. I knew she missed Edward but this is a mate kind of hurt if I'd ever seen it. On one hand I felt luckier than Bella. Jasper and I were fighting, and I'd left him but at least Jasper hadn't told me that I was worthless, and that he didn't want me. Bella's heart had been nearly sucked out of her chest.

She'd already been an insecure girl before she'd met Edward Cullen, and it had only worsened by the time she was a month into dating him. Now she was practically gone, she didn't care what she looked like, or what she did. All she really did was follow me, or sit in her room and try to get a hold of Alice.

Her eyes had constant, deep bags under them, and she never took care of herself, leaving her hair greasy and her skin paler, to pale. I tried my best to help her, to try and make her better but no matter what I would do, she would never get better. I didn't leave her. When school was on I would go with her, silently helping her. I didn't have a lot of classes with her, but we only had four classes. I checked up on her as much as I could, between classes or not. I signed up for office work, and anything that could get me in the classroom with Bella, helping her.

It didn't matter, every time I saw her she was just the same as before, depressed and in a rut, moving like she had nothing to live for. To her she didn't have anything to live for.

She wasn't the only depressed one. I steered clear of all mirrors, and reflective surfaces. I couldn't stand to see myself like I did. I barely ate when I was human, and when I did it was something that wasn't good for me. I was losing weight, something Bella actually wasn't doing, thanks to Charlie and my own help. I haven't been hunting in a long time, but I don't think it's even affecting me. I simply wasn't thirsty.

A kid cut himself on a scalpel we were using in a class and I hadn't even noticed until someone said something. I don't know what was happening to me, but I felt like the only reason I was even living any more was because Bella needs me to. I feared what would happen when she decided she didn't need me. I mean I was pretty much useless. Everywhere I turned people were moving through their life, and I knew that as much as this gift allowed me to blend in, I couldn't really ever be one of them.

They were all sheep, and I was just some wolf that longed to be a sheep. I would never get to be who I wanted. I could never be a simple love of someone. I didn't want to be a step up in the territorial battles or some kind of mission where the man had to marry me to get me away from my sister. What I wanted was to be loved, cherished, and just me. Was that such a hard request to make? It seemed so because my heart that had so long been trapped was now in pieces in Jasper's pocket.

Months went by before I did any kind of anything important. I knew that Sam and the pack wanted to see me. They'd shown up around town, mysteriously where ever was. I didn't know if they monitored my house, and at some level I didn't care if they did. Deep down in my cerebellum I knew that I wouldn't mind so much if they attacked me and just ripped into me.

And then of course, I'd think of Bella.

Nothing was making me happy any more. I couldn't watch T.V., art class, which I was taking advanced level, which I don't understand the need for, seeing as how it's all art anyway. I was taking a lot of classes, just to get my mind off of things. Nothing was working. I'd manage to finish whatever I was doing and then still think of the mess that Bella and I were in.

Most of the time, more often then I wanted to I just thought of leaving. I mean, I wasn't helping Bella at all, and apparently no one loved me. Charlie did, but he was so worried, I could see the gray coming into his hair. All I was good at was causing problems. What could I possibly have done that was good? I was just a horrible person. I didn't want to be, but what chose did I have? It was either kill myself, or live on just because Bella needed me. I felt…conflicted. All I did was cause problems, and some day Bella wouldn't need me…Jasper's words kept replaying over and over through my head.

"**Belle, she's only going to get hurt if we stay here. You've seen what happens when we get too close to humans." **

"**She needs me!"**

"**No she doesn't!" **

"**She isn't your sister!"**

I didn't want these memories in my head, but like everything I've ever really wanted, it was foiled by my vampire qualities. The perfect photographic memory that I used to think was a blessing was a curse in holy clothing.

I was in the kitchen, it was Christmas break, past Christmas which had been very dull, and I'd just gotten the mail out of the mailbox and walked into the kitchen to see Dad sitting there, looking out of the window, holding a phone.

"Dad?" I asked him. My voice even sounded bad. Charlie turned around, not having heard me before.

"I…" Charlie sat the phone down looking around before meeting my eyes. "That was Renee, calling for Bella again." Charlie motioned to a chair and I walked over, sitting while still holding the mail in my hands. "She…wants Bella and you to move back down with her to Jacksonville. Renee thinks that maybe the memories are too much and that you would be better off in Jacksonville." I reached over, laying my hand on top of Charlie's.

"Dad, I wouldn't want to leave Forks for Jacksonville ever. I love it here in Forks. I just…I was in love with him, and I know it seems like a long time to mourn, but I married him. I thought just moments before the break up that we were going to be living together." I confessed, taking my hand back and looking out of the window. "How long did it take you to get over Mom?" I asked him quietly. Dad sighed across from me silently.

"When you were around seven, and you were so sweet and intelligent, I'd hoped that you'd never face pain like I did." Charlie chuckled humorlessly. "I guess you're following almost exactly in my path." I grimaced, picking up the mail from where I'd let it fall on the table. I began to split it. Bella had a few pieces of mail. She worked at the Newton store, so her check was in there, and her free subscription. Dad had lots of mail from all over the city.

"I brought it up to Bella this morning; she didn't think it was a good idea either. She's going out with Jessica, in a few minutes." Charlie said. Apparently the phone call that he just had wasn't from Renee or she was probably just reinforcing it in his mind. I could hardly believe that Bella was going out, and with all the people, Jessica. Most likely it was only to try and make Dad think she was getting better.

A lot of universities and colleges were curious about me, sending me invitation letters. I don't know where they'd gotten my name or my address but I was a little intrigued. When I say a little, I really mean I didn't have any interest in it any more but before they left I would have liked to go study medicine, so that I knew like Carlisle did.

I had envelopes that I didn't know about. One was from La Push, the other from the school surprisingly. I opened the one from La Push first. It was something I'd expected, a direct 'summons' to the border. It was for tonight, at midnight. I only knew it was from the mutts because of the scent on it. I'd bet, seeing as there was no return address, that they had hand delivered it so that I would get it on time.

Now I didn't know what the one from school was. I opened it cautiously, frowning when I opened it. Reading it I couldn't find myself caring. In my trying for distraction it seems that I managed to get more than enough credits to graduate early. I think they kind of want me to graduate. I'd managed to go through all of the classes, just out of sheer boredom, and manipulation. At first they hadn't wanted to let me get in classes but everything they gave me I ate up like it was nothing.

"It seems like I'll be graduating early." I quietly told Charlie, reading on. He gave me his full attention. "I took all the classes that they have, or can, offer. They had me take a test the last week of school, and apparently it was a test on all of my subjects that they had compiled. I'm done with school." I blandly told him. Great, there went another one of my distractions. If this kept up I was going to take up bungee jumping as a hobby.

"What, I mean, congratulations kid." Charlie told me. I looked up at him, frowning. Did this call for celebration? I mean who was going to look after Bella now? The plants? No one at school even bothered with her much anymore or me either now that I think about it. The letter says that I won't have to go back to school at all, and that my sister can gather my things for me. I thought it was rather rude, but I didn't mind. I needed to find something else to do now.

"I'm going out." I said, getting up from my chair, taking the letter from La Push with me.

"What? Where?" Charlie asked, following me to the door. I turned to him.

"The boys from the reservation, uh, Paul, Sam, and Jared wanted to hang out, so I'm going to spend some time with them." I told Charlie, grabbing my keys and a jacket. "I might not be back in until too late, so try and make sure to take care of Bella. If she has a nightmare, all you can do is hold her." I told Charlie. Bella was having nightmares left and right. She wouldn't tell me what they were about, but I didn't ask more than once.

I left out the door, making sure my wallet was in my pocket. It was seven right now, at night but I would take almost fifteen minutes maybe to get to the treaty line. I wanted to pick up some new things for a project I was starting in art, or well I guess I was doing it on my own now. I found artwork relaxing, painting or even sculpting was something I liked though I'd never really tried it before now.

After searching all through Forks for somewhere that held the type of things I wanted I ran little errands, gathering things that I needed, or Bella might need. When the time finally arrived for me to meet the shape shifters I parked my car off to the side of a deserted highway that led straight over the treaty line that I had marked on a map with people that were no longer alive any more.

Getting outside of my car and sitting on the hood was the easy part, but I knew that they wouldn't want to meet me again where people could see me. They'd probably come all decked out in wolfie form. It had been a very long time since I had seen something like that, and I was curious.

So I walked away from my car, locking it so no one would steal the car, and made my way into the forest. There wasn't much about direction. I followed what I believed to be the line, along a river until I reached a place of all forest, completely disclosed from the humans, and turned.

There wasn't anything I could do after that, so I waited, lying down on the ground and sighed, closing my eyes. It was peaceful here. Maybe I didn't have to go to the ocean; I could just let the world bury me under it. That's how the fossils worked, isn't it?

I heard snapping noises, and rushed pounding of the ground. The wolves were descending. I sat up from my spot, but didn't get up, instead scooting back to put my back against a tree. I would give them the air of dominance, so that they might trust me. I really didn't want to hurt any of them; the question was if they believed it.

When the first wolf came out of the tree I let out a breath. They were gorgeous beasts. The first one, since he was in the front I'm guessing he was Sam, was all black in his fur. His amber, almost crystal like, eyes were steady and strong. The two behind him were just as magnificent. The wolf to the side and back the farthest was a woodish brown, with spikes of grey in it. The most stunning wolf though was the closest to Sam's wolf, and the most beautiful creature that I've ever seen. He was silver in every bit of him besides his face, where it was an almost pale white.

"Hello." I whispered, smiling at them from the ground. Sam ducked his head and trotted away behind some brush. The other two, the more hostile ones, crept closer, but not to close. I tensed a little but didn't get up, or try in any way to defend myself. I hoped that they would just get it over with if they were going to do it. I was in my human form after all, so it wouldn't be much of a fight if they did.

Sam came out from behind the brush, as a human and wearing nothing but a pair of cut off jean shorts. Just like before. I wondered vaguely where they kept their clothes, and looked at the other wolfs. They seemed to keep them in a wire around their legs, so they'd stay on for when they turned back.

"Swan." Sam greeted again, human.

"I'm afraid I don't know your last name. Would you prefer Sam or your last name?" I asked him, rising, slowly and surely so the wolfs would know what I was doing long before I did it.

"I'm Sam Uley, and these two are my pack." Sam introduced. I nodded and smiled to the two of them. "How is your sister?"

"She's alive, but only physically. I think Cullen has killed her spirit." I felt the sneer wanting to take over my face. "I would like to make it known, that I in no way support their actions, or anything they may have done to hurt, or estrange you and your people." I told them, bowing my head down a little bit. The little bit that I did know about wolfs was not a lot of help but I did show my neck in a sign of submission, just in case.

"Will they be coming back?" Sam asked me.

"No, they seem to have left forever. I hope they will not return, but I can't promise anything, as I've broken ties with them." My hand absentmindedly fingered my ring finger. For just those two days I had a ring on that finger that meant love. "I was made to understand that you would want to call on your favor?" I asked them. "I don't want to keep you in my presence. I know I must not be who you want to spend your night with."

The two wolfs shifted positions, tilting their heads back a little in agreement. I had guessed right then, though I have nowhere to go, they certainly did.

"We want to know more about vampires, and everything that you know." Sam was to the point, and blunt. I was okay with that. "Would you tell us all that you know about vampires?" I pursed my lips, sighing. I hadn't suspected this. Maybe they would have liked to know everything but I don't know about this.

"I'm over three thousand years old…" I said slowly. "I have a lot of information about a lot of things, but it would take a lot longer than just a night to explain it." I ran my fingers through my stringy hair, trying to keep it out of my face. "But if you are willing to hear what I have to say, I will answer any questions you have for me, as long as they are at reasonable hours." I told him.

"Why?" He asked. "You don't sleep, we know that much."

"I stay with Charlie, he's my adoptive father. It wouldn't be right if I was to go out every night. Between worrying about Bella's state of mind, and my state of health, he doesn't need to be worrying about where I'm going at night." I explained. "It isn't good for his health."

"All right agreed." Sam said. "Also, you are to meet on Quileute land only and as a human so you can't hurt anyone." He strongly told me, again using that voice that leaked leadership vibes. I was a leader to though, and it wouldn't work on me.

"Agreed." I stated. It was good terms, and good strategy. If I was on their land all of the time, then they could watch me. With this already in my mind, it wasn't hard to wrap my head around what he wanted next.

"When you are on Quileute soil, you are to have an escort. And if possible in Forks as well." Sam bargained. I felt the whine more then heard it from both of the wolves behind him, though more from the silver and white one. I would even say that it was more of a growl.

"I'd prefer not to have it all of the time in Forks, if that is all right. I will no longer be going to school, as I'm graduating early but, I don't think Bella would react to kindly – strike that, Bella doesn't really react too much of anything these days. Charlie wouldn't react to well to me hanging around three grown looking men." I told them.

"All right." Sam agreed. The silver wolf growled furiously, the other one following after him, but it was the silver one that took a step towards me. "Enough!" Sam growled back at them. "It has been decided. We reserve the right to revoke, or add any amendment to this treaty." Sam officially said. "Do you give your word, and vow your life." How very official of them to say it in such a way.

"I swear upon my life, and those of my ancestors, and predecessors that I will follow this treaty and the guidelines given at the cost so named." I told them, being just as formal and official. "And, if you want, or it makes you trust me more, or not, my name when I was human was Nefertiti. I was a Pharaoh in Egypt a long time ago, and a Queen to a Pharaoh as well. I don't know if you know who I am or not, but you can look up a lot of my history that the humans have unearthed." Giving them this information was a sign of trust on my part. They wouldn't hurt me, as long as I didn't hurt a human.

"I have heard of you." Sam said and his expression changed for a small, tiny second to shock before it went to the ever neutral hating that he wore around me all of the time. "We'll arrive at your house sometime tomorrow, be ready." He told me, turning and heading for the bush to change. It didn't take him long before he went streaking out of the place, the other two following him.

I would like it a lot if they'd have let me seen them up close. They were beautiful wolfs. I'd always liked wolfs. They were my favorite animal, always powerful and majestic, but little predators, and hunters to.

Now, the worst over with I trudged back to my car, leaving my hands in my pockets and walking. There was again nothing to do. I could take up knitting. I already knew how to do that though. Old fashioned way only though because that had been the past time of women a long time ago. I turned back into myself before getting into the car and heading back towards Forks.

I guess I'll be spending most of my days on the reservation for a while. Eventually they'd have no use for me, and I'd be stuck with nothing to do again. I don't fancy staying with an escort either but I think it was a reasonable request for him to make. The other two didn't seem to like me very much, but Sam looked passive. I suppose he probably didn't like me either, and was only honoring the treaty that I'd made with them. That treaty hadn't been as official as the one made here. They'd just told me not to come on their land, and I hadn't. It was simply being polite.

When I got home, I was surprised to see Bella getting out of her truck. Oh yeah, Charlie said something about her going out with Jessica, didn't he? But why was there a large something in the back of her truck, with a tarp over it? I sighed and ruffled my hair. I didn't want to ask. I was so tired of everything. I just wanted to go to sleep permanently. Would that be so bad?

Bella and I didn't talk to each other, just nodded and walked inside. She slept in my bed with me now. She told me I keep the nightmares away for a little bit. More often than not I sat beside her and watched her sleep, just waiting for her to start screaming. That's what happened tonight.

It's practically what happened every night.

When I got up in the morning I went through my usual routine, grab something small to eat, take a shower and think about that day, then get out, speak to Charlie, and then the routine stopped. I sat down at the table, and even made a list of things that I could do. I guess I could do that art project but what was the point really? I was so tired.

Charlie went off to work soon, and then Bella came down the stairs, as tired and unhealthy looking as always. We were to peas in a pod, both unhealthy and depressed. What a pair we made.

"I'm going to the reservation." Bella told me, grabbing an apple for show. I snorted and took a sip of the water in front of me. "I found some bikes, up at the Clearwater place last night on my way back from seeing a movie with Jessica. I'm going to try and get Jacob to fix them up." I stared at her, confused.

"Since when do you like motorcycles?" I asked her, following her out of the door, looking at the tarp. I picked up the edge of it and when I looked in there were two of them sitting there. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Bella, just try not to get killed, all right?" I asked her.

"Aren't you coming?" She asked me, stopping as she'd been getting into the truck.

"I've got my own Indians to deal with." I told her, putting the tarp back down. "It would be wise to make sure that Jacob doesn't tell Billy, because Billy will tell Charlie. And also, try not to lead him on too much. Jacob's a nice kid, and he doesn't need to feel heartbreak at sixteen." I told her, walking away into the house. I was kind of glad that Bella was getting out; I mean she hadn't made this kind of effort before. I guess the promise of being moved to Jacksonville was too much for Bella and she was waking up.

I hope so, because I was so tired of Bella just walking around like a zombie, doing nothing but what she had to. She never spoke to anyone besides me, and that was rare as well. Edward really had left her broken.

For two hours more I found things around the house to do. I cleaned up the kitchen, and my room. I even did the laundry. I started on the art project. It was going to be a replication of the Thinker. I had it out back. I had met the sculptor and he was a good man, as far as men went during that time.

"Swan!" I heard a yell and I looked up from my sculpture. It had come from the front of the house. I was wearing an apron and a plain plaid shirt that I'd gotten from the laundry, with a pair of my skinny jeans. My shoes were a pair of Charlie's boots. I walked around the house, shucking the apron, and the dust from the sculpture off of me.

There standing on my front porch were Sam and Paul. The other one was mysteriously missing. I didn't mind.

"Sam, Paul." I greeted. I threw a towel that I had been using behind me and walked to them. I didn't extend my hand, out of sheer force. I knew they wouldn't shake it, and I didn't want to look like a fool with my hand stuck out.

"Are you ready to go?" Sam asked. I glanced around me. I didn't think I needed anything special. I already had my wallet if I needed it.

"Are we running or driving?" I quietly asked, glancing at my car. I would need the keys to my car if I was going to be driving back. I didn't see their cars though.

"You'll be driving; we'll run along beside you. When you get to the reservation Paul will get in the car, to tell you the way to my house." He told me. I nodded and walked inside, getting my keys. When I came back they were gone. I sighed and walked to my Lamborghini, turning it on and revving the engine before slowly driving to the reservation. It took the same fifteen minutes to reach the treaty line as the day before. I stopped at the line and waited for Paul to get in the car, unlocking the door.

He came out of the trees soon after I stopped, and opened the door being a little rougher than necessary but I really could care less by now. I didn't speak to him, only driving along the road.

"Turn right." Paul said. His voice was gruff and rough. He sounded like someone who had seen a lot of troubles. Strangely I kind of wondered what they were. "Left." I did as he said and soon we were to the house that I was probably going to be seeing a lot of from now on. It was a wooden, cabin-like house, quaint and homely. I liked it. The house even had a ton of flowers around it, and it was surrounding closely by trees.

I got out of the car and Jared came out of the house, doing that thing with Paul, where they grab hands and then bump chests. It was kind of strange. Sam came out of the forest soon, and they all headed into the house, Paul pausing for me.

I walked quietly up the steps of the house, observing everything. It seemed so surreal, that I was hanging with wolfs and no one seemed to have tried to kill me yet. It seemed though that Paul would be my escort today. How nice.

"Do I have to invite you in?" Paul sneered more then asked. I looked away from the cute purple flowers in the plant box to him, and blinked.

"No. I mean it's polite, but I don't have to be invited." I told him, confused. "Why?" I asked.

"The vampire show on T.V. says people have to ask bloodsuckers into the house." Paul shortly explained, going inside. I followed inside, rolling my eyes.

"You'll find that most presets for vampires that humans have are only there because we told them. For instance, the mirror thing. If someone accused us of being vampires, we could simply stand in front of a mirror and prove them wrong." I told his back as he showed me through the door. The house opened up immediately into the kitchen, and all of it was open, the living area was on the other side, but a table was in the middle. The floor was concrete and everything seemed to be made of wood. It was beautiful simplness.

"I love this house." I muttered to no body. Everyone in the room seemed tense. There was somebody new in the room, a young boy. He seemed almost scared, but angry at the same time. I didn't understand. How many of them were there?

"Thank you." A woman's voice said. I turned my head to look and there was a beautiful woman, well half of her was. Half of her face was normal, beautiful, but the other half had been damaged, scars lined her face and I would bet the rest of her body. I didn't want to stare even though my eyes did. I had my own scars and I didn't want people to stare at them either.

"This is Embry," Sam introduced from in front of the woman. I knew that meant something. He was protecting her in case I went after her. She didn't have the scent of a werewolf on her, but Sam's scent was all around her, and this house. That must mean that this is his house, or he spends a lot of time here. The woman sat down a lot of food, a large plate of food, and the wolves grabbed for it.

I wrinkled my nose at the food. I was never hungry but her food seemed good.

"Do you want some?" The woman politely asked. "You look like a stick." She joked. She seemed to be the only one who didn't out right hate my guts. I grinned crookedly at her, and it felt weird on my face, kind of stretched.

"Thank you." I told her, moving to the table. The other wolf's eyes never left my face and Sam stayed in between me and Emily the entire time. I didn't do anything, and even avoided touching the wolves. I grabbed a cookie, the things that she had set on the table. They were white macadamia nut cookies, my favorite. I still wasn't hungry but I ate it any way. It was good, melting on my mouth.

The wolves were all looking at me weird and I stopped chewing.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" I asked them. They looked at each other.

"Vampires don't eat human food." The new one said. I stared at him and smiled.

"I'm a little different, but most vampires don't eat human's food, because it tastes like the nastiest dirt that you have ever seen." I told them. "But, my gift is aging." I told them.

"Gift?" Paul questioned. "Bloodsuckers come with 'gifts'?" He stuffed an entire cookie in his mouth, and these cookies were almost as big as my entire hand. I ate the last of mine.

"There are a lot of theories out there about why, but yes we come with gifts. They can be as small as compassion, or love of gardening. I believe that it is something we were good at when we were humans. I age. Many people believe that I can simply turn into a human, but I can choose any age that I want to be, and be it." I told them, shifting where I was standing. The woman frowned.

"Would you like to sit at the table?" The woman said.

"I don't think that would make anyone comfortable." I admitted. There were three more chairs at the table, enough for all of us, but being surrounded by shape shifters probably wouldn't be a good idea, because as a vampire not only would they stink to me, they would also feel very uncomfortable with me sitting at their table.

"They can suck it up." The woman told me, slapping the shoulder of Sam and going to sit at the table herself. I hesitated before sighing and sitting down. I was beside Paul, and beside Jared. The woman was across from me, with Sam sitting close to her. I was a little cautious but it didn't seem like I would be killed.

"All right, then. Do you have any questions?" I asked quietly, leaving my hands in my lap and swallowing my venom. It was as if just being around them put my senses on edge.

"Can you show us your gift?" Jared asked, sitting forward. "You said that it's not turning into a human." The woman slapped Jared in the head.

"You can't just ask for something like that." The woman scolded. "That's personal!"

"No," I remarked. "I'm okay with it. It just hurts a little bit is all. I can show you guys. Do you have any age requests?" I asked them.

"Why don't you turn to three?" The woman interjected.

"Okay, ummm." I didn't know her name I realized.

"Emily." Sam told me. I didn't get any more information than their names. They were so secretive, like I'd track them down and kill every one of their families and them. I was too tired to do something like that.

I didn't close my eyes or any kind of anything, I just changed. There was no reason for it but because I didn't change my eyes caught the shocked, surprised, and disbelief as I turned from my eighteen year old self and morphed backwards through the ages until I reached three years of age. The pain was immense, but not as painful as it could have been. It was normal, anticipated. I didn't like surprises.

"Damn." I heard. I turned to Paul. He was staring at me disturbed. I took it upon myself to turn to twenty, a year after I was turned. "Fuck." He cursed again. I grinned, turning to be forty five.

"It's very useful, but it's also very painful to change." I told them, turning back to being my age. "When humans are bitten it is so painful, that there is no possible thing more painful to a vampire, not even death. At the same time we are experiencing death, as our heart races, and every cell in our body begins to turn into something stronger, different we are also experiencing pain that could take down anyone. Most people beg for death in that kind of situation. It'll be too late for them to be killed though by humans. Our cells will already be changing." I concluded.

They stared at me, contemplative, disgusted, or in Emily's face horror struck.

"When I was changed, it was back three thousand and so ago. I was the Queen to Amenhotep's Pharaoh. He loved me, in the wrong way. He killed our own daughter, my first born because I was not a willing partner to him. We have seventy days of mourning in our Ancient culture. I went to the royal gardens and…I was attacked by a vampire and changed." I told them, straightening my clothing. "It was not the hardest thing that _I've _been through."

"You just said that it was the hardest things that vampires could endure." Embry pointed out. I looked at him.

"True, but I'm the only vampire that can age." I started again. "When I am human, or even a minute off of when I was changed and I become so hurt that I would not live unless I change, it's very painful. It's like the change, only worse because after I am forced to change back I can go on a rampage…." I scratched my cheek and looked to them. Emily, the poor soul looked to have tears in her eyes while the rest had hard expressions on their face.

"What are the Cullens gifts?" Embry asked again, sitting forward a little bit. I smacked my lips together in contemplation. It would probably be a bad idea to tell them what they were, but why should I protect any of them? They had agreed to do what Edward wanted, what Jasper wanted.

"Alice can see the future." I told them, tugging my leg up and putting it under my butt as I sat on it. It was more comfortable to me. The boys were all seemingly hooked on what I was saying, and Emily seemed like a nice lady, with a nice heart. "It's very subjective though, because it depends on what you are planning. If you change your mind her vision will change."

"Wicked." Jared grinned and was slapped by everyone else around him. "Ow." I chuckled and surprised myself by doing it. Maybe…Maybe these people were good for me.

"Edward, he can read minds." I told them and collectively they sucked in a breath and it was rather comical to me. "It's not subjective, so if you meet him he can really read your mind at all times. He can't read mine or Bella's though."

"Why?" Sam asked his arm around the back of Emily's chair. I think they were all beginning to relax the more information that I gave them.

"We don't know why Bella is immune. We have a theory that because I change, and my mind stays the same, that it effects his ability to read my mind." I told them. "We aren't quite sure but that's the best one we could come up with." I reached out, taking another cookie into my mouth, just to be eating. My jaw hurt with the amount of talking that I was accomplishing right now. I don't think I've talked this much in months, since they left.

"What about-" Embry started off again but Emily stood up.

"I think we've questioned the girl enough for one day. Why don't you take her to see some of the sights of the reservation, Paul?" She asked Paul. I almost spit out my cookie. He was the one who hated me the most. Why would they put me with him?

"That's okay, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to. I can just stay here and help out?" I questioned. I didn't want to put anyone in any kind of situation that they didn't want to be in, and he didn't seem to want to be in any situation that involved me.

"No," Sam stood up. So their paranoia was coming back was it? "Some of us are going to be patrolling, while I have to work. Emily will be going about her day. Paul will entertain you." He ordered, nodding to Paul who looked sour. I sighed and ate the last of my cookie. I wasn't so hungry, but it was new to want to eat.

Maybe they really were best for me. This is the most I've eaten at once all week.

**Well it's here. I've actually written quite a bit for the sequel to this one but I'm still upset about it. I guess that's just me. I've kind of got a problem now because I have so many feels. I watched The Fall with Lee Pace in it and I think my heart nearly imploded. So I've got all of these feels, and all I can do is write…and watch Smallville but I am currently writing. It's getting kind of hard. Eh.**

**I hope you liked this chapter!**


	7. A Truce

Paul took me around with him. Apparently he had gotten his GED or something, because he didn't have to go to school. I was only guessing though, seeing as he looked so grown up that he could very well have been an adult and out of school.

We went to get some food for Emily, apparently the wolves eat a lot or that's what Emily told me before we headed out. It was very uncomfortable in my car as Paul sat in the passenger seat. The entire time there was an atmosphere of hate radiating from his side of the car and it was actually extremely irritating. I haven't felt irritated in a long time, only ever sad, or angry. I can feel the anger coming on quick though, the more Paul mumbled under his breath. It started out that I could ignore it but now I think he just wants me to attack him, so he'll have a real reason to take my head off.

Right now we were driving by the cliffs, and to the beach. It must be nice down there. I didn't get to go, because of the former treaty, when Bella and the humans went. I wonder if it was as salty as the ocean down there? Wasn't it the ocean? I think it is, we are in Washington after all.

"Can I stop down there?" I asked Paul, pointing at the beach. Paul grimaced but nodded.

When I pulled in it seemed that we had found some place that others didn't go too much because there weren't many people. I sat down on the beach and rolled the legs of my pants up, which wasn't that hard. I've lost so much weight that all of my clothes were becoming too big. Only my skinny jeans seemed to even fit me anymore. It was a tiny bit annoying, but I digress.

"What are you doing?" Paul asked coming up to stand beside me and look down. I looked up at him.

"I'm going to wade in the surf." I told him, pointing out to it. "Maybe next time I come I can wear a swim suit. That way I can go swimming." I smiled. That was a nice thought. I hadn't really been in the ocean since I came out of it so long ago. It would be nice to just go in and stay. I wasn't a help to anyone here anyways.

"…stupid bloodsucker…" Paul grumbled and he cracked my dream. That's when the anger got the best of me, after so many months. I couldn't believe that I'd kept going this long without shutting him up.

"Do you have a problem?" I asked, shooting up from my spot on the ground. "I didn't ask to come on your land. I didn't ask to be here. I'm sorry that you are stuck escorting me, and I'm sorry that for some reason you people seem to hate me for no reason. I can't help that I'm a vampire but I'm sorry that you can't like me because of it." I ranted. "I can't change anything. So why don't you and your buddies get off your pedestals and realize that I want to be a vampire about as much as you guys want me to be one. So stop hating me for something I can't control." I finished, sighing exasperatedly. "Anything that _you _want to get out in the open?" I asked him starkly.

"Why are you _here?" _The mutt asked me. I rolled my eyes and I threw my hands up in the air. Walking away from him was about the only thing I could do to keep my calm.

"I'm here because your leader told me to come-"

"Not here, but here. Why are you putting more humans in danger by staying here with people? We hate you because we don't understand you." Paul said quietly. I was surprised, that was very insightful. Looking back to him he had both of his hands in his pockets, and was staring at me, not so much hatefully but more as if he was re analyzing me. I raised my eyebrows.

"That's a little more insightful then I thought you could think." I snorted. Paul scowled. "The answer to your question is because I am selfish. Partly. I think most of it is because on some levels I don't want to be near humans, but on a more in depth level I crave it. I want to be in the loop, and not just that. I want to know that if it comes to it; I won't die having no one there with me. I want to have people there, to have someone who will notice if I die, even if it is just in passing." I looked out on the ocean. It was nice here.

"Why don't you just find some vampires?" Paul asked.

"Are we having a civil conversation?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows at him, and wading a little farther into the water, sighing. The splash of the water on my skin felt nice, it felt like something that I hadn't felt in a long time. It could never compare to the cool feeling of Jasper against me but it was a different kind of comfort. When it comes down to it, this has always been a way for me to have an escape plan. I could always turn to the ocean and know that its depths were waiting for me to return to them.

"Just answer the question." Paul muttered and I only heard him because he followed me out farther into the waves. They were coming up to my knees, though they kind of nearly blew me over because I had lost so much weight. Maybe I should work on that…I still wasn't hungry.

"I don't find other vampires because most vampires like to drink from humans, and I don't want to change them, or myself. We don't coexist well. They can't mainstream, and being nomads, which is roaming without being in the lives of humans is lonely. They usually only do that when they have a mate, someone who can travel with them. I don't have anyone to travel with." I answered, running my hands in the water.

"I thought you found your mate with that blonde bloodsucker?" Paul questioned. I flinched, sighing.

"Yeah, you, me and Bella. Unluckily for me, it seems I was wrong." I splashed a bit of water, ruffled my hair and turned around. "I'd like to go by Jacob Black's. My sister is supposed to be there. Is that okay?" I asked of him. I felt a different kind of understanding, not necessarily friendly, as we could tolerate each other now.

After I let Paul drop his stuff off at Emily's, it was just as awkward as before as Paul stayed right in front of Emily while I was in the room. I didn't mind, because I kind of understood. My anger had returned to a simmer. I hadn't noticed it before I blew up, but I think the argument with Jasper really made me angry. I don't want to stay sad, or ready to kill myself. I wanted to have some kind of feelings, and if anger is all that I was going to get, then this was all right.

When Paul, and me by extension, finished taking in the bags, and Emily was done trying to make me feel comfortable, despite Paul and then Sam's when he came in, protection and resistance, I left. Technically Paul and I left, but he decided to follow my car as a wolf. I don't understand why he would want to unless he wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to kill anyone here. Had I not already proven that I wouldn't? Jeez, this guy makes me angry.

It took me awhile to find Jacob's house, because I'd never been there but I'd asked for directions from Paul, Sam, and even to make sure, I called Bella and told her that I would be coming over. She actually seemed excited about being there. For once she'd shown….emotions. It was surprising. When I found the house it looked worn down, like it had been lived in for a long time. It was cute, and homely in a different way than like Emily's house. It seemed that all of the people on the reservation had houses that were lived in, not perfect, or even perfect looking but they were nice, something you could actually live in, not clean in.

Bella said they would be outback, in the shed. I parked my car, not really caring if there was dirt on it, or if there was a dent in it, though there wasn't. It was so unusual to look at the car and not care about it, when I once loved it so much I broke a human's nose over it. I scanned the woods around me for a sight of the beautiful wolf, but Paul was at least good at making sure that no one saw his wolf form.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets, as it was always cold and at least drizzling in Forks and apparently on the reservation as well. I walked quietly to the shed and the door was open. So I was lucky enough to really get a view of a happy Bella. She was doing better. It made a smile that hadn't been on my face in so long return. She was happy with Jacob.

Then my smile dropped. Jacob could change at any minute, I could tell. There was no way that I would risk asking about the wolves. They didn't seem receptive to telling me anything about themselves. I don't even think that they like me at all. I was practically treading the line of death hanging out here with these people. I could tell that they were just waiting on me to mess up so that they could eat me alive.

"I'm 35, and you might be like, 32." Bella was arguing with Jacob over their ages.

"Oh, come on." Jacob laughed. I decided to knock on the door, glancing behind me. Someone was there as well, a younger boy, with the smell of the wolf on him. He wasn't changed yet, but he was on his way to it. Were they all just waiting to turn?

"Hey, Bella." I greeted and she stood up to hug me. I blinked at her and then at Jacob. She let me go soon, but it was still amazing to have even a little piece of my Bella back. "Jacob, it's good to see you again. Whoa, are you on steroids?" I questioned, poking his arm. "I swear there is something in this Quileute water." I joked.

"Na, but it wouldn't seem so bad if you had come to visit me." He teased, hugging me as well. I had to hold my breath from the wet dog smell that I was actually becoming accustomed to. It wasn't as bad when I was in human form anyways.

"What, no hugs for Quil?" The boy from before asked, holding out his arms. Jacob retaliated by slapping him over the head, laughing. He turned to us, pointing back at him.

"Quil, this is Bella, and her sister Belle." Jacob introduced us. "This is Quil." He pointed back to Quil and grinned at him and Quil was grinning as well, looking Bella and I up and down. I rolled my eyes and Bella chuckled at my exasperation. Yes, it was good to have Bella back, for now.

"Hi." Quil grinned then waved his hand back at the bike parts that were spread out on a blanket on the ground. The thing looked so beat up and the parts were covered in grease and oil. "So the bike building story is true." He said. I wondered when he had heard that from Jacob. This was the first time that Bella had been here as far as I knew but of course I was out pretty late last night.

"Oh, yeah, yeah. I taught him everything he knows." Bella joked. I felt awkward, out of place even.

"What about the part where you're his girlfriend?" Quil asked. I snorted, and started laughing hysterically at the awkward situation. I didn't think about it but I fist bumped Quil and he grinned at me.

"Uh, we're friends you know." Bella clarified. Jacob looked like he was scared to death, and yet like he was going to beat Quil alive.

"Way to burn him, Bella." I laughed. It had been so long since I'd laughed and talked so much.

"Actually, remember I said she's a girl and a friend." Jacob clarified. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure you did." I teased him and he pouted at me.

"I don't remember that distinction being made." Quil joined my teasing and I grinned at him, high fiving him. They both looked so awkward about the situation. I could feel the glare that Bella was sending me. I didn't care because this is the most emotion that I'd seen on her face since she woke up.

"So, Quil, you have a girlfriend? That's awesome." Bella laughed and I moved to her and knuckle bumped her to. She laughed and leaned her head on my hip, still looking at Jacob's friend. Jacob was laughing like crazy and he barely managed to stop.

"Yeah, right. Quil's actually taking his cousin to prom." Jacob sent the teasing right back. Quil cringed playfully, his jokiness gone and he laughed sarcastically at Jacob.

"Yeah, Haha, that's still a riot." Quil dully stated, his face straight. I laughed again, placing my arm around Bella's shoulder. "You want funny, Black? I'll give you funny!" He went after Jacob, laughing. I watched them enthusiastically fight, shouting out things to each other that were actually really funny.

"I got five bucks on Jacob." I bet.

"No way man, look how buff they both are." Bella told me, pointing at them even as Jacob put Quil in an over the shoulder hold. It was fun to watch them but then I saw movement by the door and Paul was standing there. I didn't think the two friends could split any quieter than that.

"Belle." Paul stated, glaring at the two people, and glaring extra hard at Bella.

"Sorry, I forgot you were in the car." I smiled at him, but it didn't reach my eyes. "I came to see how Bella was, and to see if Jacob was doing the motorcycle." I explained falsely or mostly falsely to the others, moving over to stand beside Paul. I grinned at the people there but they were glaring at Paul, while Bella just looked so confused. "Bella, this is Paul." I introduced, assuming that Jacob and Quil already knew him.

"It's nice to meet you." Bella said. Paul was quiet before he turned to me.

"I need to go." Paul told me, quietly. "Sam called a meeting." Paul told me, glancing at the other people in the room. I looked to and sighed.

"I have to go guys. I see you back at the house?" I asked Bella. She nodded at me and I nodded back. "Bye Jake, Quil." I walked away, following Paul as he made his way to my car. I blinked and sighed. Opening the car doors and getting in with Paul I cranked the car and started back to Emily's house, which I now realized must be their default meeting place. Two other cars were there, one looked like a brand new red truck, and the other a beat up old pick-up truck. I parked the car and Paul leaped out of it.

I frowned and followed after him, locking my car after me. There really wasn't much that I could do; I bet they would want me in there about as much as I wanted to be surrounded by shape shifters again. So instead of going in I sat down on the steps to enter their house. My mind brought up all kinds of things about today. Considering how Bella and I have been acting since they left, I think it's safe to say, even though they would rather I was dead, that the Quileute people were good for us. We were becoming more…us.

"**Well, you can leave…I can stay and take care of Bella. We can leave her happy, not feeling like she's worthless! I don't need to leave her. My gift-" I was interrupted.**

"**It's an illusion, Belle!"**

I shuttered. Illusion. I was an illusion. All of this was an illusion isn't it? I'm going to wake up tomorrow not knowing and come down here and get eaten. I tangled my fingers in my hair. I just wanted to be okay again. I wanted to go back to before the birthday party, when everybody was happy and all we had to worry about were Bella's change and Victoria.

She probably wasn't even here, what with Edward and the Cullen family gone by now. Bella would be safe anyways, with these shape shifters here. It's my bet that they don't even worry about Victoria, after all they were made to kill us, ruthlessly. They couldn't kill me if I really tried, probably. I've been in so many wars, trying to better my existence.

I was even in the WW's. It was hard to do, because I was old but still a vampire. After that long though, I barely even noticed it past a registry. When that kid used the scalpel last month and cut himself open, I didn't even have a registry of it. How long had it been since I'd even fed? I can't help but wonder how dark my eyes are by now. I wasn't thirsty for blood, so that was probably the reason behind my weight loss. It couldn't be the lack of human food, because I don't actually need that to live.

"Hey." I jumped up, hearing the strict voice of Sam. I turned around and all of the boys were out of the house. "Why are you out here?" He gruffly said, glancing at Paul.

"Uh, he said it was a meeting. I figured that I should stay out here, so you could have privacy. I swear that I can't hear any better than a human in this form." I told them, my arm rising in a mock scout's honor. I don't know anything about the scout's honor. Apparently that was clear.

"That's from Star Trek." Embry commented, pointing at my hand. I let it drop to my side.

"Sorry, I don't know the actual scout's honor thing." I told them. "I can pinky promise if it really bothers you." I offered sarcastically. Having Paul trail me all day was a rush that I didn't need. I want to go home and sleep. I was so tired.

"Go home for now. It's almost the end of the day. Paul has patrol. He is your designated escort for the foreseeable future." Sam ordered. I felt the pool of anger in me spark at being told what to do by someone so young. I let it die down, pushing it under the rug. It was good to have emotions again, but also annoying as I rediscovered my reactions all over again. Paul had about the same reaction except he started shaking angrily.

"Sam-" Paul argued, stepping toward him.

"Enough." The voice came back, the one that spoke orders that the others followed. "You and she get along, and if you phase or she phases, you two can take care of it." Sam turned to me. "We've decided to trust you more, from what Paul has gathered you _seem _to be in control, and pleasant. Emily will be here tomorrow, one of us will be patrolling at all times, and we will know when you hit the line and we'll follow you." Sam informed me, moving forward. While they all stood in a semicircle facing me, I stood on the ground, a few feet away from the steps. What can I say? I had been surprised.

"Okay, I understand." I told him, nodding. "I'll be over here as soon as I can tomorrow. I was thinking that I could tell you about any decade you were curious about. If you name any significant event, I have a story that goes with it." I promised, smiling. "I really want you guys to like me. I don't like having enemies, it brings back bad memories."

"You are on the right track. So far we have had no complaints." Sam told me, and I watched a small smirk, really a small, tiny smile if I do say so myself, appear on his face. I felt proud, that maybe I had really accomplished some kind of test and my reward was just a bit more of their trust.

And I would continue to gain their trust as we talked for days. Paul was always with me, and the more time I spent with him, the easier it was for us to talk. It was nice; he was really a good guy once you got to know him. He liked Def Leppard, and I had a story with them, having known the lead singer and having gotten his autograph. We both enjoyed the water, and ice cream at a diner that he'd taken me to on the reservation that one of the pack's mothers owned.

"So, why are you so skinny?" Paul asked me, one of the times we were eating. It was a little past mid-day and we'd stopped at the diner; Sue's Cream was the name. Paul and I were comfortable around each other. I half expected that it was Sam's doing, ordering him to like me or something.

"It's a long story." I told him, sucking on a straw to try and get some of the thick milkshake up the straw. It was all I had eaten in a while. I was nearly sickening now. I couldn't even look in the mirror any more. I looked like a skeleton with bleached skin stretched over it. Not so much bleached, that was kind of over exaggerated, because my natural tan, being from Egypt was still there.

"Tell me." Paul ordered. I rolled my eyes. "You eat almost nothing when you are with us, and we are with you every day. When do you…." Paul struggled with his words and I snorted in humor at his inability to see me as a vampire. Had they even seen me as a vampire? I highly doubt it.

"Feed?" I offered for him. He nodded. "Well, when we get thirsty enough. If we don't drink for a long time, sometimes bad things can happen, a lot of bad things. We can bite other vampires, for instance, and that never goes down well. Or we can massacre an entire village, I mean city, if we don't drink for long enough." I finished my milkshake, reaching over and stealing some of Paul's fries.

"How long has it been since _you _fed?" Paul asked me, for once showing curiosity. Trusting me more and more each day, Paul was starting to become a real friend. This question though, if not answered correctly, could set me back a lot, and I was really starting to fit in with the wolves.

"I'm old, that you know already. The older a vampire is, and the longer they are around blood, the less they need to feed. I can go months, if I so chose, without drinking. It burns a little, as I approach the three month line, but I've recently found that…extreme emotional trauma can cause a lack of hunger, or thirst, in a vampire." I slowly stated. I motioned the waitress, a nice Indian girl, for the check. I always managed to pick up the check. I was even helping Bella to pay for her and Jake's truck, but she didn't know that. I'd only talked Jacob into it once I'd literally pleaded.

"Wait, so how long has it been since you've fed?" Paul asked. I'd avoided it for as long as I could manage. I didn't want to feed, I wasn't hungry. What would he do when he realized that I was unfed? Would he go tell the pack and ruin something that was making me feel better? It didn't matter, because he wasn't going to give up. I was going to have to give Paul a straight answer or he would never let this go.

"I don't know." I whispered. "I haven't fed since maybe two weeks before the Cullen family left." I muttered, placing exact change and thirty dollars in tips on the counter, leaving as swiftly as I could. I nodded to the owner, Sue Clearwater. She was an awesome person and I'd met both the daughter and the son. The daughter, Leah, seemed to hate the world and couldn't even look me straight in the face without a glare. Seth was nice, overly excited about a lot of stuff.

"Belle!" Paul shouted, following me. I would have waited on him anyways, the escort thing, hadn't been revoked. There was some kind of test by the pack that I hadn't passed to get rid of it, or maybe they just didn't want me alone on their land, I didn't know.

"Yes?" I asked, stopping at my car door.

"You have to feed." Paul stated and I crinkled my nose.

"I don't have to do anything." I stated, getting into my car. Paul growled and began to shake, standing outside of my car. I'd taken to leaving them unlocked, and the windows down. No one on the reservation would steal it, and even if they did I could afford at least ten of everything that they stole, no matter how expensive. Unluckily for me, this also meant that Paul could slam his hands down on my window, that was rolled down and talk to me.

"You are a danger to the people. You have to feed, or I'll tell Sam, and we'll have to kill you." Paul threatened. I turned the key in the ignition, holding his eyes.

"Do it." I told him, opening the door in anger and Paul backed up, still holding on to the door with white knuckles. "I don't know if you've noticed, Paul. I walked right into that meeting the first day, and I was practically yelling kill me. I was human, on the ground, and completely lacking any sense of the word defensive. I walked into a pack of shape shifters and never looked back. Ever since Jasper has left me, I've begged for someone to end my life. The only thing that has held me back is Bella." I slammed the door closed.

"Belle-" Paul interjected moving closer to me.

"No, I'm tired all the time; I'm being watched all the time. I haven't had feelings, real honest feelings, since Jasper left me. Do you know what it is like for me to know that I could be with my mate, but I won't? I do a lot for Bella; I've always taken care of her. I couldn't just leave her, but now I can't even manage to bite a mouse that's already dead because without Jasper I've lost the will to live." I tugged my hair.

"Belle, you can live without him." Paul grabbed my hand when I went to get back in my car. "The pack, we've been really cautious with you because we don't know a lot about vampires. Until Sam had the idea to sit and hear you out, we thought you were all bloodsucking leeches that thought about nothing but yourselves." I silently listened to him. It was a deep thought. Everything around the wolves was deep. They made things topsy turvy in my mind and I could never expect what I would do, or they would do.

"What does that have to do with anything? Most of us are still mostly human drinkers. Most of us, my friends, drink off of scum." I told him, trying to get out of his tight grip. "I can't live without Jasper. I don't know how to explain to you the feelings that one mate feels about another. It can be sudden, or take decades to develop. Once we meet though, that's it for us. We can't take not being with the other. Without them, death will find us, and most of the time it's by our own doing." I strongly told him.

"Well, I won't let you die, unless it's me taking your life." Paul growled, half sneering. I rolled my eyes.

"You're getting too attached to the bloodsucker, don't you think?" I asked him, finally releasing myself from his grip. "I'm not going to feed. I'm not hungry." I stated again, straightening my clothes.

"You need to drink. How long are you going to put Bella and Charlie in danger?" Paul pulled that card out. I glared at him.

"Don't you dare bring them into this." I warned him. "If there was any kind of danger to them, I would have already taken care of it."

"Not that way. Don't you think of how much it hurts Charlie to see you wasting away? And if you die Bella will only get worse, no matter how much Black tries." Paul told me, getting right up in my face. "I'll hold you to a deer's neck if I have to." He argued.

"The hell you will, boy." I told him, swelling up, figuratively. "You can take my car. I'm going home." I told him. "I'll come back later for the cliff diving, and if you bring this up again, I'll just leave and you people will be left with only half of the information you need." I turned and jogged off.

"This is ridiculous. Just get in the car." Paul told me, grabbing me but this time it was around the waist and he hauled me over his shoulder, walking back to the car.

"Put me down!" I yelled, knowing it was fruitless to beat on his back. I groaned when he slammed me into the passenger side seat. "This is stupid Paul, you're right. Why are you even caring? We've spoken about five times in the two weeks that you've been 'escorting' me." I argued as he buckled me in, as I refused to take part in this, my own kind of kidnapping.

"Yeah, but seeing as you've captured Emily's heart, and Sam's gone all fucking soft, I'm not going to deal with you being lost on my account." Paul told me, grinning, fake. I flinched when he slammed the door, and remembered my driver's door. It now had Paul's hands on the window part of my door. I would have to send it to get fixed later. When he got in the car, and started driving off, to where the cliff diving spot was I suppose, I folded my arms over my breasts and stared out the window, pouting.

Occasionally I looked at him and when I did once our eyes caught and I grinned.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"What for?" Paul asked, his voice still gruff from our fight.

"I think I needed to get yelled at." I told Paul, smiling, still staring out the window. "I'm really not that bad. If you can look past the fact that I'm a vampire, I think we might be good friends." I told him. "Plus, we don't really have a choice." I looked over to Paul. He alternated between looking at me and the road.

"Fine." Paul agreed. "I don't have a fucking choice anyways." He muttered, holding out his hand. I rolled my eyes at his cursing and just shook his hand. It was overheated, really overheated.

"Damn," I accidently cursed. "What are you like a human inferno?" I asked him, releasing his hand.

"Na, it's a wolf thing. We all run about 108 degrees, and we don't even get sick. It's a perk." Paul explained, though I noticed a little tightness in his eyes. I guess I couldn't just suspect him to give up all of the hate and caution at once.

"Yeah, it's nice." I nodded. "I can't get sick either. Though I don't run a fever either. Although, when I'm in my vampire form, or any vampire, I'm colder than humans should be. It's why we avoid touching people, or why the Cullen's did anyways. I can." I noted, looking out, searching for this area that we would be jumping from.

It hadn't been my idea, and I was a little cautious about this, but it sounded fun. At the very least I could watch the wolves do it. After all, what could jumping from a cliff hurt? I probably wouldn't be jumping anyways, I was a human right now and that would be disastrous if I got hurt. I haven't fed in a while, and as much as I am not hungry now, Paul was right I'd be putting everyone in danger if I got really hurt. I don't believe I would though. I might be a little angry around them, enough to argue, but I wasn't complete without Jasper. I felt hollow, and unpredictable.

I wanted Jasper back. I wanted my rings back, I wanted a wedding that would make Jasper and I happier than the one in Vegas. I want my family back. I want to go back, period. But I couldn't have Jasper and Bella both. There was no way that I could leave Bella anyways, or a reason that I should. What were the chances that I could find the Cullen family anyway? I have no idea where they've gone, and what they are planning. All I know is that they aren't here.

I couldn't forgive Jasper either. He needed to face that he'd tried to get me to leave my sister. No matter if he is my mate, my sister is one of the most important people in my life and to try and force me to leave her is something that I should have killed him for. But he was my mate. I can't kill my mate, I love them too much. I loved Jasper too much. They weren't good for me, but neither were the wolves.

I'd picked things up, noticed things, about the boys while I've been here. They eat a lot, that much was obvious, they have stashes of clothes hidden throughout the surrounding area, just in case they get angry and change. I've noticed that the shaking is a warning that they are getting to angry, and are going to change. There are so many things to notice. There were so many things in my head right now that I couldn't even begin to organize them. I've gone from a flurry on no brain needed; because despite the teacher's trying their classes were never hard for me to understand, to a flurry of supernatural activity to me.

Mentioning activity, I was proud of Bella. She wasn't healed, but she was better. Jacob was good for her. She was always hanging out with him, fixing that bike, and sometimes I would go over and watch them. Paul would always wait outside and at some point come in to tell me we had to leave. It seemed that Sam and the pack had a meeting almost every other day a week. I don't know why, I always stayed outside, out of common courtesy.

We were here. It was a nice drop off, really high up. The cliff had trees surrounding it and a road off to the side. The water was calm, or as calm as it could be. The clouds were on the edges of the sky, not hurting anybody.

Bella was off today, trying the bikes with Jacob, and she would probably pass by here on her way. Jacob had told me where they were going to try them out. It would have to be somewhere that Charlie couldn't see them because if he saw them Bella would be up in her room for the foreseeable future. I would probably get it to, just because he worries too much. I don't know if he really likes the fact that I'm hanging out with boys. I don't know, Charlie is a hard one to get a read on.

Silently I followed Paul, as he parked the car off to the side, down a road where no one would see it. He directed me on how to get to the cliff, where I could already see the other pack members laughing and having fun. I smiled when I saw Emily and Kim, a new addition to the pack mentality. She was Jared's girlfriend. That had been an interesting experience for me. Apparently they imprint, a whole love at first sight thing I'm guessing. They didn't tell me out straight but I've heard the word being spoken and I've used context clues for it.

She was a nice girl, but so was Emily. They all kind of have a sweet disposition, something that I don't think I could have if I tried. I just don't have the confidence to be sweet. I don't know.

I was wearing a bikini swim suit, but I had cut off jeans on and a white shirt on to cover it up. If all else fails, I could just go down and swim on the beach below us. There was a little shoulder at the base of the cliff. It was probably where they would be coming back up at. I don't know.

"Hey, Belle." Kim greeted me. She'd come without all of the caution of the others. She was naive, and trusted me despite all of the warnings that I'm sure she's heard. I liked her she was nice. She even told me how she and Jared had gotten together. She told me about how she had been in love with him for ages and then their eyes had met when he came back and he'd imprinted on her. I thought it was a beautiful story, and lucky. He just knew she was the one for him with the meeting of eyes.

"Kim, how's your day been? Mrs. Lucas failed you yet?" I teased her. She frowned and pouted, walking to me with Emily.

"I wish. Instead I have double the work, and now I have to help Jared with her work." Kim told me.

"Well, maybe if you and Jared weren't making kissy face all the time you might get your projects finished." I teased her, nodding to Emily who giggled and grabbed my arm, pulling me with her to the cliff where Paul and the others were joking around with each other. I smiled at Sam when he nodded to me.

"Oh, shut up. Paul's rubbing off on you." Kim complained, blushing in her russet skin.

"No, I'm afraid to say I've always been this sarcastic and insulting." I told her, kicking off my flip flops. The boys were laughing and doing their job poking fun at Jared. They were the newest bonded. It must be some subconscious rite of passage for them to be teased. I laughed as they sent Jared over the edge. I watched him splash to the bottom, diving in. It looked like a long way down for a human. If they dived from here and got hurt they probably would never be found again.

"Uh…I think I shouldn't do this." I muttered, scouting back. Emily grinned at me comfortingly.

"Oh, it's no problem." Emily told me.

"Uh, but I'm human now, and I can't take the whole rock piercing through my stomach like I could in vampire mode." I giggled and moved back. "I'll just go ahead and swim." Kim caught my arm though.

"Nope, you've got to do it. It's a part of being on the Rez." Emily sang. "Paul, why don't you help her?" Emily asked. I groaned.

"Emily!" I whispered, almost shouting at her. She had this insane idea that Paul and I were going to fall in love. It was overly stupid, and a bad idea. I wasn't in love with Paul, he wasn't my mate. And I wasn't Paul's imprint; he would have cursed aloud if I had been. Trust me, Paul would have let everybody know the moment it had happened.

"Come on, we all do it. It's how we dive." Emily told me. "Sam and I can go first, and then you can go with Paul." Emily turned and glared at Paul, warning him against the protests I could see in his head.

"Fine." I muttered, seeing Sam staring me down. He walked to Emily, grinning as her attention returned to him. I could almost feel the love they were radiating. It was kind of painful to see it, and know that Jasper and I wouldn't have that any more. I almost missed Sam taking Emily over. It was cute. She was all wrapped up in him and they jumped together, at the same time. I watched them hit the water, both of them wrapped together. I was not looking forward to that.

"All right, let's get this over with, bloodsucker." Paul said. I rolled my eyes and stood at the top of the cliff. I really didn't want to be wrapped in Paul's arms. I felt like it would be betraying Jasper. But he wasn't here to have this experience with me and that was his fault.

"Don't seem so bummed." I teased him, opening my arms. He grimaced and wrapped his own arms around me. He was so warm, and his arms were more…comfortable then I thought they would be. He smelt like wet dog though, and a little bit of forest. Probably from running around the reservation so much.

I felt him push off from the earth and my heart jumped into my throat as I jumped from the cliff wrapped around Paul. A squeal came out of my throat but the rushing of the wind and the beating of my heart drowned it out. The rush was magnificent, and the feeling of being wrapped in someone's arms was warming, I missed it.

As we hit the water, heads first I flinched at the cold water. In the water I split from Paul, holding my breath and rushing to the surface. I flipped my hair back and gasped for air. "That was so awesome!" I shouted, starting to swim towards the little stretch of beach that would lead up back to the cliff.

Once I reached it I stumbled getting up. Turning back, Paul was right behind me and he was grinning. "We have to do that again!" I squealed, jumping in place. "Will you go again with me?" I asked him, moving forward to stare up at him. Why was everybody always taller than me?

"Sure. Why not?" Paul grumbled but the smile on his face was a tell that he had liked it to. Maybe Paul and I were friends, and I just hadn't known it yet.

"Thanks, Paul for jumping with me. You don't have to if you don't want to." I came back to my senses. "I know you don't like me too much, and I can't smell too good." I told him sheepishly.

"It's fine. I actually…enjoy spending time with you." Paul admitted, tentatively grinning at me. I smiled back. "It's a shock I know."

"Well, I like spending time with you to." I told him, hitting his shoulder. "Even if you do almost explode every time we have a conversation." I started back up the cliff, scaling it with ease. It was a well-worn path, but I guess they came out here often enough.

I think this was the best example of how close we were getting. This visit was wonderful. They looked at me with the same expression they would the humans around here, not like I was waiting to kill people.

**I hope you guys like this chapter! I have so many Jasper feelings right now it's not even funny. I'm literally dying on the inside right now because of it. I watched Jackson Rathbone's series, it's called Aim High. It's awesome, its hilarious and I have so many feelings. The episodes are kind of short and I was sad that it was over when I finished but it was pretty awesome. I should have known better then to watch it when I was still recovering from finishing The Fall. Now I'm going to be crying tonight for two different shows, and two different reasons. I hope you like the chapter and at least I had enough feelings to write some more on the sequel.**

**I'm going to go ahead and admit I've been neglecting it as of late but I've had writers block like mad. I'm still fighting it. I hope this thirteen page chapter makes up for it though!**


	8. A Movie

**The next day, after the cliff diving, when I left the reservation and arrived home, I was a little surprised when Bella was up waiting on me at home. I slowed to a stop when I was just inside the door. **

"**Bella?" I asked quietly, taking my jacket off. I'd put it on because it had gotten cold during the day while I'd been gone. I dropped the jacket onto a hook, and put my keys into the bowl on the table by the door. She was sitting in the living room and she jumped up when I walked into the door. **

"**Hey, Belle." Bella nervously smiled at me. I smiled back at her, cautious. She hadn't been out right speaking to me in a while. We were so caught up in other people's lives; in our own lives. "I was um…"**

"**Waiting for me?" I supplied for her. She nodded and I walked into the living room to speak with her. Whatever she was bringing up was making her nervous. I knew she didn't approve of me being around Sam and Paul. She always got really cautious when they were around, and when I mentioned them.**

"**Yeah. Uh I was just…Mike and Angela and everyone want to go to a movie tomorrow and I was wondering if you would want to go?" Bella asked me. "The guys miss you." Bella pleaded. My eyebrows rose.**

"**Since when do you hang out with people from Forks? I thought it was all about you and Jacob?" I asked her, leaning on a chair. I was tired. I didn't want to sit down and then have to go upstairs and sleep.**

"**Well, Jacob is coming as well. I just thought that maybe you'd want to go?" Bella asked me, pleading. "Please, I want as much interference between me and Mike as possible." Bella was begging and I could see so much emotion in her face, not saying she was feeling a lot at the moment, but she was so alive, and it was all because of Jacob.**

"**Okay. I'll go, I promise." I told her, raising my arms. "As long as Paul goes." I told her, pointing. She frowned, scowling a bit. "Why do you hate them so much?" I demanded.**

"**Jacob says they look at him funny…that they think they run the place." Bella explained. I rolled my eyes. Of course they would be creepy to an outsider.**

"**Trust me, nothing is wrong with them." I told her, and then paused. Turning into wolves didn't count did it? Oh well. I was so tired. "I'm going to bed. Wake me up when it's time to go."**

"**It'll be in the evening." I turned to her from where I was already headed up the stairs.**

"**I repeat, wake me up later." **

Now here I was, with Paul, waiting outside of the movie theatre. Bella was buying the tickets for everyone. Mike and Jacob were standing opposite each other, practically glaring at one another. It was so awkward that Paul and I were smirking at each other. They both wanted Bella's love, and they were so 'in love with' my sister that they couldn't even see that she only thought of both of them as friends.

Paul had only come if I agreed that it wasn't a romance, and that I'd buy his popcorn and drink. I was also going to have to help Emily make a cake just for him. I barely went past that one, since I didn't know how to make cakes very well. It was his fault if it didn't come out right, but of course if Emily was helping it would probably be great. She made good food. I'd like to say that I looked better, that her food was that good, but I looked the same, my bags deeper, because I wasn't thirsty, so I didn't drink blood.

"What are we seeing again?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Face Punch." Mike supplied. I snorted at the name. I was wearing my normal clothes, with a scarf to ward off the weather. It looked pitiful because I was so thin. "It's an action movie." Mike said. I think he was still a little upset that Bella made what he thought was going to be a date into a group thing. He currently only knew me and Bella. Plus, the tension was there between Paul and Jacob. I could almost see it. They wouldn't even stand by each other.

"Awesome." Paul grunted sourly. I rolled my eyes and slapped him. He was wearing a grey shirt and cargo shorts. He looked good enough to be in public, but I've seen so many women checking him out that I'm guessing he was looking better than just good. I admit, the muscles that blossomed from his shirt had caught my eyes as well.

I hadn't noticed the day before, but Bella had been hurt. I could see the cut just below her hairline. It was noticeable but not. Had I been a vampire I probably would have noticed. I might need to drink. I've thought about the argument with Paul and I was putting them in emotional danger. I could see Bella and Charlie looking at me when I wasn't looking. I'd seen Charlie trying to sneak more food to me. He hadn't done a very good job.

"So, uh…do you like action movies?" Jacob asked Mike, who was looking around. He didn't look good at all. His eyes were dark under them. It looked like he was sick but he had said he was fine when I asked about it.

"No, no not really." Mike said, shaking his head.

"I heard it sucked badly." Jacob said. I chuckled and turned around; using Paul's girth to hide my giggles. It was so awkward here. Face Punch. Of all the movies that Bella could have chosen, she chose the one with the weird name that told you all you needed to know about the movie. I was probably going to be bored through the entire movie. I bet its nonstop action and stupidity.

"Are you, uh, even old enough to see this movie?" Mike questioned Jacob. I snorted again and Paul turned around, putting his large meaty arm over my shoulder so he could hide his own laugh. "I mean, you know, without, like, adult supervision?"

"Right, yeah, well, she's buying my ticket for me." Jacob responded, nearly glaring Mike down.

"She's buying it. Okay." Mike nodded, looking down.

"It's like a pissing contest." Paul chuckled. I grinned at him.

"Over my sister. And they both have no idea they are wasting their time." I giggled, ducking under Paul's arm.

"How do you figure?" Paul asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"Please. If you knew how it felt to be without your mate, especially when you think it's your fault, then you'd know the pain." I told him seriously. "Bella will probably never date anyone again."

"So it's like imprinting?" Paul asked, wrinkling his nose.

"No, it's nothing like imprinting. There is no just being friends, or just acting like relatives." I told him. "There is a spark so heavy that friends may come first but love always follows. No one can say no to their mate. We are one living breathing match. I don't know how to accurately explain to you the feelings of mating. It's no submission, we fight. We disagree, but there is complete devotion to them." I tried to explain.

"Yeah, no submission there." Paul rolled his eyes.

"Um," I turned around when Bella started speaking. She had come back now, just arriving. Paul released my shoulders and returned to being the ever silent hater he is. I think it's his natural reaction to being in anyone's presence but the pack's. "Jessica bailed, and Angela got the stomach flu, and Eric's taking care of her." Bella told us.

"So it's just us," I counted mentally. "Five?" I asked and she nodded.

"Great." Jacob and Mike said, though Jacob was a little more enthusiastic. I think it was still faked though. After all I can imagine Jacob wasn't excited to be sharing Bella's affection with Mike. Silently Paul and I followed them. Paul held the door open for me and I nodded.

Once all the way into the theatre it was hard finding seats all together. We managed though. Bella was surrounded by Mike and Jacob, while I sat on the other side of Jacob, with Paul on the other side of me. I think I was just the barrier, as Jacob wanted to sit next to Paul about as much as Paul wanted to sit next to Jacob.

"Why do you hate Jacob so much?" I whispered to Paul, moving closer so Jacob wouldn't hear. I don't think it really mattered, seeing as both Mike and Jacob were crowding around Bella, trying to get her to respond to their subtle, in Jake's case, advances. They both had their hands on Bella's arm rests, and it was hilarious to see her fidget in between them.

The movie itself was horrible, with easily fake blood, and impossible feats that humans couldn't do, or was just luck. I mean, why would some guy saw off one's head only to turn around and have it happen to them. And there is no way his head would have flown away like that. This movie was horrible.

"I don't hate him, per say." Paul told me. I looked at him. He was watching the screen but it was with a look of disgust, probably the horribleness of it. From now on I was choosing the movie we went to see. I'd chosen the theatre this time. I didn't want to go to the one in Forks. It would remind me of Jasper too much. Just sitting here was bad enough. "It's just…when he turns, and he is going to soon," I had told them to expect it but it had been pretty obvious to them already. "he will take over the pack, because he is of the Black family." Paul informed me. I glanced at Jacob. "He doesn't deserve it. Sam has worked hard."

"I don't know. I think Jacob has a lot of potential. Plus, if Sam wasn't the pack leader then he would have a lot more time to spend with Emily." I commented, looking back at the screen and rolling my eyes at the up close view of a screaming woman getting punched in the face repeatedly.

"Okay," Mike interrupted. I looked across everyone to look at him run. "I think I'm going to throw up." He was out the door. I stood up sighing. We all gathered our things, quietly because some of the others who were still watching the movie. I lead Paul out and frowned as Mike ran into the bathroom that conveniently had been right beside the theatre that we had been inside. I sighed and turned to Paul, Bella and Jacob.

"What a marshmallow!" Jacob laughed.

"Yeah, that about sums up Mike." I grinned. "Hey, Paul and I are going to wait outside. It sounds like Mike's going to be awhile, and the movie is almost over." I told the two, grabbing Paul's hand without thinking and dragging him outside.

"Since when do you make decisions for me?" Paul gruffly asked. I turned to him, laughing.

"Please, Jacob was practically glowing at the chance to one up Mike while he was sick. I tried to get us out so he could have his moment, unless of course you wanted to have a try at Bella?" I asked him, pouting. I released his warm hand and realized that Paul was a little close.

"What if…I wanted to try it with a different Swan?" Paul asked me. His eyes smoldered. I did _not _see this one coming. My heart contracted at the thought of losing another friend but I honestly didn't see this coming. My feelings for Paul was never love like that. I only wanted to be friends with Paul, and I didn't think I could stand losing him to.

"I-I…" I stuttered. "You…I already told you about mates, and you have imprints." Paul continued moving closer, until I was backed up against someone's car. With a jolt I realized it was mine.

"So? That doesn't mean we can't try." Paul seriously told me, moving my hair away from my face. "You're lonely, aren't you? I'm lonely. I'm not saying that it has to be completely serious. Why can't we find love for a while?" Paul asked me.

"Please, Paul don't make me say it." I told him, my eyes squinting in pain. "I enjoy spending time with you, and the pack but…I don't, I can't feel that way. I just told you earlier that mates, we can't love someone else. That's it for us." I pushed him a little away from me and he frowned but moved away from me. "And until recently I was almost positive that you didn't even like me as a friend."

"You should know by now I try to hate everyone." Paul argued. "I want to love someone. I don't want to imprint. I want to be able to choose whoever I want to love. I want to love you." I cringed.

"Paul," I said. "I can't love you. I like you, as a friend and I…I cherish you. But I also like the pack, and cherish them. You make me better, you make me happy. But you can't fix me. Only he can fix me and I know that I could never live without him. I'm married to him, even if he still has the ring. Jasper is my everything, besides Bella. I'm hurting deep inside me, and all over me, because I'm away from him, because I can't love him from afar." I explained.

"Well, I've got time. I can always try and convince you." I groaned at his statement.

"Right now Paul, the only priority I have is staying angry at Jasper, and getting Bella better." I firmly told him. "Please, don't take this all wrong and think I'll hate you for this, but your feelings, they won't be returned. Why don't you choose someone else?" I asked him.

"I chose you." Paul stated. "And I like you better than anyone I've seen before. I've healed you, at least a little, haven't I? Hanging out with me, it's fun and you laugh, you look almost happy-" I cut him off.

"Almost. That's a key word there." I told him, standing up from where I'd been still leaning against the car. "Paul, please, don't make it harder on yourself. As mad as I am at Jasper, I'm still completely in love with him." It hurt, just a little to admit that. I wanted to be with Jasper but my pride, and my love for my sister wouldn't allow it. He probably didn't even want to be with me now anyways. I'd thrown such a fit, and made a mess. I still believe that I chose right though, because Bella wouldn't have made it without me.

"Why not make him jealous with me then-"

"Paul!" I shouted. "Stop, you're ruining everything." I firmly told him. He was shaking. "I don't want to friend zone you, or hurt your feelings. You don't love me, and you don't belong with me. We wouldn't be right for each other past friendship. Even if I fell in love with you, what would you do when you imprinted? I'd be left like Leah is, moping around and incomplete." I told him. I'd heard the story when Emily had been crying one day and Sam hadn't been there.

Then I saw something that made me jump. Jacob came stumbling, and half storming out of the theatre. "Jake!" I shouted, running for him. "Are you okay?" I asked him, grabbing him and stumbling almost over when he collapsed. My body was so small that had Paul not arrived to grab him, I'm sure that I would have been broken on the concrete.

"Get him in your car." Paul ordered. I knew what was happening in that instance, his changing was coming. We had to get him back to the reservation. I opened the car door as Paul set him in the passenger seat.

"I'll take him back. Tell Bella and Mike where we went." I ordered Paul.

"No, you don't need to be near a newly changing wolf." Paul disagreed. Jacob groaned.

"Go. I've got this." I told him, walking around to my door and peeling out. I could see Paul growling and shaking in my rear view mirror. I didn't care. I had to get Jake out of here. It was the only thing on my mind. It was the only thing that I needed to do right now. Jake was pretty bad. He was burning up, and groaning. Something must have been hurting. Every once in a while he would jerk a little.

And then he started shaking. I slammed the brakes on, right in the reservation, luckily, and pulled off to the side of the deserted road. I got out, slammed my door closed and ran over to Jake's side of the car, stumbling to pull him out. "Come on, Jake. I need you to work with me. It'll be better soon." I coaxed him.

"It hurts." He whined and I could tell he was going to change very soon, because that whine almost sounded like a wolves.

"We have to get you into the woods, before you change." I told him, carrying him, stumbling into the woods. My main goal was to get him away from the road. Then I would call Emily's house, try and get Sam just in case Paul hadn't.

I was just out of view of the road when Jake collapsed completely and began to fiercely shake. I took plenty of steps back and screamed when I was too late. Jacob turned into a large wolf, and as he did, disoriented, his paw racked the side of my head.

It took an entire chunk out of it and I blacked out, losing all thought process and connection to the world.

**I hope that didn't come on to suddenly. I like this chapter. It kind of came out of me in a blur and I didn't realize that the characters had decided what they wanted to do before I'd already written it. I hope you guys like it. **

**And so the plot thickens!**


	9. A New Wolf

Blood. Blood. Had to get Blood. Need Blood. Sweet rich, near.

Growl, bite, drink. Disgusting. Need it. More. More.

Thoughts became blurred, unclear. All I could think of was blood, getting blood. I wasn't alone when I regained consciousness. There had been wolves, large monstrous, disgusting smelling wolves. They'd run after me, herding me. It made me angry, but I needed that sweet nectar that runs through the veins of the animals they lead me to. I needed it. Deer, mouse, anything we came across. They kept me straight. I was so thirsty, nothing seemed to quench the thirst. How long had my stomach been cramping like this? Was I even capable of thoughts beyond blood.

Wasn't I thinking now? I don't know how much I drank, or of what, all I knew was one moment I was sucking another carcass dry before my brain caught up with my physical being and I dropped to my knees, vomiting the blood of to many victims, the blood that hadn't already been digested by my venom, which was a great deal. I wasn't thirsty. It burned. I was tired. Pain, pain.

Hurting.

Wolves. Circling me. I looked up. They were all around me. Did I know them? They seemed so familiar. Who were they? Who was I? What was going on? I don't remember….So much pain. I vomited again. It was straight blood.

Then I remembered my life. Pharaoh, Egypt, Rome, Italy, ocean, brazil, the world, the little orphan girl, Charlie and Renee, Swans, Bella, all of it. Jasper. It was here. The wolf pack, Sam, Emily, Kim, friends, wolves, and even Jacob. Oh, Jacob. My head hurts. Pain. I clutched it, screaming in more pain. Always pain.

"Belle?" I looked up, blood was still on me, everywhere. Where were my clothes? Why were they ripped? What happened? Sam. Sam was there, and Paul. He was there to.

"Sam?" I asked, my once beautiful voice broke in his name. "Paul?" I turned between the two. "It hurts." I whined, letting my head drop and my body followed after, Sam caught me.

"I know, Belle. It's alright. Can you be around humans? Are you okay?" Sam asked me, gently picking me up.

"Wait, I've got her." Paul took me from Sam and I groaned. The warmth, familiar warmth. I love warmth. I was so cold. My eyes hurt. My brain hurt.

"Belle, are you all right around humans? Have you drunk enough?" Sam questioned of me. I rolled my eyes to him.

"Safe…" I muttered. "Drunk too much." I licked my lips. "Vomited it back up. I need to turn human again, sleep." I couldn't get full sentences out. Painful. I twitched, slowly and with a cry and tears welling in my eyes, I turned human. I was so cold here. Why was there snow?

"You're in Canada. We tried to keep you out of the path of humans." Paul told me, starting to run, fast. It hurt. I didn't care. Everything hurt. My eye lids fluttered shut, and I sighed. It was warm here.

"Sorry, argued." I muttered. "You are a good man." I complimented, patting Paul's chest. He snorted.

"It's fine. I should have taken Jacob." Paul told me. My eyes popped open.

"Jacob?" I remembered why I'd turned in the first place. I gasped.

"He's all right, beating himself up over you, and won't speak to anyone. He thinks it's his fault. It was pretty graphic. His paw caught your head, and yanked half of it off. By the time we got to you, you'd already started convulsing. He didn't understand why he was a wolf, but he could understand he'd just taken some one he'd loved like a sister's head nearly off." I looked up at him questioningly and he looked back down at me. "We can read each other's minds when we are wolves."

"Oh, that actually…a lot of sense." I noted, lightly. The wolves were all around us, protecting us. I felt so well taken care of.

"How many times has this happened?" Paul asked me.

"Six times, ironically two times in one year." I was beginning to be able to speak, and to think again. It was all coming back to me. My brain's regrowth was probably the reason for the slow intake of information, and well slow everything. I had to have taken more than a day to reform my brain. It was one of the main, if not the main, muscles that run my body.

"Is that why the Cullens…?" Paul asked, glancing down at me while he dodged a tree.

"Kind of. It was a mix of Jasper hurting me so much that I changed, but he also attacked my sister when she got a paper cut. It wasn't his idea to leave, but he agreed with it. All together it's probably Edward Cullen's fault but I can fault Jasper to, because he married me, and _then _told me that he and his family were leaving. He had assumed that I was going with them." I told him, remembering the day. My entire body hurt still. What was I going to do with Charlie. "How long have I been out?" I inquired.

"About four days." Paul quietly told me. "We've told Bella and Charlie that you and Jacob have mono, and that it's best if they don't come near either of you until you're cleared of it. Charlie bought it but he's worried sick and keeps pushing to see you. Bella keeps calling the Black residence but Billy has done a good job of fighting her off."

"Great." I dead panned. "Another complication then." I looked at my hands in my lap. It was cold. I was tired. I wasn't thirsty any more, but it was starting to feel just like before, like an everlasting hunger. I looked better; I had gained all of my weight back, just from that one feeding. "Bella probably doesn't believe that I have mono. She knows I can't get sick." I told him.

"We figured, but she doesn't know that we know about your kind, and she doesn't want Charlie to know so she can't come up with an excuse to come and get you." Paul told me.

"Are we close yet?" I whispered. I couldn't tell. My senses weren't returning to me, and I was in human form, so now everything looked horribly blurred around Paul.

"Yeah. You didn't go too far, after all we are in Washington." He teased. "We should get there in five minutes." We went silent. I don't know if the added tension was from what just happened, or the conversation from before. I had told him the truth. I didn't want to be with him romantically. He was a good man, attractive in all the right ways, but he wasn't attractive to me more than Jasper. Jasper was everything that I wanted. I wanted Jasper and I to be together, eventually. I would forgive him when I thought he had suffered enough but right now, the anger was still there. And vampires, we can hold a grudge for a _long _time.

"I'm sorry." Paul finally struggled out. I'd watched his face turn red and his eyes narrow. "About before. I shouldn't have tried to force you into a relationship." I watched him quietly for a few moments.

"You think that I don't understand, but I do." My voice was barely hearable over the wind rushing by us. "I've spent a long time, over three thousand years waiting for Jasper, and I couldn't tell you when it was that I started looking for him, when I started wanting to find him. I found lots of people that were like you, that were okay with using me, and letting me use them, until I found my mate. It's not a process that I wish on anyone. Watching them find their mate, and having to let them go wasn't easy, but it was doable. I don't want that same thing again and I don't want either of us to experience it. All I can tell you, is that the wait, it's worth it."

"Make no mistake, I won't be giving up, but I might be less aggressive." Paul flashed me a grin. The wolves had been respectfully tuning out of our conversation but now they howled. "We're at the treaty line, and closing in on Emily's house. You can rest there, and clean up." Paul scrunched his noise up at me. "God, you smell like animal blood and vampire." I rolled my eyes and smacked his bare chest, or really just flopped my hand against his chest.

"Okay, but I'm bathing myself." I agreed, as he slowed down. It was a few seconds later that we broke the tree line, right outside of Emily's place. It was quiet, and calm here. It was a drastic turn. I was still in pain, but I refused to let on to it. As Paul stepped up and went inside I was bombarded with the loud voices of Emily and Kim.

"Oh my God, are you all right?" Was the general phrases that they said. I didn't know how to answer them and each question pounded into my brain. I was in so much pain.

"Emily." Sam's voice broke through their ranting on my safety. "It's not her blood, we cleaned that off. It's just animals blood. She needs a shower and sleep she says." Sam was indirectly telling them to back off, while also giving them answers.

"Paul, I think I can walk now." I said, pushing on his chest. He growled and shook for a second before slowly placing my feet on the ground. I automatically wobbled, but caught myself on his tall shoulders. He made to pick me up again. "No, no I'm okay." I told him, pushing off to wobble towards where I knew the bathroom was.

"I'll get you some of my clothes; we are about the same size. God, it's good to see weight on you." Kim fused, going into her room in Emily's house. Technically it was all of ours guest room but they all kept clothes upstairs. I hadn't, because my scent burns their noses still. I'd tried to make them as comfortable as possible.

I made my way into the bathroom, a little disgruntled at looking so weak in front of the wolves. They had treated me so nicely. They'd stayed with me, through my healing, and even cleaned my own blood off of me apparently. They'd even kept me from hurting someone, possibly someone I loved. It was…different to experience something so painful and regain thought to see someone there to help you. Jasper had been the only one before them to even come after me.

I shuttered and began to run the bath water, digging out a towel and bath cloth from in the small cupboard behind the door. I'd only used this bathroom a hundred times before. I made the bath water the hottest it would go and stepped in. Automatically I flinched from the heat on my cold skin. It was agonizing, but it felt so good. It soothed the aches and pains, not getting rid of them in the least but helping still.

It took me a long time to rid myself off all of the blood on my skin, and around my hair. Every time I thought I had it all, more would manage to run down the drain. I was so exhausted that I had to turn the shower into a bath before five minutes was up. This had been a bad idea as well, as my eyes began to drop and my breath slowing. I'd have to shake myself awake and continued my bath.

When I did finish I found outside my door a pair of pajama pants and a shirt with a pair of panties waiting. I pulled them on, uncaring that the shirt was humungous and smelt more of wolf then of Kim. The pants had smelt like Emily and I could only guess that Kim had deemed that I was not her size. That or these were her pajama clothes that she wore to sleep in.

I struggled to stay awake enough to make it across the hall and up the almost hidden stairs to the second floor, where one bedroom was set up in the attic. I fell onto the bed with a thump and didn't wake up for a long time.

When I did wake up, I was informed by a hysterical, and emotionally worried Emily and Kim that I had been out for another five days, and they'd had to tell Charlie that it had developed into a very contagious virus that I didn't know the name of. I'd stared at them and gave up, calling Charlie.

"I'm going to be fine." Had to fake sneezes. "It's probably not a good idea to come over though. I'm very contagious and I don't want to get you infected. Emily and every one are taking good care of me, and I'll come home as soon as it's safe again. Until then I'm going to stay with Emily and Sam. Is that okay, Dad?" I asked him. He'd been so relieved that I was okay that he'd been fine with it to. Bella had talked to me a little, but it sounded like she'd been crying.

I found out why when Jacob came through what had been dubbed my room's door followed by a glowering Paul and Sam. "Jacob?" I asked, sitting up. They barely let me out of bed. I guess now they think I'm just going to break with a little push. I opened my arms and Jacob hesitated. "Hug me." I growled playfully, with Paul's manly wolf growl and glower to back me up.

He practically fell into my arms, sobbing. I waved Sam and Paul away. I knew Jacob would be emotionally unstable. They'd warned me about him but I'd been adamant that Jacob and I needed to talk.

"Jake, I'm okay." I soothed him. "I know that they must have told you about me, that I was going to be okay." I rubbed his back. He was like everyone else now, short hair, and tattooed arm. But he was still Jacob, I could tell because not once did the others cry. They all had personality if anything. Jacob still had his, even if he was a little changed.

"You were so bloody, and a chunk of your _head _was missing. I was so scared, and I was this big monster-" I cut him off.

"You aren't a monster, none of you are monsters." I told him, pulling him up to the best of my ability. I was still a little weak in this form, but I've never felt better in my vampire form. "Jake, I don't blame you for that. It was completely uncontrollable. You couldn't help it, and it was my choice to be the one to drive you away from everybody else. I was responsible for getting you to the pack. Everything is okay between us." I told him, cupping his face. "You are like a little brother to me, and I would never be mad at you for something that you can't control." I didn't mean to confess that but Jacob seemed to need it.

All the tension in his shoulders left, but not in his eyes.

"Jake, what else is there?" I asked him, slowly. "You can tell me."

"You promise, that you won't get angry?" Jacob asked me. I nodded. "I had to…I couldn't tell Bella that I was a wolf. She was calling every day. And one day she came over and I had to…I had to tell her that we couldn't be friends any more. She could have gotten hurt around me, I'm a new werewolf. I could change just because someone didn't say the right thing." Jacob started shaking, but not from the need to change.

"Jake, I'm not mad at you for that." I told him, ruffling his hair. It was so fluffy. "You did the right thing, I think. For now, you can wait. And then you can go apologize to her. I probably won't approve of the way you did it, if you hurt her, so don't tell me. I just know that Bella will find a way to get you to tell her. She always was too curious." I smiled at the thought of my snooping sister. "After all, that is how she found out about us bloodsuckers." I used the term that the pack used for me.

At first it had been hatful, but now it was more a term of endearment. I know. Who wants to be called that? But I kind of liked it. Just knowing that they were comfortable enough for that was nice.

"Would you get mad if…" Jacob trailed off, scouting closer and dropping his voice so the werewolves that might be eavesdropping wouldn't hear him. "I went around Sam's orders, he was the one who ordered that I couldn't tell Bella, and told her?" He asked me. I could see the teenager that he had been behind his eyes.

"No, I rather think I would enjoy it." I nodded, patting his hand. "Now leave this old lady alone for a bit. She needs some more sleep." I grinned and winked at him. He rose from the bed and in a flash Paul was in the room. He wasn't fast like a vampire, but he'd probably been waiting to come see me.

"Are you all right?" He asked me. I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"I just need some more sleep and I think I'll be ready to be fine." I told him, scooting back down into my bed. "Jeez, Paul with all this worrying I'd have thought you'd turned into a female by now." I grinned when he scowled down at me and stomped out of the room.

The next few days I was back on my feet, helping around the house and trying to get better. The brain damage had been a huge problem it seemed. I had a little trouble remembering how to do simple things, but soon I would be able to go back to Charlie. It had been enough time to explain my weight gain, and my better visage. Charlie was calling every day, and Bella every two hours. I know she missed me.

Then my world spiraled for a moment when the boys came in. Emily and I were cooking up some food, I'd gained some experience since I'd arrived here.

"We just killed a vampire." Sam told me, and I nearly dropped my plate.

"What? Who? What did they look like?" I asked him, nearly pouncing. What if he had killed one of my friends? He wouldn't have killed the Cullen's even if they all hated them. It was still part of the treaty that they couldn't kill them as long as they stuck to the agreement.

"He was dark skinned, golden eyes but he was threatening your sister, who was wandering in the woods. He had dreadlocks." Sam described.

"Laurent." I stated. "I haven't heard much about him. After the incident where James bit Bella Laurent was supposed to be with the Denali's. I'll bet, if he was threatening Bella that he wasn't liking the vegetarian diet very well." I slowly stated, putting my head in my hands and sighing. "Great." I muttered.

"What? If you don't like him then it's no big deal, right?" Embry demanded. I rolled my eyes.

"It isn't that simple. What if he had a mate? What if the Denali come down here to see what's taking him so long and find no Cullen's, and no Laurent, but a pack of shape shifters." I exploded with questions and then did something with my hands, frowning hysterically. "I'm not strong enough yet to protect you guys and they are part of the treaty. The Denali's are an extension of the Cullen family." I told them, frowning down at the batter I'd been making.

"You are overreacting. We can take this family." Jacob contradicted me. I frowned at him and my eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know. I have no idea how old these vampires are. I've never met them. They could be really old, and if they go back far enough they can kill you. I hate to break it to you, and I didn't tell you earlier because I would in no way threaten you but I am able to kill you. I could kill an entire pack if I needed to." I told them, bouncing on my feet. "I wouldn't but if someone was old enough, and had enough battle experience they could take you on. It would be a hard fight, and even I might lose a limb or two but it's possible." I messed with my hair, running my fingers through it a bit.

"I'm probably overreacting though. I just want to know, right now anyways, why Laurent was here." I tugged on my hair.

"We don't know." Jared told me. "We only stayed put long enough to make sure he was really attacking a human. You aren't like…made at us are you?" He cautiously asked. I think I may have scared them a bit. I rolled my eyes.

"No way, Jared. I'm not mad. I like Laurent as much as Emily likes rats." I pointed my thumb over my shoulder to the slightly offended Emily. The wolves laughed a little at the comparison. "I just figure there might be outcomes that we might need to look over. If Bella saw you, she'll probably tell Charlie. There have already been rumors about large bears in the woods and three guesses to who they are really talking about." I warned them, pointing at them. "I'm just trying to look out for you guys." I said, picking up the batter and began to pour it into the muffin pan.

It was silent, as if they didn't know how to respond to that and I rolled my eyes. "Men." I grumbled to Emily and she giggled while the others frowned at me for my teasing.

"What was Bella doing out in the forest anyways?" Paul asked me, sitting at the bar.

"Oh, who knows? I can't crawl in Bella's mind but I can guess. My guessing is because she's lost her best friend, and probably what she thinks is me, she's falling back on the only thing she knows. Bella wants to remember Edward, as much as she can. He stole all of her birthday gifts, all of the pictures, and he tried to steal me. I imagine she was trying to find their 'meadow'." I scratched my cheek and fell silent. I didn't understand her. You didn't see me trying to find Jasper and I's cliff/pond. Of course I was mad at Jasper, and Bella wasn't.

"Well, we think we've got it covered." Embry said and Jacob made some kind of joke but the home phone rang. I rolled my eyes and put the muffin pan in the oven as Sam took the phone call. The muffins were going to be blueberry. The boys loved the large blueberry muffins that Emily made and she was passing on the recipe to me. Because of their sheer will power, I was eating again. It didn't matter, and I'd told them that but they wouldn't give up. So I was eating and I didn't need to feed yet, but I'm sure they'd find a way to make me when I started to lose weight again.

"That was Harry Clearwater." Sam said, breaking over the conversations. I rose from watching the muffins like a hawk to pay attention. "He says that Bella Swan told his father, and they are now hunting for us, in the woods." I grinned.

"Told you so." I chirped and Sam turned to glare at me. I innocently began to whistle and help Emily out with the food. She laughed at me and whispered instructions, so as not to break up the boy's mojo.

"For now we'll concentrate on keeping the other one out. The humans won't catch us, we can smell them to far away. Don't be careless. Cover up your prints with your tail, and try not to break any trees or scrape them. Harry has our back for now and all of the other reservationists who know." Sam informed the others. I turned to them curiously.

"Other one?" I asked.

"Yeah, we've been tracking a red head, with tight clothing away from Forks." Jared said, like it was an everyday topic as he bit into and apple. I stared at him as it dawned on me. Victoria. Victoria was back and trying to get to Forks. There was no way. She had to be coming for me or Bella, because it would have been obvious by now, if she had tried already, that the Cullen's weren't here.

"Her name is Victoria." I told them, squinting. "She's probably after Bella, and or, me." I ran my fingers through my hair, stirring the soup before turning to the wolves. I had grasped their attention. I don't think they had even made a connection between me and Victoria. They'd probably only made the connection between me and Laurent because Bella had been on the scene.

"Well, what for?" Jacob asked.

"Uh," I grimaced. "When James, I've told you this part before, went after Bella at the ballet studio, I might have gone a little evil sister on him. I pulled his head off of his shoulders, while standing on his shoulders. It's a long story but in short version she could be after me for actually killing her mate, or for Bella because she is the reason James' dead." I grumbled at the overload of information. First Bella being attacked by Laurent, and I wasn't there to protect her, and now Victoria. Bella was just a magnet for trouble.

"Dammit woman, why can't you and Bella stay away from danger?" Embry asked. I laughed and grinned at him.

"Sweetheart, I'm a vampire in the midst of wolves. I'm tempted to get danger tattooed on my body for the sheer audacity of me." I pulled the soup off the stove. "Who's hungry?" I asked them, getting out the bowls and plates for the rest of the food. There were fast replies and I began pouring soup into bowls for them.

When Jacob's turn came he looked me straight in the eye and nodded. I had a feeling for what that meant, but I remained silent, nodding back. I believe he was telling me that he was going to speak with Bella, tonight. It had to be night time, because there was no other time it could be. I sighed deeply and placed my bowl of soup on the counter. The Quileute boys were now watching the game, and Emily was eating her own bowl of soup, and a roll, but I had only poured a little of the soup into my bowl. I wasn't hungry, and I still wasn't thirsty. It had been bad luck that I'd gotten swiped but that was it.

"Hey, Belle," Jacob talked to me. I realized he was back for his seconds already. I turned to the pot and took his bowl from him. He moved closer to me while the others cheered for their favorite teams. It was going to be a long night.

"Try not to scare her okay. She's good with weird, but she also worries a lot. And don't just outright change in front of her, you'll only make her run." I warned him and then smiled softly at his anxious expression. I pulled him in for a hug. "Don't worry little brother, you'll be just fine." I told him, before pushing him away a little. "Now go eat before your brother's end up eating all of it." I pushed him back to the living room as Paul gravitated back to the kitchen with Jared, pumped about the game.

He would make some girl happy someday, he was attractive, and sweet when he wanted to be. I'm a little sad that it wouldn't be me that he would make happy but I loved blonde hair, golden eyes, and a Texan smile. Paul could never be Jasper, no matter how much he wanted to be.

**How about it? Was it good enough for you? Anyways I have news. I'm forgetful so I forgot the other news but anyways. I've decided not to do Breaking Dawn. I didn't like any of the story line and so I've decided to end it after Eclipse is over, and I'm almost finished with that. I think I've made a good decision. I'm sorry if you don't think so but well sorry. I like the idea.**

**I'll be uploading sooner I think. Because I've written a lot and posted very little. So there is always that to look forward to. I hope you at least enjoyed this chapter!**


	10. A Bella

The next day I had no idea how far Jacob's telling Bella would blow things out of proportions again. Honestly, it's like a day can never be quiet. I was completely better now, physically, I can walk, talk, and everything. Paul was still a little protective but I'd shut him down when he suggested I rest another day. I was restless, and ready to get up and do something. The pack and I were on our way to pick up Jacob, we were going to Sue's diner to celebrate me getting better. Emily was staying at home to prepare for the bonfire tonight, and Kim was at school for a little while, working on some other project she had to do. You know she wouldn't have to stay after so much if she would just finish all of her stuff before Jared came over.

It was when we were walking into the back of Jacob's massive yard that everything exploded. Here comes Bella, out of the back of the house and heading straight for temper explosive werewolves.

"What did you do?" She shouted at Sam, and pushed him back. Jared, the second in command and the first to change after Sam moved forward, ready to get her off of Sam. I held him back with a hand.

"Easy!" Sam said, pointing at Jared. I hadn't exactly warned them that Bella knew, but I'd warned them that Bella was smart enough that she would probably find out eventually. And I might have warned that she wasn't exactly happy with any of them. Of course I had no idea what she was talking about. I just thought she didn't like them because they were manipulating me or something. Nobody tells me anything around here.

"He didn't want this!" Bella announced, and I could see the betrayal in her eyes when she turned to me. I winced but Paul, the ever protective idiot stepped in front of me to keep Bella's rage off of me. Paul…that lovable idiot knew just what I needed.

"What did we do? What did he do? What'd he tell you?" Paul asked her, getting angrier. I put my hand on his back to keep him as calm as I could.

"Both of you calm down." Sam tried to take control of the situation. I moved from behind Paul.

"Bella-" I tried to calm her down but she went right back at Paul without even stopping.

"He tells me nothing because he's scared of you." Bella told us and I admit I let out a snicker at that. To think that the Jacob that had been laughing and cutting up with the rest of us last night would be scared of us was incredulous. Bella didn't take too kindly to our laughing at what she thought was something serious and she slapped Paul.

"Ah, Shit." I said. Paul started shaking. I didn't want brain damage again so I grabbed Bella's arm forcefully. "Time to go." I announced, pulling her along forcefully as Paul began to growl behind us. Bella stopped and I groaned as Paul tore from his skin, becoming the gorgeous wolf that I knew he was. Bella's breathing stopped. I tugged her along. "Come on!" I shouted. Paul was pissed off, and the changing hadn't helped as much as it should have. Finally Bella followed my orders and started running, just to be there I ran as well.

Jacob came out of his house, seeing the giant wolf behind us and started running. "Bella!" He yelled and started running over us. I took Bella to the ground as he leapt over us, changing on the fly. I hadn't seen Jacob's wolf, though I'd been curious. He was russet colored, and so Jacob that it was hard to believe it wasn't him. He growled at Paul's form and they had a small stand off before something in their minds made Jacob launch himself at Paul.

I watched as the fought each other, ripping skin and all kinds of stuff, fur, grass and everything from each other. I wasn't worried. These fights broke out all of the time. I instead looked at Bella.

"Don't be mad?" I asked her quietly. "It wasn't my secret to tell." I whispered to her. She seemed to be in shock as she looked to me.

"Paul!" Sam called, trying to get them off of each other without phasing. I snorted. He had a better chance of getting a vampire to drink a human's juice right now then getting those two off of each other. The two wolves tumbled into the woods out of sight.

"Hey!" Sam got my attention. "Take Bella back to Emily's place." I nodded.

"Of course." I said, picking her up by her upper arm. "Come on, Bella. It wasn't that big of a shock." I told her. She looked to me like I was stupid. I grinned at her. "Did you think I was just hanging out with humans?" I teased.

"Guess the wolf's out of the bag." Embry joked. I laughed with him as Embry and Jared followed me to Bella's truck.

"I don't have my car here, it's getting repaired from another one of Paul's episodes, so we'll use your truck." I told Bella. She looked so worried. "Paul does this kind of thing all the time, so we all put up with it. Try not to worry so much. You'll get grey hairs." I put Bella into the passenger seat.

"I'll drive!" Embry pronounced and I pushed him away.

"Over my dead body." I told him, showing my teeth in a joking manner. He pouted.

"That can be arranged." He mumbled, slinking to the back of the truck with Jared. I laughed.

"You wish it could!" I climbed into the car as Jared laughed at Embry. When everyone was in the truck I started the old thing and began driving the short distance to Emily's place. Nothing was really a long drive here on the reservation; it was all just kind of close together, everybody knew everybody to.

Bella must have been stunned into silence, because she didn't talk the entire ride, though she did reach out and connect our hands, in a sisterly manner of course, and I squeezed it. It would be nice to have Bella in the loop. I should still probably come home soon though, because Charlie was still worried. It had been so long since he'd seen me last.

I stopped the truck in Emily's drive and all three of us got out. I almost forgot Bella was there until she rolled down the window. "I think we should go back to check on Jacob."

"I hope Paul sinks some teeth in him. Serves him right." Embry said. I rolled my eyes.

"Be nice." I commented from behind them. They were headed inside.

"No way. Jacob's a natural. You see him phase on the fly? I got five says Paul doesn't even touch him." Jared said. I laughed and helped Bella out of the truck. She looked so worried and on her already pale and malnourished features it didn't make her look any better. No matter how much Charlie and I tried she always seemed to be lost, and beaten down.

"Don't worry about Jacob, it's a wolf thing." I tried to at least cheer her up that much.

"Bring her on in, Belle. We won't bite." Embry said. Jared snorted.

"Speak for yourself." Jared walked in, and Embry followed him. I walked with Bella.

"So, sick with mono, and then a virus?" Bella asked me, staring me down. I cringed.

"Uh, well. There was an accident." I told her, "I got hurt-" She cut me off.

"Like at our…party?" She whispered, her eyes widened.

"Yeah, I got hurt while I was human and well it took longer than a few seconds to heal." I patted her on the back. She had stopped us at the base of the stairs. I hesitated then turned back to her. "Don't stare at Emily, okay? It bothers Sam." I went inside. Emily was pulling out another batch of blueberry muffins. I went to help put them on the large plate.

"What's going on?" Emily asked me, perplexed.

"We ran into Bella when we went to pick up Jacob." I said, nodding to Bella who was at the door. "She knows. She slapped Paul, and well…the rest should be inferred by she slapped Paul." I laughed and took the plate of muffins.

"Here." I put the plate down on the table where the two wolves were sitting. They each grabbed a muffin and as usual began to practically inhale them.

"Hmmm. So, you're the vampire girl." Emily said, looking Bella up and down. I found this very humorous considering I _am _a vampire.

"So, you're the wolf girl." Bella fired back, coming in from where she was standing in the door way. I moved over to the oven, reaching in to pull out the other muffins. I knew Emily had to make more. The wolves would have all of those muffins eaten when they walked through the door. I figure it's because of all the running they do that they eat so much. They have to gain carbs to burn or else they'd be really skinny I suppose.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Emily said. I could tell that Emily liked her, like that was some kind of test that Bella had passed. "Well, I'm engaged to one." She was so happy. I hadn't been here for it, apparently they had been engaged for three months, and were trying to plan the wedding. I'd donated a good deal of money, through Sam. I'd used the excuse that I wanted to give Emily her dream wedding, because Sam would have to cave if it was to give Emily something she wanted. Emily didn't know, all she knew was Sam told her to pick out anything she wanted because he could afford it. I think he used some bogus construction story.

Jared went for another muffin and I slapped his hand away. "Save some for your brothers." I scowled. He pouted and put the muffin back.

"Ladies first." Emily said, motioning for Bella to get a muffin if she wanted one.

"Leave it to Jacob to find a way around Sam's gag order." Emily sighed. I laughed and grabbed my own muffin off of the new trey and bit into it. I may not be hungry but Emily had turned to me, and I could see the comment already in her eyes. Bella probably thought I was looking better, that I was doing better. She had no idea.

"Um, He didn't say anything to me." Bella said. I could bet he didn't.

"That's a wolf thing." Embry informed her, with a holy-ier then thou look on his face. "Alpha's orders get obeyed whether we want them to or not. And check it out. We can hear each other's thoughts." Embry bit into his muffin while Jared's arms rose.

"Would you shut up?" Jared announced. "These are trade secrets. Damn it!" He gestured wildly and biting into his muffin. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows. "This chick runs with vampires."

"You…can't really run with vampires." Bella said kind of quiet. I rolled my eyes and smacked Jared's head.

"Watch your language, and how you talk about me." I told him, as Emily giggled and high fived me. I sat behind the counter, and put my head in my hands. I was tired. I was always tired now.

Jared grumbled good-naturedly. "I'm just saying." He bit into another muffin. "We can run with them. Freaked out yet?" He leant back, expecting her answer.

"You aren't the first monsters that I've run into." Bella met my eyes, grinning at me. I wiggled my eyebrows at her and smiled back. It was nice already to have Bella in the group. I felt almost at home here. It would be even better if Jasper was here. Of course if he was here then I wouldn't be here, because they probably wouldn't like the idea of him being on their lands. Jasper probably wouldn't want to be on their lands anyways.

"Jake's right, you're good with weird." Sam said, coming through the door. Jacob and Paul were behind him, joking around and laughing with each other. Sam automatically went to Emily, smiling and they made a cute little bubble of love. I cringed and frowned. They were right next to me and I gagged.

Instead of commenting I moved to the table, sitting down beside Paul. He was fine. They were always fine when they came back from fighting each other. I was more exasperated then I was worried over them. If Paul wasn't fighting someone then there was something wrong with him.

"Sorry." Paul said to Bella and grinned before grabbing a muffin and biting into it. I noticed Bella and Jacob staring at each other and smiled.

"Why don't you take Bella out and explain it to her?" I asked Jacob. He nodded, and let Bella go out first. She looked at me as she went out the door and smiled at me. I winked back. When she was out of sight I slapped Paul upside the head.

"Ow, What?" Paul asked me spreading his hands in question.

"Jeez, can't you keep it together? She's a human and she slapped you." I told him, getting up and yawning. I wanted to go back up stairs and sleep but that was just because I had been sleeping too much for too long.

"Are you tired?" Paul asked, eyeing me. In turned Emily began eyeing me as well. I groaned. How these people always seemed to read me I'll never know. I mean, was my ability to control my facial expression, that bad?

"Please, I've been sleeping for so long I can't bear to lie back in a bed." I stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go for a run, and then I'll be back." It hit me that I didn't really need an escort; they trusted me now not to hurt anyone. I guess helping Jake was something they saw as proof that I would never hurt them or humans. And they were right.

While I ran I followed the line the wolves had made. I wouldn't turn though, because that was still against the agreement. So I walked it, and ran it, along the path. There were hunters out here somewhere, but I'd hear them before I saw them. I'd be able to hide that way, or run, depending on them.

I looked around for Victoria as well. The other night she had come close, or so Emily and I had found out when they came in late. They'd run her into Canada and away from us. Bella probably had been left unaware to, I have no idea. I knew that she knew she was coming for her. Bella had called me last night and fessed up to having been attacked by Laurent. She told me everything he said and that Victoria was coming after her.

Tonight, once Bella came back with Jacob, I went home. I didn't take them home but Charlie and I caught up and Charlie fussed over me, not trying to cook but buying my favorite pizza. Once I was back at my house my routine turned again. I didn't spend a lot of time over at the Reservation, not as much as before. Charlie was determined to be with me for a lot of time during the day and when he wasn't here I spent time with Bella, and sometimes Paul would come over, or Sam, or even Emily. I didn't lose them, but they weren't my life. Either way it was bad. Whenever I was alone I had nightmares.

I had all kinds of pains. I could remember the feeling of Jacob's claws hitting my head and tearing it to pieces, which I find ironic because for a long time I couldn't really remember the situation at all. I could remember Jasper's argument to. And in this house I could see him everywhere. I could remember Jasper in my bed, when he held me when I cried, I could remember him downstairs in the living room when he'd watched T.V. to bond with my Dad.

It was worse now from when I'd first been split from him. I was still angry at him, but I missed him to. I wanted to love him again, but I didn't want to forgive him for what he did. It was something that no one had asked me to do before, and it was blasphemy. He shouldn't have asked me to do that, especially when we had just been married. He shouldn't have married me and then asked me to do that either. It was just all wrong.

Harry Clearwater was in the hospital.

"Belle, I'm going out." Bella shouted up to me faintly. I sighed and yelled back to her.

"I'm going to the hospital." I told her, grabbing my jacket. Paul had just told me about it. Harry and my Dad had been really close and I wanted to go be there for him, since I hadn't been there for him for a long time. I was still out of it a little bit. Harry was in the Reservation's small hospital. It matched the rest of the buildings on the reservations, except it had a sign that plainly stated that it was the hospital.

I rushed in the doors, and found my way to Dad who was in the waiting room. He was comforting Sue Clearwater and I realized she was the owner of Paul and I's diner. I hurried over. "Sue, are you okay?" I asked her, kneeling on the floor to touch her knee in comfort. She sobbed and reached a hand out.

"Hey, Belle. Oh, I'm going to be okay." Sue said, trying to look okay, but it was clear that she wasn't. She would make it through because Sue was a good woman and she was always pushing ahead even though Harry's health had already been in question. Sue and I talked a lot when I was on the reservation.

"Has there been any news?" I asked. She shook her head, blowing her nose into a handkerchief in a very movie like manner. It seemed so unreal that there was a death on a hunt for wolves that Harry Clearwater already knew about. After all, he was the one that informed the pack they were being hunted. That could only mean that the one thing that the wolves were hunting, must have found the humans.

"He just….I looked back and he was on the ground." Charlie shuttered. I got up and hugged him to me. "They said he was having a heart attack. I rode in the ambulance." He was staring off and I knew he was seeing Harry Clearwater's prone body. It wasn't easy to see your first dead body in the modern world. In my world people could drop dead like flies, because we didn't live as long as they do today. We were used to seeing people die. Not so much if you were royal, because you were so well taken care of then that no one believed you would die unless it was at the hand of other royalty.

"It's going to be all right." I muttered. I kissed the top of his head, seeing a doctor head our way, with brown balding hair and a bulging stomach, with blood on his scrubs. Oh, no. "The doctor is here." I said, and just then two people, Leah Clearwater and Seth came through the door. I straightened just enough to catch Leah. I stumbled a little because she'd grown since I'd last seen her but she sobbed. Her Mom rose and hugged both me and Leah, and Seth joined. Somehow I'd become the meat in a comforting sandwich. I was not that comfortable. I didn't know Leah or Seth that well, past greetings and how are you doings.

"I'm sorry; Harry didn't make it." The Doctor told Charlie, the only one not in the hug. I groaned as the others broke into more sobs. Luckily Sue grabbed Seth in a hug and I was left with only Leah to comfort, that was all right I could do that.

"Shhh, Leah." I hugged her, even though she was taller than me. "Your dad wouldn't have wanted you to cry for him." I comforted her, pulling her over to a chair as I held her close.

"How am I supposed to live? Dad was always there." She sobbed and I combed her hair back. I felt a little broken hearted, seeing such a strong hearted girl fall to pieces. On top of what happened with Sam, I couldn't imagine how horrible her life was right now.

"It's going to be hard, and it'll hurt but you'll make it. Maybe it won't be for yourself, but your mother needs you, and Seth needs you." I grabbed a handkerchief and mopped up her tears as the usually gruff and hating woman broke down. "I held on to that, when my crisis came. If you find something to hold on to, you won't sink." I told her softly.

She was silent, and Charlie moved over to me and I gathered him up in my arms to, even though he hadn't said anything, I knew he needed comfort just as much as the Clearwater family. Eventually even Sue and Seth came over. I had come here to comfort Charlie but apparently I was going to be comforting the entire waiting room. And we were the only ones in the waiting room to.

"W-We should go over to the house and um prepare everything." Sue sniffled, breaking up the hug. It was probably for the best, because I was going to start sleeping. I don't mean to be crude, but I didn't know the man, and for so long I've looked on death with cold eyes. Now it was marching up to my gate and I didn't want to be the one who fell for the wooden horse.

"I'll go with you," Charlie said, standing up and pulling out his cellphone. "I'll call Billy and we can go." I stood up as well.

"I'll go with you two, if you'll lead the way. I'll help as much as I can." I told them, following them. Leah and Seth went with Sue and I followed behind Charlie in my vehicle.

I was at Sue's house, talking her through the funeral process, I'd looked it up on Google as none of us had actually dealt with a funeral process. Then Sam, with Paul and Jared came through the door. I rose and Paul grabbed my hand, taking me outside.

"Bella went cliff diving, alone." Paul bluntly told me. My eyes flew to the sky.

"Is she stupid?" I yelled. "These clouds are monstrous. Is she okay? Who's with her?" I asked repetitively.

"She's with Jacob at her house. She says she's fine but they are waiting on you to get to the house before they go back to your house." Paul told me as I got into my car, and Paul looked in through the window. "Behave. She's disoriented and Jacob's worried about Harry."

"Has anyone told him?" I asked Paul. He nodded and I started the car, peeling out. It took me a record three minutes to get from the hospital to the Black residence. I slammed on the brakes and almost jumped out of the car with it still going. I ran into the house, not caring for anything until I saw Bella and Jacob both sitting on the couch, my car to quiet for them to hear, and I nearly collapsed.

"Don't. Ever. Scare. Me. Again." I sternly told Bella, and I met her across the living room in a hug. I kept her close, sighing. "I didn't know if I could stand that again. Do you know how painful it was for me to hear that my sister jumped off a cliff?" I demanded of Bella. She looked taken a back but then got angry.

"You jumped off a cliff, I saw you!" Bella said, pointing at my face. It was my turn to be taken back. Then I remembered when I jumped with Paul.

"That is different, Bella." I told her. "First of all I am a vampire, not a very vulnerable human, and I was also surrounded by werewolves. Not only that but I jumped _with _a shape shifter. If I got hurt, I would only turn into a raging monster, which had werewolves to cover her. You would have been _dead_." I put her in her place, puffing in anger. Bella deflated and I sighed, clutching my head for a second. "I think sometimes that you forget what I am Bella, you all do. I am a vampire, and I am not human." I softly said.

"**It's an illusion, Belle!"**

At least Jasper never forgot that I was a vampire. It may have been hurtful, and something he shouldn't have said but the Cullen family never thought of me as just human. They all knew I was a vampire in the end. Jasper knew, but he loved me when I was human just like he would have when I was a vampire.

For me, it was always a question. I was an anomaly among vampires, and a freak among humans. To Shape shifters I was a vampire, and a human. I think they only realized that I really was a vampire when I was forcefully changed. That must have been when Bella was reminded of it. We never got to speak about it, not really.

"Let's just go home, Jake will you drive?" I asked him. He nodded, looking between me and Bella. I don't know what he was thinking but I bet he was trying to think what side he was going to take. I didn't care. I was so worn out. Being surrounded by people, an overload of senses and smells, not to mention the heart attack that _I _almost had from Bella; add it all up and I would probably be allowed a little bit of pain.

"Come on." I said to Bella, lightly grasping her hand. "Let's try and not fight, okay?" I asked her softly. She huffed air and put her forehead with mine.

"I love you, Belle. I know I haven't told you since we were little, but I do." Bella told me. I smiled at her, and then grinned.

"I love you to Bella. You're like the sister I always wanted." I pulled her behind me and released her so we could get into the car. There wasn't a backseat, in a Lamborghini, so I decided instead of driving with them I'd let them take my car, and I'd drive Bella's truck over.

"Oh, but you love this car." Bella argued. I rolled my eyes.

"Please, Paul's broken this car enough that'd I've spent the same amount on the car to fix then when I bought it." I told her. I looked to Jake. "Try and get her home without her getting killed?" I pleaded. Jacob nodded and I let them go, watching them peel out of the drive, Jake excited to drive my car. I hoped into Bella's old car, already irritated by the loud noise it made to turn it on. I wouldn't have wanted to be in the car with them anyways. I could practically feel the tension between the two of them.

**I hope you enjoyed it!**


	11. A Hurried Vampire

When I drove to the house, I didn't think about much of anything more than what was happening right now. I thought about how I could have been there for Bella, or how I was losing myself, and all because my mate wasn't here. I missed him. I missed everything about him, his hair, his smile, his jokes, I even missed that little scar that tilts his smile down and makes it perfect. I missed his touch to. I'd only experienced his passion for a night but I missed it. Jasper and I…we just fit. We were perfect together.

When I did arrive back at the house, I was thrown into chaos as I saw Jacob slam the door on Bella. I furrowed my eyebrow and opened my door. The breeze blew in and a familiar scent reached my nostrils. It was sweet candy, and the smell of the latest perfume. Alice Cullen. I practically crushed Bella's door as I jumped from her truck.

I almost turned, the pressure was there, and Bella was right behind me. Unfortunately for her, she had Jacob holding her back. I opened the door and it was dark inside, and I couldn't see as I was. I turned the light on, and looked around. As soon as I turned to my left there she was. She was wearing white, all white and I thought it was rather fitting.

"Alice?" I asked, my eyes widening. Before I could think I was turned, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Belle?" Alice squeezed me. "I'm so sorry for your lose. I tried to get here-" I opened my mouth to ask her what the hell this little magical pixie was talking about but Bella burst into the door. She stared at Alice, open mouthed for a second before tackling her.

"Alice? What are you? Why?" Bella could hardly get her words out of her mouth. Bella moved back. "I'm sorry, I just, I can't believe you're here." She said, laughing.

"Me neither." I slowly drawled. My elation was only stopped by curiosity, and suspicion. They had left, all of them had, so why would they be back? Or Alice, why would Alice come back? There was no guarantee that any of the others would be back.

"Would you like to explain to me how you're alive?" Alice cut in in her own question. It startled me and Bella. Bella was so stunned by the question that I answered for her.

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked her, moving a little in front of Alice. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was going on, and that Alice was back.

"I saw a vision of Bella, she was jumping off a cliff. I just...I couldn't even _see _you." Alice said, and I blinked in confusion.

"Alice-" I slowly said. "Calm down. We're both alive." I told her.

"Why in the world would you jump off a cliff?" Alice demanded of Bella. "What about Charlie? And Belle, since she's alive?" She tacked on the last one a little last minute looking down and then back at Bella with the same intensity.

"I didn't try to kill myself!" Bella interjected before Alice could name any more people that could have been hurt by Bella's death. "I was cliff jumping, it's recreational." Bella tried to explain, calming down, moving her hair out of her face. She still looked bad. Her eyes were red, and her skin pale. "It was fun." Alice stared at her, exhaling loudly in disbelief.

"Look, Bella has had a trying day, and I for one am exhausted. Let's move this into the living room." I said, going to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot, barely letting Alice out of my sight. I waited patiently for the coffee, and poured one for Bella, hurrying to bring it to her.

They were facing each other on the couch and I sat on the table, handing Bella a drink, watching her blow on it, and then drink it. She was fine; she didn't even seem to notice. She was already getting better with Alice here.

"-life prone idiocy." Alice finished. I snorted and opened my mouth but Bella glared at me. I closed my mouth and half smiled at Alice.

"It's good to have you back, Alice." I softly told her. She grinned at me, and then scowled.

"You eloped! I'm still mad at you." She huffed and turned to Bella, completely missing my flinch at the mention of it.

"Did…" Bella said after a pause. "Did you tell…him?" Bella practically whispered it. She couldn't even say his name any more. She couldn't say any of their names. I could. I didn't have a problem with it, but like I had said before, Bella had it harder than I did.

"No." Alice said, just as quiet as Bella had. "He only calls in once…every few months."

"He isn't living with you?" I asked curiously. Don't get me wrong, I was livid at just the thought of Edward Cullen, but it was still kind of weird that he didn't live with them anymore. Was it because he felt just as bad as Bella had?

"He said he wants to be alone but…I think it was more so Jasper doesn't have to deal with his pain, on top of his own." Alice watched me closely but I wasn't like Bella, I didn't show Alice how much it hurt to hear about Jasper. He couldn't be in pain; he brought this on himself, now he should deal with the consequences.

"How is Jasper?" Bella asked, also watching me. I figured that she thought I would want to know. I did want to know, but on the other hand, I didn't know if I could stand finding out that he was fine without me.

"He's…not Jasper. He mopes around a lot, when he does come out of his room. Mostly he stays inside, and doesn't come out. He won't mainstream, where we are. He just sits in his room. You can't even go into the room he was in because of how extreme emotional distress." Alice described. I met her eyes and nodded. I knew he felt bad for what he'd done, but still. I wouldn't forgive him for this for a long time. I was a vampire, and I was going to keep a grudge like one. Plus, weren't wives supposed to treat their husbands like this when they acted badly?

"Belle, what is that God-awful wet dog smell?" Alice asked, wrinkling her nose and scowling.

"Oh, I don't even notice it anymore. Sorry." I said moving back. "It's probably Bella and I." There was nothing I could do right now for it, unless Bella and I took a bath but I didn't want to let Bella or Alice out of my sight.

"It's Jacob, and the gang." Bella explained. She took off her jacket, trying to make it better for Alice. I didn't even try; I was probably covered in it from living with the shape shifters for so long.

"Jacob who?" Alice pressed, her eyes narrowing.

"Um…Jacob's kind of a werewolf." Bella slowly told Alice who looked shocked, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping. I laughed at her expression.

"Technically they are just shape shifters, but it's bad enough." I noted.

"Ugh, Bella, werewolves, shape shifters or not, are not good company to keep." Alice turned to me then. "You'd think you'd have known this." I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"I can handle some shape shifters." I told her, pulling my hair away from my face and rubbing my hands on my jeans. "Plus they're nice, friendly, if you manage to get to know them." I laughed and Bella grinned.

"Funny." Jacob said. I rose to my feet, cautiously and Alice jumped up, backing away a bit. I was shocked to see him there. I was so wrapped up in Alice that I hadn't noticed Jacob's return. "It took them long enough to get used to you." Jacob looked me up and down. I embarrassedly changed back to a human, grinning sheepishly.

"Yeah, well I helped one of them out." I shrugged, digging my hands in my pockets.

"I had to see you two were safe." Jacob struggled to tell Bella and I. I hadn't noticed that he'd even left; I was so intent on Alice. I felt bad for forgetting about him, but in all fairness I wasn't a newborn, and I wasn't human so I could handle myself, should Alice had been wishing me harm, or if it had been Victoria instead of Alice. In all fairness, Bella was probably his main concern right now.

"I thought you couldn't protect me here." Bella mentioned. Alice looked at me and I shrugged.

"Don't look at me." I muttered to her. I was so happy to have Alice back. She was so cheerful and caring. Alice, there was no way to explain Alice; she just is who she is.

"Guess I don't care." Jacob replied to Bella.

"Well, _I'm _not gonna hurt her." Alice told him, kind of incredulous that a wolf would walk into what Alice probably considered her best friend's house and assume that she would hurt Bella. I felt kind of sad for Alice, but she did leave me, even if it might not have been her decision.

"No, you're just a harmless Cullen." Jacob sarcastically said. "One of the vampires that brought a grown three thousand year old vampire to her knees from emotion." I jumped in.

"Jake, stop. She didn't want to leave." I told him, stepping forward. "He's talking about Victoria. She's been after Bella, and or, I for a long time. I found out recently that the wolves have been keeping her away from us." I explained to Alice, not taking my eyes off of Jacob, waiting for him to bust out in his furry outfit.

"I…didn't see her." Alice talked to herself mostly. "I didn't see Bella get pulled out of the water, either." She frowned and then her eyes widened and she turned to glare at Jacob. "I can't see past you and your pack of _mutts._"

"Don't get me upset…" Jacob muttered, tilting his head and cracking his neck. I intervened, getting between them.

"Hey, let's not. Let's just stop. And back it up." I said, pushing both of them apart. "Alice, why don't we…give Jacob and Bella a moment?" I asked her quietly. Alice grimaced and then sighed, linking my arm with hers. I stepped with her, to the door.

"Hey," Alice and I turned around together to look back at Bella. "You two aren't…you aren't going anywhere, right?" Bella looked between us.

"Never." I told Bella.

"We'll come back, just as soon as you let the dog out." Alice maliciously poked at Jacob. I shook my head and helped Alice outside, closing the door softly behind me, phasing as soon as I was out of the room. Together Alice and I ran to the back of the yard, without thinking too much about it. It was nice, to have someone that I could act vampire around without worrying about them getting scared, or closing up on me.

"What's happened that makes hanging out with werewolves seem like a good idea to you two?" Alice asked, fuming in her little pixie place. I grinned at her, stuffing my pockets into my jeans.

"Well, Alice, we had to make friends." I quietly said, sarcastic. "You didn't think that either of us would be _happy_ that you left did you?" I questioned her. "We both kind of shut off. Bella was pretty bad. She didn't eat, she had nightmares about I don't even know what. She was horrible, and it wasn't getting better. Charlie and I did the best we could to keep her physically alive, but mentally it was like a void was there….all she could think about was Edward." I whispered the name, as if Bella was standing next to me in all of her glory.

"What about you?" Alice pressed. "It couldn't have been good for you. To be split from ones mate out of choice…" I looked at her, meeting the first set of golden eyes that I'd seen in what feels like forever.

"No, it wasn't." Was all I said, looking at her meaningfully. "But it was more than that, for both of us. Alice, your whole family left us. Bella and I were both prepared to become a full-fledged part of the family. It tore Bella up inside that you weren't there anymore. She sent you e-mails every day, even though it was never sent to you." My eyes wondered back to the house. Where ever they were, their shadows didn't linger in the living room any more.

Alice sighed, frustrated. I knew she'd asked about me. I didn't want to tell her. It wasn't her fault that Edward made a decision for all of the family, and made everyone go. I don't know who all it was that agreed with him, all I knew was Jasper was one of them. My own mate had wanted me to leave my _sister._

"Jasper misses you." Alice told me, softly. "He doesn't know I'm here. He won't talk long enough, or listen long enough. I tried to tell him but he shut down the moment I mentioned-" I stopped her.

"I don't want to see him hurt. I love Jasper, every waking moment away from him hurts me, but it was of his own doing. He eloped with me, married me, knowing he was going to ask me to leave my sister. Had he not, I might forgive him more easily but as of right now Jasper and I are on hiatus that is so extreme they may make it into a movie. I don't know how long it could take me to forgive him for this betrayal. So please, stop trying to plead his case." I strongly, sternly told her. It was all in a rushed, almost rant. I just wanted her to stop.

It hurt me to know Jasper was hurting himself this way, but that was Jasper's way of dealing with the separation. If this is what it takes for him to realize his mistake, and for me to find a way to forgive him then that's how it's going to be done. I couldn't forgive him right away, the wound was too deep, and it had only festered over time.

Then Alice went into a vision. I was starting to get the feeling that I wasn't going to be getting any rest for the foreseeable future. Her expression and small gasps for air weren't good signs either.

"Bella!" Alice went zooming to the house, and I followed, scrambling in confusion. "Bella!" She was in the kitchen and I changed, going straight to Jacob. Whatever had just happened had him shaking and angry.

"Jacob, calm down okay. Whatever it is, it's okay." I told him, splaying my hands on his chest to create a barrier between Alice and Bella, and Jacob and I. "I need you to calm down little brother before you hurt someone." I soothed. He looked between me and Bella but he did begin to calm down. I knew what he thought I was putting on to that sentence, 'again'. He would be wrong.

"Bella, its Edward. He thinks you're dead. Rosalie told him why I came here." Alice said. I sneered. Good ridden if that bastard was gone.

"Why would you…Why didn't you let me speak to him?" Bella demanded. I pushed Jacob back, kept him calmed down.

"He didn't ask for you." Jacob said, pushing against me. I would have turned back vampire but I feared that it would only make the situation worse.

"I don't care!" Bella screamed and I turned to her but Alice had Bella covered.

"Bella! He's going to the Volturi." My breath left my lungs and I swiveled so fast that I might have been a vampire. It was Jacob's turn to see what was wrong with me. "He wants to die, too." I watched Bella's expression as it turned from stunned, to even more panic then she was before. It was horrible. Edward had hurt her so much, and she would forgive him so easily, without even thinking about it. She would forgive him; I knew that much about her at least. Bella would forgive Edward, but that was their relationship, not mine. I however, was not going to be forgiving that bastard any time soon.

Alice and Bella didn't even speak to each other they just started rushing to Alice's car. I followed them with Jacob. "Bella!" I called but Jacob caught up to her first. I stayed a little behind. I was torn. While Edward could burn in the fire of the Volturi, leaving my sister to their wrath was a hard decision. The Volturi seeing me was not a good idea. I haven't spoken to them in many years, and I don't think I want to say that seeing them now is a good thing. They were part of a past that I didn't want to remember anymore.

"He left you, Bella. He didn't want you anymore. Remember?" Jacob pleaded with Bella.

"No, I'm not gonna let him kill himself." Bella told Jacob, not even looking behind her. I wavered back and forth. I didn't want her to go, but I didn't want to tell her so. She was happy when she was with Edward, even if she was making the wrong decision. It was still her decision, and I couldn't tell her not to go.

"What about your dad? And your sister?" Jacob demanded, motioning back to me as Bella got in the car where Alice was impatiently waiting.

"I'm 18. I'm legally free to go, and I left a note for Belle and I." Bella excused. She looked at me and I didn't say anything as she got into the car.

"Please, Bella." Jacob reached into the car and I fluttered in a panic as Alice reared back, holding her breath and looking at Jacob. She wasn't happy with his delay. "Just, stay here. For Charlie…or for me." Jacob breathed. I felt bad for Alice, sitting there uncomfortably in between them but I didn't envy her.

"I have to go." Bella told Jacob, looking him straight into the eyes. I could see Jacob's heart breaking even though I couldn't see his face.

"I'm begging you." Jacob said, pausing at each word to tell her, as he removed his hand from where he had it outstretched in the car. I watched, unable to do anything that could help. Any assistance from me and it would only become worse. "Please."

"Good-bye, Jacob." Bella whispered to him, unable to look him in the eyes. Jacob slowly stumbled away from the car and towards me. "Belle, come on." So it was my turn. I slowly walked to Alice's side of the car, and glanced back at where Jacob was standing, at the edge of the house. I knew what he expected of me. He knew that I had a tight bond with Bella, and that I would protect her.

"Bella." I met her dark brown eyes and I sighed deeply. "The Volturi and I….we have a past." I whispered, looking at Alice as well who was paying attention. "You are going somewhere that I cannot, and will not go. If you go to save the man who broke your heart, then I cannot follow you." I stepped away from the car. "I am on Jacob's side in this. I would rather see Edward dead then risk lives to help him. He is nothing to me." I turned away from her and the car.

I know Alice looked shocked, and a little disgusted that I had chosen a wolf over my own sister, but that isn't how I see it. I see my ideals, and Bella's believes clashing. I wouldn't go to the Volturi, and Bella would have plenty of protection if she needed it. Edward and Alice would keep her safe; I could at least trust Alice in this.

They pealed out of the driveway, leaving Jacob and I alone. He had turned around and he was looking at me in confusion. I only shrugged my shoulders. "There is nothing for me to explain. Bella is 18 now, and I can't tell her what to do. If she wants to chase after the boyfriend that broke her heart, then let her." I told him as he walked closer.

"She is possibly going off to her death." Jacob said.

"Yes, and she chose it to be that way. Like I said, I have a history with the Volturi and my being there could have changed the scales, either in a bad way or a good way. It wasn't worth the risk." I shuffled to my house, and Jacob followed dutifully. I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed the note that Bella had written. It wasn't a very good explanation but Bella was lucky. She may have forgotten, or Jacob hadn't told her but Charlie was taking care of the Clearwater family. So was the rest of the pack.

"Don't think," I started, turning to Jacob's form. "That this means that I want her with you." I warned him. "You'd hurt her down the line, if you were to ever imprint, she'd be heartbroken again, and there would be no other person to go after her when she jumps the next time." I crumbled up Bella's note, and wrote another one, explaining that I was going to Emily's house and Bella was going to be visiting someone who came at last minute. I apologized for her, and told him to call me if he needed me.

"Let's go back to the reservation. Looks like I'm going to be sleeping in the guest room again." I said, tossing the pen away and heading back outside, with a silent and moping Jacob. I wouldn't do anything for him, because again I couldn't. I was so useless. I couldn't do anything for anyone any more. How helpful had I really been, ever since before the accident?

Jacob and I didn't talk during the car ride, and neither did we talk when we reached Emily's house. She wasn't there, and I could guess that she and Sam were at Sue's place. I didn't head up to bed, and Jacob didn't fall asleep. Instead we both sat down in one of the chairs, gathering our thoughts until sunrise.

There was nothing to do; I'd already made the decision. I just couldn't wait. I wanted to be there for her, really I do. I don't want to be there for Edward, or even Alice, though she is my friend, or my family. I don't want to be useless and unloved but she has given me no real choice. I cannot face the Volturi just to keep Edward alive, and I will not follow her.

At some point into the next day, Emily and Sam arrived, exhausted. I hadn't slept a wink, even though I was in human form. Jacob had dosed off at one or two points. Now, with Emily and Sam here he jolted awake from his third battle with sleep. My eyes were unnaturally wide; I could feel them in my head. I couldn't do anything about it though, what if Bella called and I wasn't here to answer?

"Belle, Jacob? What's going on?" Emily questioned. I stared at her, blinking.

"Alice Cullen came back." I told her, standing up, straighter than usual. "Apparently Jacob answered a call and Edward Cullen inferred that Bella was dead, from a vision that Alice had. Bella went after Edward to save his live because he was going to try and join her in death. I refused to go with Alice and Bella, as I still despise Edward Cullen." My voice was so monotone, as if the very breath I was breathing meant nothing to me.

I could see the concerned look on Emily and Sam's face.

"Are any of the other's coming back?" Sam asked me, stepping forward.

"No." Jacob answered and I turned to him. I hadn't thought of the question before.

"Actually. I figure since Edward left because he was trying to protect Bella, he's going to come back with her. He'll figure that it is no use now because she will never have the life he thinks she should have. He wanted her to have a normal one. The rest of the family will probably migrate, since…most…of the other Cullen family members left only because of Edward." Monotone, meaningless. I didn't want to break down in front of these people; they had treated me like family. I had never thought that my wolf family and what I considered my vampire family to meet but it didn't seem like a choice was really there. They would meet.

"Belle are you-" Emily started.

"I'm going to go for a run, as a vampire. So I'll leave the reservation for a while." I cut her off. I didn't want to lie to Emily; I wasn't even close to all right. I walked past Sam and Emily despite even Jacob's protests. They wouldn't want me alone, they'd want to support me but I had to face it. But not yet. I was going to go to the cliffs. That must be where Bella jumped. She had only seen us jumping there. She must have forgotten that we were all stronger than her.

When I did arrive, I barely remembered how I got there. I knew that I'd taken my car, but I don't remember cranking it, or driving it, or even climbing up to the cliff. I sat though, right on the edge of the cliff. The pack and I had such a good time here. Emily, Kim, and I had blended so well, and we had fun. It wasn't fun anymore. I wasn't having fun. I had this insane feeling that everything was only going to get worse from here, like it was going to intensify.

Harry's death was just the marker for something worse to come to us. Or was the return of the Cullen's going to be what turned the tides? It didn't matter. I wasn't worried about that. My future wasn't what concerned me right now. What concerned me was how I was going to deal with seeing Jasper again.

I was angry with him, I loved him, and he was my very soul, and my soul breaker. He had hurt me dearly, but I couldn't stay angry forever. I was still angry, to the point that it hurt. I was also hurting from being away from him, being out of his touch. Just the reminder of our elopement, and how special it had been, even though it had now been marred, the memory was precious. It warmed my insides, and my heart beat just a little, tiny bit harder just thinking of him. Jasper was my everything. He had taken my heart, and dented it but he had not broken it, and dents could be mended.

With the right tools. And Jasper's only tool would be time, and the right situation. So far Jasper had been pushed back, almost forgotten but never truly leaving. He was my radiance, my love, my phoenix. No matter how many times my love for him 'died', it would come again through the ashes. Jasper could never kill my love for him, only hurt it. Jasper, he was my Texan Major.

I missed him, and loathed him.

Jasper…I love him.

For two more days I sat there on that cliff, through the rain…and the storms. I could hear the wolves out there, even Paul. They wouldn't tell Charlie that I was missing though, because they knew that would only cause more problems for me.

It was on the third day, around the turn of night, that my cellphone broke me out of my very own mind. It simply told me that Bella had come back, and the Cullen family was with her, Edward was safe. She knew I didn't care that Edward was safe, but she knew that I would want to know that Jasper was here, in the same vicinity. I was on Quileute land, so they couldn't come on to it without express permission. Unlike me I don't think they would be allowed on the lands. I could stay here, and avoid the vampires. Or I could drop into the ocean like I've wanted to for so long.

The call to my mate was too strong. Just knowing that I have the chance to be around him again was nice, comforting, and enticing. It was so thrilling, and it pained me to know that I was refusing myself sight of him when he was only a few miles from me.

I rose from my spot on the cliff and looked behind me. There was a silver wolf. It was no telling how long he had been there, Paul. He was a good man, but he wasn't my man. He could be my wolf, for now, but I didn't want a small relationship that could end at the drop of a hat. I wanted someone who could love me throughout my existence. Eventually Paul would imprint, probably, and then where would I be?

I wanted Jasper, but I would stay angry with him for a bit longer, simply because he deserved to know how much he'd hurt me, not only with asking to leave Bella. Marrying me with such treachery in mind was a mistake.

Paul lifted his silver head, and shook the rain from it. I hadn't seen him here, even though he was right against me. I realized that I was still in human form, and that he was the only reason that I had been warm. Without Paul I would have been too cold to stay in human form, and would have gone on another rampage. I needed to see Jasper again, only to make my mind behave more. Without lying, I could not say that I didn't look forward to it, but I didn't not either.

At the very least I was ready to see my family again, and to make sure that Bella is safe.

**I know that most people won't like that she didn't go with Bella. Bu I can honestly say that I know my character well. I consider her to be her own person almost, me. I wouldn't have been stupid if I had been in Belle's situation. She and I both wouldn't have gone to the Volturi, and especially not for Edward.**

**Anyways. It's only in the beginning stages but someone that I really like is thinking of doing Breaking Dawn for my story, and I hope she does. I've written a kind of extra where it shows what happens after the end of Eclipse but it would be nice for her to do it. I like her writing but it's only in the beginning stages. **

**So. Almost finished with this story and almost onto the Eclipse version!**


	12. A Challenger

Bella was safe. When I returned through the front door of the house Charlie had been in the living room. He had greeted me with exasperation, and jokes about having to watch me and Paul. I took them all in stride, not commenting but nodding along. I don't think his human eyes, in this light, could see how bad I was.

When he released me I slowly walked up the stairs. I could smell Edward's scent in her room. For going so long without smelling that scent, it only made it easier to smell it in the hallway. I cautiously opened Bella's door. And low and behold he was standing there. At least he had enough sense to stay on the other side of the room from me. Bella was lying on her bed, clearly having been sleeping.

"Oh my God, Belle, you look horrible. Why are you soaking?" Bella asked me, getting up, throwing the covers aside. I looked at Bella before sighing and looking for injuries with my eyes.

"Are _you _all right?" I asked Bella, looking into my sisters brown eyes. She looked better already, and she hadn't been back a day yet. I wonder how long she had been in Edward's presence now. I had no right to ask though, like she had no real right to ask me to go to the Volturi with her. I had chosen not to go to the Volturi, so it was my own fault that I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't help but to be curious anyways. It was in my nature to want to know everything.

"I'm fine, better than ever." Bella told me. I didn't say anything only looking at her, and then I looked at Edward. He looked fine now as well. I knew he probably had looked bad. As much as I didn't admit it Edward and Bella would have to be mates. It was the only explanation for why it affected Bella so badly. The ponce still had dark bags under his eyes, but he looked like a vampire, like always. It was only because of my gift that my features still changed. And it didn't help that I was human now.

"I'm going to bed." I told Bella, blinking once. "Try to be quiet." I turned around and walked out of the door. I didn't want to speak with Edward tonight. If Bella was safe, and happy then I was going to go to sleep now, to refresh my system.

I bathed first, so that my bed wouldn't get wet but it was useless. Sleep wouldn't come to me, no matter how much I wanted it to. I lay there flat on my back for what seems like hours, and could have been hours, with no sense of what was going to happen in my life. What was wrong with me? For years I knew where my life was going, and how it was going to happen. There were only a few times that I had ever been capable of saying that I didn't know what was going to happen. I was so old, but now I felt so young. Is that a side effect to having found your mate? Or was it just a side effect of the Cullen family?

I heard a tapping on my window. I didn't want to look. I wasn't going to like who it was. I could smell his scent, and already I was starting to feel apprehensive. But I couldn't leave him there. I didn't know if he would stay there or not but it was better for me to face him now. If I was in front of the family, I don't know how I would react and I didn't want to scare them away.

When my eyes connected with his form, which was almost hanging from the window, my breath caught. I felt mixed emotions of rage, love, and agony. My Jasper. He looked horrible, as bad as Alice had suggested. His blonde hair was flat, no longer good looking, and his eyes had such dark bags under them. He had been feeding, and once at least recently because his eyes were a bright, solid gold. His eyes were stuck on mine and once I looked into them I felt worries dissolve, and my emotions clear. Jasper was back.

I got up from my bed slowly, prepared for an onslaught. I was still angry with him; I could feel it just looking at him.

"**Belle, before we left…to get married I…Edward is making the family leave. He thinks it's better for Bella if we leave and…I agree." **

"**You….Did you marry me so that I'd leave my sister?"**

"**Belle, she's only going to get hurt if we stay here. You've seen what happens when we get too close to humans." **

"**It's an illusion, Belle!" **

"**She needs me!"**

"**No she doesn't!" **

I shuttered and stopped walking right before the window. The latch on it, the lock, was still broken, from that day. It had been an eyesore in my room for months, but Bella had always been there to distract me before today. I slowly, hesitantly grasped the window and pulled up on it, heaving the only barrier between Jasper and I up.

It was truly a barrier, because as soon as it was down Jasper came through the window, in the little space there was between me in the window he ended up against me and I purred with the feeling of him against me again. Jasper's arms came up to come around me but I moved back. I couldn't fall into his embrace. He had been wrong, and I had hurt so much for it.

Jasper and I didn't speak. I only looked at him. He was still so tall, and I was so short. Even with the mistakes I could see on him, how much they hurt me, he was still beautiful. There was so much resistance needed not to jump him that I almost gave up. I won't though. He was wrong.

"Belle." Jasper whispered, his hand coming forward. I could only stare at it as my angry feeling was joined with pleasure. My ears felt so alive just hearing him saying my name. Despite how cold I was in this vulnerable form, warmth spread from my head to my toes. The ring I saw on his finger sent an ache of undeniable pain through me.

"Jasper." I whispered back, allowing his hand to touch my cheek. I couldn't look in his eyes, I wouldn't be able to. Instead I stared at his chest. It wasn't much better. His chest was covered only by a navy colored button up shirt and I could see those beautiful muscles through it. I could remember all of his embraces, all of his muscles flexing as he made love to me. It made me want to fall into him even more than before.

I took steps back from him, keeping his cold, but so warm, hand away from my cheek, managing to disconnect my own feelings. "You are still mad." Jasper whispered and I met his eyes long enough to see agony in them. I looked away.

"I told you, I said that it was unforgivable. What you did….if you and the family had come back any sooner, even to apologize, I would have kept to my promise, to kill you on sight. I'm only not doing it, to keep Bella happy." I told him and my heart shriveled a little more than it was already.

"I'm sorry Belle." Jasper said, bowing his head down and his eyes searched the floor. "I shouldn't have tried to make you leave your sister. I was being selfish, and I'll never be able to forgive _myself _for trying to make you chose." Jasper's head came up and I sighed as our eyes connected. He looked just as bad as I did. "You told me, when we first started loving each other, that you wouldn't have chosen me if you thought I would hurt your sister. I should have known from that alone. I promise that I will spend every day of my eternity trying to make it better, to make you happy again." Jasper vowed and reached into his pocket.

He pulled out my wedding ring, and my engagement ring. I sighed at the sight of them.

"Would you still wear them? Or keep them? They were only ever meant for you." Jasper held them out, moving his arm slowly. I couldn't move, I could only stare at them. I'd only worn them for so long, but I had loved them then and I loved them now. They were ostentatious and the humans would notice it at once, but I didn't care.

"I might forgive you some day, but it won't be any day soon." I warned Jasper, glancing between the rings and his face.

"I still wear mine." Jasper told me, flipping his hand over to show me his golden wedding ring. It had a band of engraving in it, my name and his twirled together in fancy writing. I hadn't paid attention to it on our wedding day; I'd only thought that it was a plain golden ring. "I know this won't mean you forgive me." Jasper took a step forward and I tensed, still staring at the rings.

"All right." I slowly agreed, reaching forward and gently picking them up from Jasper's hand, wincing at the spark of electricity that shot through my hand. I slid the rings back on to my finger and sighed at the weight. They looked beautiful on my natural skin. They even had looked good on my vampire hand. How could they be so perfect?

"Would you like me to leave now?" Jasper asked me and when I looked up he searched my face with his eyes. "I can feel your anger."

"It would…" I started, pausing in pain as my heart beat erratically at the thought of him leaving me again, but he needed to. I don't have to answer him though as Bella opened her door softly. I turned my head to listen, because she wasn't nearly as quiet as I'm sure she wanted to be. Charlie had been livid, he'd told me, when Bella had come home in Edward Cullen's arms. I hadn't blamed him.

Bella opened my door, freezing when she saw Jasper there with me.

"Yes?" I asked Bella, staring at her.

"Edward and I are going to the Cullen house. Can you come?" Bella asked me, looking between Jasper and I. I smiled at her, walking to stand in front of my sister.

"Yes, we'll come. Jasper was just leaving to go back anyways." I glanced behind me and felt a great deal of pain to see him already gone. He was honoring what I wanted, and that was to stay away. He could probably feel my anger and it was hurting him. I didn't so much want to hurt him, but I wanted him to know how much it had hurt me to be away from him by my own violation. I wanted him to know how much it hurt me to see him again, and know that he had once asked me to leave my family. And meant it.

"Let's go." I told Bella softly, grabbing some clothes and pulling them on. I'd had a pajama set on this entire time, but it was easy to change into a pair of jeans and a red shirt, one that had another saying on it but I could care less what it read. Bella and I snuck out through the window. I'd changed and climbed out with her on my back. Edward was waiting in his car down the block, so that he could take Bella. I watched her walk down to his car but I wouldn't be in a cramped place like a car with him. There would be a good chance that I would kill him. I don't think Bella would like that, and plus I wouldn't want her to have a front row seat.

So I ran. It was nice to feel the cold air on my face, and the humidity left a layer of water in the air that made it smell quite nice. The rush of it was nice to. It had been so long since I had run through the woods as a vampire. The wolves hadn't wanted me to change, even when I was trusted. They hadn't trusted this part of me. They didn't understand that vampire me and human me are mostly one and the same. There were really only physical differences, not brain differences.

When I arrived at the Cullen house the lights were on, and everything. I knew that Jasper was already here, and Bella and Edward couldn't be too far away with the way that Edward drives. I walked up the stairs cautiously, as if anyone would come flying to eat me. They didn't. Instead the family stayed in the living room, the very same room that Bella and I had our birthday in. The piano had been repaired but that wasn't what caught my attention. Rosalie and Emmett were standing together to the left, while Carlisle and Esme were to the right. Alice and Jasper stood in the middle, with Alice bouncing around behind Emmett and Rosalie.

She was the first to come up to me and hug me, because she had already seen me. I smiled at her. "I hope you aren't angry with me, Alice." I told her. "It was for the best that I stayed behind." I told her. She giggled.

"It's okay." She grinned and winked at me. "Emmett's been dying to see you again."

"Yeah, there just isn't anyone here to trade Pokémon with." Emmett pouted. I burst into laughter. Of course, Emmett would make a joke now. Or was he really making a joke? He'd made me show him the game Pokémon, after the fit I playfully had that first time I visited this house. He had loved it, and took it upon himself to 'catch 'em all' as it were.

"God, I missed your humor." I said, hugging Emmett. He nearly crushed me in his grip as he twirled me around. He looked the same as he always had, big and monstrous. Just as playful to I bet.

"I missed you to, sis." Emmett told me, putting me down. Rosalie couldn't wait any longer. I stumbled back a step with the force in which she bowled into my side. Her face was covered in my shirt, but I could feel her shoulders dipping. It took me by surprise because Rose rarely showed this kind of emotion.

"I missed you to." Rose told me. I hugged her, patting her back.

"I know, I did to." I told her, letting her release me to save face. Rose didn't want to appear weak, she never did.

"It is good to have you back in the family." Carlisle said, smiling at me. "We _all _missed you." Esme hugged me to intensify what her mate just said. Carlisle, thankfully, only winked at me, pulling Esme away when it began to get awkward. Speaking of awkward.

"Does anyone know why Bella called this meeting?" I questioned, curiously. "Not that I am not happy to see all of you again." I put my hands up.

"We believe she is going to ask us to change her." Carlisle said, glancing around. "Though we can't be sure, seeing as how we haven't spoken to her since the airport, when she came back with Edward." Carlisle explained. I sighed and gravitated into the family, standing in between Jasper and Alice. I always gravitated to Jasper. I didn't stand to close. I didn't want the family to believe that just because I was wearing Jasper's rings again that we were back together. I did love him, but I also didn't want to get back with him yet.

I heard Bella get out of the Volvo. She didn't wait long to come up. I watched, unconcerned as Bella hugged each of the Cullens welcoming them back into her heart. I was worried. I've always been worried, for a long time now. To think it used to be so peaceful before mine and Bella's birthday.

Bella stood at the bottom of the stairs, so all of the family could see her.

"You all know what I want." Bella started. I sighed, shifting. "And I know how much I'm asking for." Bella looked down at her fingers that she nervously was twisting in front of her. "The only thing that I can think, that would be fair, would be a vote." Bella ran her fingers through her hair.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Edward said, from where he was standing on the stairs above her.

"Shut up." Bella told him, turning around to. It actually made me smile at her. She turned back, and took a nervous breath before smiling. "Alice?"

"I already consider both you and Belle my sisters." Alice told Bella, going forward and hugging her. "Yes." I waited until they were back, away from each other.

"I vote yes." Jasper announced and I looked to him. His eyes weren't on Bella's, but on me. "I don't think that Belle could live without Bella." Jasper explained then paused. "And it would be nice not to want to kill you all the time." He half smiled at Bella.

"I'm sorry." Rosalie stepped forward. She looked so vulnerable, and uncomfortable. "I'm really sorry, to all of you, for how I have acted. Especially to you Bella. And I am really grateful for the brave thing you've done, going and saving my brother. But this isn't a life that I would have chosen for myself. And I wished there would have been someone there to vote no for me." Rose said and glanced at me. I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"I vote, Hell Yeah." Emmett said, coming forward to take Bella off of her feet and hug her. "And we can pick a fight with these Volturi some other way." My lips pursed. I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't pick a fight with the Volturi. Not because I was afraid of them, no they're all puppets on Aro's string. My reason, is different, and a secret. I'll keep it a secret to my grave.

"I already consider you a part of the family." Esme said, becoming the next person to vote on my sister's fate. Carlisle looked at his mate and sighed deeply. He walked forward, looking at Edward.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Edward asked, he looked so in pain. It didn't matter what my vote was. Either way, if I said no or yes, Bella would be changed. I didn't have to choose, the decision had been made for me, or without me if you would rather say it. I was somewhat relieved, because I didn't want to decide if I wanted her to be a vampire. It was better that way. If I had to decide, I don't think Bella and I's relationship would make it.

"You've chosen not to live without her, which leaves me no choice." Carlisle said, using his hands to elaborate. I sighed a little. "I won't lose my son." I could feel for Carlisle. The pain of losing your child was immense, but it was even more painful when it was your first born, or in this instance, your first changed. I wouldn't wish that pain on Carlisle. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

"O-Okay then." Bella said, smiling. "I-I can wait until graduation. To make it easier on Charlie." Bella was planning already. She didn't know how painful it was to know that you can't age. She didn't know all of the things that she would be missing out on, and how painful it would be to commit her own death. I knew. I had to theorize my own death, so my people wouldn't be left with nothing. I knew, before I realized my gift, how painful it was to not be old enough to be taken serious, or to be taken the wrong way because I didn't change, ever. It was a hard life.

"Let's go home for now." I spoke up, moving forward. I paused when Edward appeared behind her. I met his golden eyes with frost in my own. "I'll follow you and Edward then." I turned around, walking out the door. So this was how it was going to be. I walked down the stairs. I could hear Bella and Edward behind me, whispering to each other. I didn't care. I was tired. It was time for me to sleep. If I didn't I feared what I would do to all of these other people.


	13. A New Moon

I got into my car, almost forgetting my strength in my rash moments. The door of my car was almost ripped off its hinges but I got in anyways, cranking the car and going off. I didn't want to wait on Bella and Edward. He apparently thought he had it covered. It was like he was passing her off. What? So he's back now and he wants me to back off? Was he still stuck on what happened at the birthday party?

I think, given the circumstances in which I lost control, I can be given a little bit of leeway about that. I didn't do it on purpose, and she didn't get hurt because _I_ threw her into a vase of glass. She got hurt because of _him _and only because of him. Not because of me, or because of Jasper.

There was something in the road. I slammed on the breaks, just in time to miss Jacob, and surprisingly Paul. I changed automatically back into a human. I got out of the car, and Jacob took me into his arms. It wasn't just him. He released me, and I took a breath before Paul's arms were surrounding me. I heard the Volvo pull up behind me, almost hitting my car.

"Don't ever do that to me again." Paul whispered. "I didn't think you were ever going to move, and then you just take off back to your house without a word?" Paul squeezed me and I hugged him to. He was so worried.

"I'm sorry. I was just concerned about Bella." I muttered, looking back. Jacob had trotted into the forest and I watched Edward and Bella follow. "We had best make sure they don't kill each other, or Bella."

"What does it matter? That leech deserves death." Paul growled.

"I agree, but Bella doesn't. If Jacob doesn't win, and don't get smug it could happen, then I don't want to think that I could have done something." I took Paul's hand and lead him into the forest but he stopped me. I felt him begin to shake.

"Why are you wearing wedding rings?" Paul snarled. I looked down at the rings and back up at him with no emotions.

"I told you this already Paul. Jasper and I are mates. I haven't forgiven him, but that doesn't mean that I won't ever forgive him. I love Jasper, no matter what that will probably always be true." I looked him over. "Do you need to leave?" I quietly asked.

"No, I'm alright." Paul grunted, moving forward, not looking at me. I know he wants more, he's said as much. It would be better for both of us if we don't go there. It'll be better for every part of our relationship.

"-two are still alive then?" I heard Jacob's voice as Paul and I entered hearing distance. I stepped up onto the hill, watching with Paul. I even tugged him down to sit on a log with me. I didn't want to stand anymore.

"He thinks it's me keeping you away." Edward said. I glanced at the sky. It was bright outside, I had left Charlie a note, saying that an emergency had come up and we'd left, but I knew that he wouldn't believe it. He trusted me though, because I was the only one who hadn't stabbed him in the back. If he knew the huge secret that I was keeping, he wouldn't believe me ever again.

"You stay the hell out of my head." Jacob grunted at Edward. I believe that this might actually become a wolf on vampire fight. If only I had some popcorn with me. But I don't and this is a very serious matter.

"Jacob, I know you have something to say to me." Edward stepped forward. He had hung back apparently and let Bella go ahead because she was a few paces before him. I shifted a little, so that I could curl into Paul's side. I was human, and it was cold out again. I hadn't been sleeping, and I'd been soaked. Now wasn't a good time for me to have this discussion. "But I want to say something to you first, if that's all right. Thank you." I raised my eyebrows and snorted. The group below us only now seemed to realize that Paul and I were above them.

"Go ahead, we don't mean to interrupt." I deadpanned.

"I do." Paul muttered, crossly. I elbowed him.

"Thank you," Edward went on, acting as if we had never interrupted him. "Thank you for keeping Bella alive when I didn't."

"No," Jacob said, not giving Edward time to speak another word. "You didn't. Belle and I did. Do you know how much this hurt Belle?" Jacob motioned to me. I shook my head.

"Hey, keep me out of this. I don't care how much Eddie knows." I leaned back. "Rip him a new one Jake. I'm starting to feel better already." A lie. I wasn't feeling better at all. I wanted to be sleeping in Jasper's arms. He was so close to me that all I had to do was forgive him, but I couldn't yet.

"None of it was for your benefit." Jacob told Edward. "It was for Bella's." Okay, I was feeling a bit better that Jacob was taking it out on Edward. Edward needed to realize that just because Bella forgave him, doesn't mean that everything will be all right. We had so many problems right now, or I did at least. Victoria, probably the wolves, and the Volturi. If we _didn't _change Bella, we would never get it past the Volturi. They would only kill us. Or try anyways.

"I'm still grateful." Edward nodded at Jacob. Always the polite bastard he was. "But I'm here now. Belle and you need to realize that. I won't be leaving Bella's side, unless she orders me away." Paul squeezed my hand and I looked at him, into his deep brown eyes, and I sighed. Edward was right, but I knew that already. I've also committed to having a strong dislike for him for a long time.

"We'll see." Jacob commented. "Hey," Jacob jumped down from the tree log he was standing on as Edward turned away. "It's my turn to talk. I'm here to remind you about a key part in the treaty." I sat forward as Paul stiffened.

"I haven't forgotten." Edward tried to avoid it.

"What key point?" Bella asked, more like demanded.

"If any of _them _bites a human, then the truce is over." I stood up, jumping down as best as I could to Bella as a human. I wouldn't let them hurt her, even if I didn't necessarily agree to having her change. Or I did, but I really didn't. I couldn't explain it, but the matter really was up to Bella, because it was her life, not ours. Paul followed me, though he stayed back from Edward, as a safety precaution because Paul was a little like Jasper, in the sense that he couldn't hold himself back very well. He would change at a moment's notice.

"But if I chose it, then it has nothing to do with you." Bella argued, saying what I felt.

"No. No, I won't let you." Jacob shook his head.

"Jacob." Paul warned.

"You're not going to be one of them." Jacob took a step forward, menacingly. I eyed him, and Paul took a step forward. I can't believe how level headed Paul was being about all of this. He was usually the one to be so rash. Of course to him, if Bella was bitten then he just got to kill a bunch of vampires. To Jacob it was the person he considered to be the love of his life.

To me, it was my sister. But I don't think that Bella and Edward cared. They knew their risks. I don't know if I've ever thought of it before, but if Jasper and I were in that kind of situation, if I was really human, then I wouldn't be able to blame them. I'd change for Jasper, even now in this situation, if I knew that Jasper had left me because he loved me, then I would have chosen to change. Oh, I would probably still be angry with him every step of the way, but I would do it so that I knew that when I wasn't angry with him anymore, I could love him.

"It's not _up _to you, Jake." Bella argued, turning a bit away from the angry werewolf. At least she has some sense about her.

"You _know_ what we'll do to you. I won't have a choice." Jacob turned to me now. "How can you let her do this? After all you've been through, would you really want her to do this?" I widened my eyes as I was suddenly put on the spot. I couldn't lie now, but I could avoid telling Bella that I wasn't sure I wanted her changed.

"It's Bella's life, and it's her choice." I told Jacob. "I'm not saying I agree, or disagree. I am simply not making her choice for her." I backed up a little when he growled. I had probably been his last line of defense.

"Bella, please, come." Edward tried to get her away from the angry werewolf. Paul growled and I did as well. It wasn't Edward's choice to get Bella out of there. Jacob had learnt his lesson with me. If he changed, he'd get far enough away from her. Plus, Paul was here to help, and so was I. I had experience being ripped open by Jacob.

"Jake," Bella came closer to Edward, after whispering words to him that I couldn't hear, even this far from her and him. "I love you." I saw Jacob take a deep breath. Why would she do this to him? Why give him hope when there was none? "So, please, don't make me chose, cause it'll be him. It'll be all of them. It'll be my sister, who loves me and protects me." I felt my heart warm for a second. "It's always been them."

"Bella…" Jacob whispered, crushed. I saw Edward move; it wasn't a good time to draw Jacob's attention to him. I could almost literally see Jacob's heart crushing. I heard Paul snarl beside me and I grasped his hand, trying to keep him from killing Edward at least while Bella was so attached to him.

"Goodbye, Jacob." Edward said and Jacob's anger flamed, like my own did whenever I saw Edward's face.

"No! You don't speak for her!" Jacob growled and grabbed Edward's arm. Edward swung him off of him and I watched as Jacob phased midair. I stepped in front of Bella, changing on the spot as well. Paul growled and changed, ripping out of his clothes and coming to stand beside me. He may not agree with turning Bella, but he knew that his pack brother would only hurt more if he killed Bella.

"Stop." I ordered as Jacob went to pile through us. He hauled, as if I had spoken in Sam's voice. "You can't hurt Edward, without hurting Bella. Trust me; I've thought it through plenty of times." I told him. I was in crouched formation, ready for him to strike. I wouldn't kill him, but I'd keep him away from Edward, at least as long as Edward stayed near Bella. Being the rash person she is Bella came up behind me to look at Jake. I knew she was only hurting him.

"Paul, take Jacob back to the reservation. I'll be there as soon as possible-" Edward cut me off.

"No, Jasper would never let you-" I turned to snarl at him, as did Paul.

"Jasper, even when I am mad at him, let's me make my own decisions. That is something you should pick up Eddie." I sneered. "I don't like you; I think I've made that clear. The only reason I am protecting you, is because Bella stands beside you." I cracked my neck. "Make sure you stay beside her and protect her because I am still as pissed at you as I was the moment I found out." I turned back to Jacob and Paul. "Go. Find Sam. Calm down." I ordered. Jacob put his head down and then started off, Paul following him.

"Jake…" Bella whispered, coming closer to watch him disappear. I stopped her.

"Bella, don't hurt him anymore. You've chose Edward, and vampirism." I squeezed her shoulders, glancing behind her. "I'm going to go comfort him. Don't worry about it." I turned and flashed to my car, turning human as I got in and started off to the reservation as fast as I could manage. I may not be vampire on the reservation, but that didn't mean I couldn't try and do something for him.

And I did, I found Sam and Emily at their place, and told them what was going on. They weren't surprised. I watched Sam disappear. Five seconds later a howl, calling the others, sounded. Nothing was going to be okay again. I was fighting for everything I had.

I went upstairs, with Emily's permission and I crashed. I wanted to get better, for my mind to be less chaotic, to feel better. With so many things that could be coming to get me and my sister, I wouldn't be surprised if something happened soon.

I wouldn't find out until the next day that Bella had asked Edward to be the one to change her. I wouldn't find out about his condition until another day had pasted. He wanted her to marry him. I nearly killed him, but I would suffer in silence. I suppose that I should have seen it coming. I just didn't want to. I didn't want to admit that Edward Cullen would be in my life for a long time. I was willing to admit that I let Jasper hold me, when I found out.

I let him wrap his strong arms around me, and just hold me, to keep me safe from all of the problems in the world. I let him be my mate for one moment. But I broke away because while he was my mate, he wasn't my forever just yet.

I had to forgive him first. And I was working on it. I didn't have any idea, just how long it would take me to do it, but I like to think that one day I will forgive him. But like I said, vampires can hold grudges for a long time.

**Well, this is the end of this story, and I'm on to the third installment! I'm so excited and I can't wait to see all of your reactions! I don't know what else to say. I've finished writing the third installment, so that should be quick updating. As well, Xo BellaItalia oX and I have made an agreement, and she will be writing the fourth book for this story. I think it's a good idea, and I like her writing, and imagination, and everything! I'll post the first chapter to the next one soon!**


	14. A New Chapter

Thought I'd let everyone know that the first chapter of the Eclipse story is up!


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